雙語·《刀鋒》 第六章 八

CHAPTER SIX 8
第六章 八

Larry had been silent for a few minutes, and unwilling to hurry him, I waited. Presently he gave me a friendly little smile as though he had suddenly once more become aware of me.
拉里沉默了下來，有幾分鐘沒有說話。我不愿意催促他，便耐心地等待著。過了一會(huì)兒，他沖我莞爾一笑，就好像突然才意識(shí)到我在跟前似的。

“When I got down to Travancore I found I needn't have asked for information about Shri Ganesha. Everyone knew of him.For many years he'd lived in a cave in the hills, but finally he'd been persuaded to move down to the plain where some charitable person had given him a plot of land and had built a little adobe house for him.It was a long way from Trivandrum, the capital, and it took me all day, first by train and then by bullock cart, to get to the Ashrama.I found a young man at the entrance of the compound and asked him if I could see the Yogi.I'd brought with me the basket of fruit which is the customary gift to offer.In a few minutes the young man came back and led me into a longhall with windows all around it.In one corner Shri Ganesha sat in the attitude of meditation on a raised dais covered with a tiger skin.‘I've been expecting you，’he said.I was surprised, but supposed my friend of Madura had told him something about me.But he shook his head when I mentioned his name.I presented my fruit and he told the young man to take it away.We were left alone and he looked at me without speaking.I don’t know how long the silence lasted.It might have been for half an hour.I’ve told you what he looked like；what I haven’t told you is the serenity that he irradiated, the goodness, the peace, the selflessness.I was hot and tired after my journey, but gradually I began to feel wonderfully rested.Before he’d said another word I knew that this was the man I’d been seeking.”
“我趕到特拉凡哥爾，發(fā)現(xiàn)沒必要打聽希瑞·格涅沙的下落。說起他，路人皆知。起初，他進(jìn)入深山，在一個(gè)山洞里隱居，一住就是好多年。后來，有人勸說他移居平原，一位施主舍出一塊地，給他蓋了座土坯房。那兒離首府特里凡得瑯路途遙遙，我花了一整天的時(shí)間，先是乘火車，后又坐牛車，終于到了他的靜修處。在院子的入口處，我碰見一個(gè)年輕人，問他能不能拜謁靜修者。此行，我?guī)砹艘换@子水果作為見面禮。幾分鐘后，那個(gè)年輕人走回來，把我領(lǐng)到了一個(gè)狹長的大廳里，四下里開著一扇扇的窗戶。在大廳的一角，只見希瑞·格涅沙端坐于一個(gè)蒙著虎皮的臺(tái)子上，正在冥想。‘正在恭候你的到來呢?！麊⒖谡f道。我先是感到詫異，繼而心想一定是馬都拉的那個(gè)朋友說起我來著，于是便向他提到了那位朋友的名字，誰知他搖頭表示不認(rèn)識(shí)。我把水果呈上，他吩咐那個(gè)年輕人收走。大廳里只剩下我們倆，他一句話也不說，默默地望著我。不知道這種沉默的局面持續(xù)了有多長時(shí)間，大概有半個(gè)小時(shí)吧。以前我對(duì)你說過他的情況，但是卻沒有提到他的氣質(zhì)——他渾身散發(fā)出的氣息是寧靜、善良、平和以及無私。我一路趕來，覺得又熱又累，而后來逐漸靜下來，感到出奇地放松。沒等他再說任何話，我就意識(shí)到他正是我尋找的人?！?/p>

“Did he speak English?”I interrupted.
“他會(huì)說英語嗎？”我插話問道。

“No. But, you know, I'm pretty quick at languages, I'd picked up enough Tamil to understand and make myself understood in the South.At last he spoke.
不會(huì)。不過，你知道，我學(xué)語言是相當(dāng)快的。那時(shí)我已經(jīng)掌握了一些泰米爾語，在南方能聽得懂別人的話，別人也知道我說的是什么。在沉默了許久之后，他終于開了口。

“‘What have you come here for?'he asked.
‘你來這兒有何貴干？’他問道。

“I began to tell him how I'd come to India and how I'd passed my time for three years；how, on report of their wisdom and sanctity, I'd gone to one holy man after another and had found no one to give me what I looked for. He interrupted me. “‘All that I know. There is no need to tell me.What have you come here for?'
我向他講述了自己來印度的經(jīng)歷，講述了我在印度三年來的遭遇。我說自己四處打聽智者和圣賢，然后逐一拜訪，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)無人能夠解答我心中的疑問。講到此處，他打斷了我的話說道：‘這些我都知道，不必再講。你來這兒有何貴干？’

“‘So that you may be my Guru，'I answered.
‘是想請(qǐng)你做我的導(dǎo)師?！一卮稹?/p>

“‘Brahman alone is the Guru，'he said.
‘只有婆羅門才能為人導(dǎo)師?！f。

“He continued to look at me with a strange intensity and then suddenly his body became rigid, his eyes seemed to turn inwards, and I saw that he'd fallen into the trance which the Indians call Samadhi and in which they hold the duality of subject and object vanishes and you become Knowledge Absolute. I was sitting cross-legged on the floor, in front of him, and my heart beat violently.After how long a time I don't know he sighed and I realized that he had recovered normal consciousness.He gave me a glance sweet with loving-kindness.
他一直在盯著我看，神情古怪、專注，后來他的身體突然變得硬挺挺的，眼睛似乎轉(zhuǎn)為內(nèi)視，看得出他已進(jìn)入印度人所說的入定狀態(tài)。進(jìn)入這種狀態(tài)，一個(gè)人會(huì)物我兩忘，成為‘認(rèn)知’和‘無限’。我席地盤膝而坐，面向著他，心里怦怦直跳。過了不知有多長時(shí)間，他輕輕發(fā)出一聲嘆息，我情知他已恢復(fù)了常態(tài)。他望了我一眼，目光柔和，里面包含著慈悲和愛。

“‘Stay，'he said.‘They will show you where you may sleep.'
‘那就住下來吧?！f道，‘他們會(huì)告訴你歇宿的地方?！?/p>

“I was given as a dwelling-place the shack in which Shri Ganesha had lived when first he came down to the plain. The hall in which he now passed both day and night had been built when disciples gathered around him and more and more people, attracted by his fame, came to visit him.So that I mightn't be conspicuous I adopted the comfortable Indian dress and I got so sunburnt that unless your attention was drawn to me you might have taken me for a native.I read a great deal.I meditated.I listened to Shri Ganesha when he chose to talk；he didn't talk very much, but he was always willing to answer questions and it was wonderfully inspiring to listen to him.It was like music in your ears.Though in his youth he had himself practised very severe austerities he did not enjoin them on his disciples.He sought to wean them from the slavery of selfhood, passion, and sense, and told them that they could acquire liberation by tranquillity, restraint, renunciation, resignation, by steadfastness of mind and by an ardent desire for freedom.People used to come from the nearby town three or four miles away, where there was a famous temple to which great crowds flocked once a year for a festival；they came from Trivandrum and from far-off places to tell him their troubles, to ask his advice, to listen to his teaching；and all went away strengthened in soul and at peace with themselves.What he taught was very simple.He taught that we are all greater than we know and that wisdom is the means to freedom.He taught that it is not essential to salvation to retire from the world, but only to renounce the self.He taught that work done with no selfish interest purifies the mind and that duties are opportunities afforded to man to sink his separate self and become one with the universal self.But it wasn't his teaching that was so remarkable；it was the man himself, his benignity, his greatness of soul, his saintliness.His presence was a benediction.I was very happy with him.I felt that at last I had found what I wanted.The weeks, the months passed with unimaginable rapidity.I proposed to stay either till he died, and he told us that he did not intend very much longer to inhabit his perishable body, or till I received illumination, the state when you have at last burst the bonds of ignorance, and know with a certainty there is no disputing that you and the Absolute are one.”
“分給我的下榻處就是希瑞·格涅沙最初來到平原上時(shí)所住過的那間土坯房。他現(xiàn)在住的廳堂（他不分日夜都待在此處）是后來門徒越來越多，慕名趕來參拜的人絡(luò)繹不絕的時(shí)候，特意為他建造的。為了不至于引人注目，我改穿了舒適的印度服裝，把皮膚曬得黝黑，不注意看，你會(huì)把我當(dāng)成本地人呢。我讀了許多經(jīng)卷，靜下心來冥想。希瑞·格涅沙有談興的時(shí)候，我便聆聽他的教誨。他不太愛說話，但回答你的提問，他會(huì)樂此不疲。聽他的教誨，你會(huì)茅塞頓開。他的話語如音樂般悅耳。他年輕時(shí)嚴(yán)于律己，過著清苦的生活，但對(duì)弟子卻不刻意要求，只是勸導(dǎo)他們要擺脫私心、情欲、聲色的奴役，教導(dǎo)他們應(yīng)該靜修、克制、謙虛、超脫，一心一意、孜孜以求地追求自由，最終得到解脫。人們紛紛從三四英里開外的一個(gè)臨近小鎮(zhèn)趕來參拜（那個(gè)鎮(zhèn)上有座名寺，逢年過節(jié)都會(huì)有大量徒眾進(jìn)寺燒香磕頭）；也有人從特里凡得瑯以及天涯海角趕來見他，向他傾訴自己的苦難，尋求良方妙策，聆聽他的教誨。那些人來時(shí)憂慮重重，走時(shí)心情舒展，內(nèi)心一片祥和。他的教誨言簡意賅。他告訴我們，說人之偉大超出人之想象，修得智慧之身，便可獲得解脫。他說要脫離苦海并不一定要出家，只需去掉一個(gè)‘我’字；做事不懷私欲，便會(huì)獲得純潔之心，舍棄小我，成就大我，就能暢行天下。不過，令人感觸最深的還不是他的教誨，而是他的為人，是他的慈祥、氣度和圣潔。和他相遇，真是上天的賜福。同他在一起，我感到十分幸福。我覺得自己如愿以償，實(shí)現(xiàn)了人生目標(biāo)。日月如梭，光陰似箭，一個(gè)星期接著一個(gè)星期，一個(gè)月接著一個(gè)月倏忽而逝。我打算住到他圓寂（他說他不準(zhǔn)備久留于這個(gè)臭皮囊之中），或者說住到一朝大徹大悟，意即沖破愚昧的藩籬，深信不疑地感到自己已與‘無限’融為一體?！?/p>

“And then?”
“以后會(huì)怎么樣呢？”

“Then, if what they say is true, there is nothing more. The soul's course on earth is ended and it will return no more.”
“以后嘛，如果他們所言不虛，一切就不復(fù)存在。靈魂在塵世的旅途結(jié)束，一朝逝去，永不復(fù)返?！?/p>

“And is Shri Ganesha dead?”I asked.
“希瑞·格涅沙圓寂了嗎？”

“Not so far as I know.”
“據(jù)我所知，尚未圓寂?！?/p>

As he spoke he saw what was implied in my question and gave a light laugh. He went on after a moment's hesitation, but in such a manner as led me at first to suppose that he wished to avoid answering the second question that he well knew was on the tip of my tongue, the question, of course, whether he had received illumination.
他說完，意識(shí)到我的問話別有深意，于是淡然一笑。猶豫片刻之后，他又接著說了下去，不過語氣有所不同，讓我一開始以為他一定是不愿回答我很可能會(huì)問到的第二個(gè)問題，也就是問他是否已大徹大悟。

“I didn't stay at the Ashrama continuously. I was lucky enough to make the acquaintance of a native forestry officer whose permanent residence was on the outskirts of a village at the foot of the mountains.He was a devotee of Shri Ganesha and when he could get away from his work came and spent two or three days with us.He was a nice fellow and we had long talks.He liked to practise his English on me.After I'd known him for some time, he told me that the forestry service had a bungalow up in the mountains and if ever I wanted to go there to be by myself he would give me the key.I went there now and then.It was a two-day journey；first you had to go by bus to the forestry officer's village, then you had to walk, but when you got there it was magnificent in its grandeur and its solitude.I took what I could in a knapsack on my back and hired a bearer to carry provisions for me, and I stayed till they were exhausted.It was only a log cabin with a cookhouse behind it and for furniture there was nothing but a trestle bed on which to put your sleeping-mat, a table, and a couple of chairs.It was cool up there and at times it was pleasant to light a fire at night.It gave me a wonderful thrill to know that there wasn't a living soul within twenty miles of me.At night I used often to hear the roar of a tiger or the racket of elephants as they crashed through the jungle.I used to take long walks in the forest.There was one place where I loved to sit because from it I saw the mountains spread before me and below, a lake to which at dusk the wild animals, deer, pig, bison, elephant, leopard came to drink.
我并沒有一直住在靜修處。我有幸結(jié)識(shí)了一個(gè)當(dāng)?shù)氐纳止芾韱T，此人住在山腳下一座村莊的外邊。他是希瑞·格涅沙的崇拜者，一旦從工作中抽出空來，就跑來和我們?cè)谝黄鹱∩蟽扇臁Ｋ莻€(gè)大好人，我們倆常促膝長談。他喜歡找我練習(xí)英語。在相識(shí)了一段時(shí)間之后，他告訴我森林管理所在山上有間小屋子，什么時(shí)候我想一個(gè)人上山去住住，他就把鑰匙交給我。后來，我每隔一段時(shí)間就到那兒去一趟。路上要跋涉兩天——先坐長途汽車到森林管理員的村子，下邊的路便需要步行了。不過，到了那里，就別有洞天——環(huán)境優(yōu)雅、景色壯觀。我把所能攜帶的東西裝在一只背袋里自己背著，雇了個(gè)腳夫替我擔(dān)食物。在那兒我一住就是多日，直至將食物吃完。那是一個(gè)木頭小屋，后邊帶一間廚房，屋里有一張架子床，上面可放鋪蓋，還有一張桌子和兩把椅子，再?zèng)]有別的家具了。山上很涼爽，有時(shí)夜間生一堆篝火倒是挺愜意的。后來得知方圓二十英里渺無人煙，不由心驚膽戰(zhàn)。夜間常聽到虎嘯或者野象群穿過叢林時(shí)發(fā)出的吼叫。我經(jīng)常進(jìn)森林里遠(yuǎn)足，最喜歡的是找個(gè)地方坐下，眺望遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)近近的群山，眺望湖泊——黃昏時(shí)分，野生動(dòng)物們紛紛聚在湖邊飲水，其中有野鹿、野豬和野牛，也有大象和豹子。

“When I'd been at the Ashrama just two years I went up to my forest retreat for a reason that'll make you smile. I wanted to spend my birthday there.I got there the day before.Next morning I awoke before dawn and I thought I'd go and see the sunrise from the place I've just told you about.I knew the way blindfold.I sat down under a tree and waited.It was night still, but the stars were pale in the sky, and day was at hand.I had a strange feeling of suspense.So gradually that I was hardly aware of it light began to filter through the darkness, slowly, like a mysterious figure slinking between the trees.I felt my heart beating as though at the approach of danger.The sun rose.”
“來靜修處滿兩年時(shí)，我又一次到森林小屋里去，原因說出來恐怕會(huì)惹你發(fā)笑——我想在那兒過生日。我提前一天抵達(dá)那兒，次日天未亮就醒來了，心想還不如到我剛才提及的那個(gè)觀景點(diǎn)看日出去。那地方我閉著眼睛也摸得到。到了觀景點(diǎn)，我坐在一棵樹下等日出。此時(shí)仍是黑夜，但天上的星光已趨于暗淡，白日即將降臨。我滿懷期待，心里有一種特殊的感覺。曙光神不知鬼不覺地悄悄摸來，慢慢地刺破了黑暗，就像一道神秘的身形躡足穿過林子。我的心一陣狂跳，就好像有危險(xiǎn)在接近似的。太陽升了起來！”

Larry paused and a rueful smile played on his lips.
拉里打住話頭，嘴角浮出一絲苦笑。

“I have no descriptive talent, I don't know the words to paint a picture；I can't tell you, so as to make you see it, how grand the sight was that was displayed before me as the day broke in its splendour. Those mountains with their deep jungle, the mist still entangled in the treetops, and the bottomless lake far below me.The sun caught the lake through a cleft in the heights and it shone like burnished steel.I was ravished with the beauty of the world.I'd never known such exaltation and such a transcendent joy.I had a strange sensation, a tingling that arose in my feet and travelled up to my head, and I felt as though I were suddenly released from my body and as pure spirit partook of a loveliness I had never conceived.I had a sense that a knowledge more than human possessed me, so that everything that had been confused was clear and everything that had perplexed me was explained.I was so happy that it was pain and I struggled to release myself from it, for I felt that if it lasted a moment longer I should die；and yet it was such rapture that I was ready to die rather than forgo it.How can I tell you what I felt?No words can tell the ecstasy of my bliss.When I came to myself I was exhausted and trembling.I fell asleep.
只恨我的表達(dá)力不強(qiáng)，不善于用語言描述景色，找不到合適的字眼向你形容破曉時(shí)展現(xiàn)在我眼前的那幅壯麗的景觀。青山滿目，叢林青翠，晨霧仍繚繞于樹梢間，遠(yuǎn)處山腳下鋪展著深不見底的湖泊。陽光從山巔間的空隙射進(jìn)來，把燦銀一般的光芒灑向湖面。好一幅美麗的景觀，真叫我陶然若醉。一種從未有過的喜悅，一種超然物外的歡樂，蕩漾在我的心間。我有一種異樣的感覺，感到一陣戰(zhàn)栗從腳后跟傳到了頭頂；我覺得就好像自己的靈魂突然升華，脫離了軀體，感受到從未有過的心曠神怡。一種醍醐灌頂?shù)母杏X油然而生——模糊不清的概念得到了澄清，令人困惑的疑難問題得到了解答。我高興到了極致，乃至于心口發(fā)痛，于是便努力想擺脫這種狀況，生怕這樣下去會(huì)死去。然而，這種歡樂又是如此誘人，我寧肯死去也不愿將其放棄。那種感覺，我怎么能說得清呢？任何語言都無法表達(dá)我那種欣喜若狂的感受。末了恢復(fù)常態(tài)后，我已經(jīng)精疲力竭，渾身發(fā)抖。最后，我懵懵然進(jìn)入了夢(mèng)鄉(xiāng)。

“It was high noon when I woke. I walked back to the bungalow, and I was so light at heart that it seemed to me that I hardly touched the ground.I made myself some food, gosh, I was hungry, and I lit my pipe.”
“我醒來時(shí)，已是中午。返回小屋的途中，心里輕松愉快，腳下有騰云駕霧之感。我給自己弄了些吃的（天呀，我真是餓壞了），然后點(diǎn)上了煙斗。”

Larry lit his pipe now.
說到這里，拉里把手中的煙斗也點(diǎn)著了。

“I dared not think that this was illumination that I, Larry. Darrell of Marvin, Illinois, had received when others striving for it for years, with austerity and mortification, still waited.”
“我真不敢相信，別人經(jīng)年累月清心寡欲地苦苦修行，尚未大徹大悟，而我，伊利諾伊州馬文鎮(zhèn)的拉里·達(dá)雷爾，竟然做到了?！?/p>

“What makes you think that it was anything more than a hypnotic condition induced by your state of mindcombined with the solitude, the mystery of the dawn, and the burnished steel of your lake?”
“你不覺得那只是一種催眠狀態(tài)，是由你當(dāng)時(shí)的心情，再加上孤獨(dú)感、拂曉時(shí)分的神秘氣氛以及燦銀一般的湖水而造成的嗎？”

“Only my overwhelming sense of its reality. After all it was an experience of the same order as the mystics have had all over the world through all the centuries, Brahmins in India, Sufis in Persia, Catholics in Spain, Protestants in New England；and so far as they've been able to describe what defies description they've described it in similar terms.It's impossible to deny the fact of its occurrence；the only difficulty is to explain it.If I was for a moment one with the Absolute or if it was an inrush from the subconscious of an affinity with the universal spirit which is latent in all of us, I wouldn't know.”
“我深切地感受到那一切都是真實(shí)的。不管怎樣，千百年來，全世界的神秘主義者都有類似的體驗(yàn)。印度的婆羅門、波斯的蘇非派、西班牙的天主教徒以及新英格蘭的新教徒，只要描述那種難以形容的境界，所用詞語都差不多。這種境界的存在是無可否認(rèn)的，難就難在不好解釋其原因。至于我當(dāng)時(shí)是和‘無限’融為了一體，還是普通的精神向往（這種向往人人皆有）在潛意識(shí)上的一種表現(xiàn)，這我就說不清了。”

Larry paused for an instant and threw me a quizzical glance.
拉里停了一下，嘲弄地看了我一眼。

“By the way, can you touch your little finger with your thumb?”he asked.
“我問你，你能用拇指碰到你的小指頭嗎？”他問道。

“Of course，”I said with a laugh, proving it with the appropriate action.
“當(dāng)然能。”我笑著回答，并且當(dāng)場(chǎng)做給他看。

“Are you aware that that's something that only man and the primates can do?It's because the thumb is opposable to the other digits that the hand is the admirable instrument it is. Isn't it possible that the opposable thumb, doubtless in a rudimentary form, was developed in the remote ancestor of man and the gorilla in certain individuals, and was a characteristic that only became common to all after innumerable generations?Isn't it at least possible that these experiences of oneness with Reality that so many diverse persons have had point to a development in the human consciousness of a sixth sense which in the far, far future will be common to all men so that they may have as direct a perception of the Absolute as we have now of the objects of sense?”
“你可知道這只有人類和靈長目動(dòng)物能夠做到？由于拇指能接觸到另外的幾個(gè)手指，所以手才能成為稱心如意的工具。也許，這種靈巧的拇指，當(dāng)它還在雛形時(shí)，只為人類個(gè)別的祖先以及大猩猩所擁有，后來經(jīng)過世世代代的進(jìn)化才成了人類共同的特征。至于和‘無限’的融合，是許多人都有過的體驗(yàn)，這也許預(yù)示著人類意識(shí)中的第六感覺進(jìn)化的方向，后者也許在極其遙遠(yuǎn)的未來會(huì)成為人類共同的特征，使得人類能夠直接感受到‘無限’，就像咱們現(xiàn)在感受周圍的事物一樣容易。至少存在著這種可能性吧？”

“And how would you expect that to affect them?”I asked.
“你覺得那會(huì)對(duì)人類產(chǎn)生什么影響呢？”我問道。

“I can as little tell you that as the first creature that found it could touch its little finger with its thumb could have told you that infinite consequences were entailed in that insignificant action. So far as I'm concerned I can only tell you that the intense sense of peace, joy, and assurance that possessed me in that moment of rapture abides with me still and that the vision of the world's beauty is as fresh and vivid now as when first my eyes were dazzled by it.”
“這就說不清了。當(dāng)初，人類的祖先能將拇指碰到小指，他們也不知道那一細(xì)小的動(dòng)作后來竟會(huì)產(chǎn)生如此重大的影響。至于我自己的那段體驗(yàn)，我只能說，在那如癡如醉的時(shí)刻，我的心里一片寧靜、歡樂和怡然，看到世界上那極為美麗的景觀，不禁眼花繚亂。當(dāng)時(shí)的情景至今仍歷歷在目?！?/p>

“But Larry, surely your idea of the Absolute forces you to believe that the world and its beauty are merely an illusion-the fabric of Maya.”
“話又說回來，拉里，你們那樣看待‘無限’，勢(shì)必會(huì)導(dǎo)致你們認(rèn)為這個(gè)世界及其美景只不過是幻覺，是摩耶一手編織出來的?！?/p>

“It's a mistake to think that the Indians look upon the world as an illusion；they don't；all they claim is that it's not real in the same sense as the Absolute. Maya is only a speculation devised by those ardent thinkers to explain how the Infinite could produce the Finite.Samkara, the wisest of them all, decided that it was an insoluble mystery.You see, the difficulty is to explain why Brahman, which is Being, Bliss, and Intelligence, which is unalterable, which ever is and forever maintains itself in rest, which lacks nothing and needs nothing and so knows neither change nor strife, which is perfect, should create the world.Well, if you ask that question the answer you're generally given is that the Absolute created the world in sport with-out reference to any purpose.But when you think of flood and famine, of earthquake and hurricane and all the ills that flesh is heir to, your moral sense is outraged at the idea that so much that is shocking can have been created in play.Shri Ganesha had too much kindliness of heart to believe that；he looked upon the world as the expression of the Absolute and as the overflow of its perfection.He taught that God cannot help creating and that the world is the manifestation of his nature.When I asked how, if the world was a manifestation of the nature of a perfect being, it should be so hateful that the only reasonable aim man can set before him is to liberate himself from its bondage, Shri Ganesha answered that the satisfactions of the world are transitory and that only the Infinite gives enduring happiness.But endless duration makes good no better, nor white any whiter.If the rose at noon has lost the beauty it had at dawn, the beauty it had then was real.Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy.We can none of us step into the same river twice, but the river flows on and the other river we step into is cool and refreshing too.
“若是以為印度人將這個(gè)世界視為幻覺，那就大錯(cuò)特錯(cuò)了。這并非他們的觀點(diǎn)。他們只是說，世界之真實(shí)與無限”之真實(shí)在意思上是不同的。所謂摩耶，僅僅是狂熱的思想家們虛構(gòu)出來的，借此解釋‘無窮’怎樣創(chuàng)造‘有窮’?！喕亍侵T多學(xué)說中最具智慧的一種，斷定這是永遠(yuǎn)也解決不了的謎團(tuán)。婆羅門是真我、極樂和智慧，是亙古不變的，與天地共存，無所缺、無所求，有為也無為，是完善至美的。既然如此，為什么還要?jiǎng)?chuàng)造世界呢？這就難以解答了。如果你提出這個(gè)問題，他們一般會(huì)回答，‘無限’創(chuàng)造世界只是隨意而為之，并沒有任何目的。可是，當(dāng)你想到洪水和饑饉，想到地震和颶風(fēng)，想到折磨人體的一切疾病，你的正義感就會(huì)油然而生，為這許多駭人聽聞的災(zāi)難被隨意創(chuàng)造出來而感到憤慨。希瑞·格涅沙有一副大慈大悲的心腸，不相信這樣的學(xué)說。他認(rèn)為這個(gè)世界是‘無限’的表現(xiàn)形式，充滿了‘完美’。他教導(dǎo)我們說，天神造物是一種責(zé)任，而這個(gè)世界體現(xiàn)了天神慈悲的心性。我問道：既然這個(gè)世界體現(xiàn)的是十全十美天神的慈悲心性，為什么卻如此可恨——非得設(shè)定目標(biāo)，要眾生擺脫它的束縛才能跳出苦海？希瑞·格涅沙回答，塵世間的完滿都是暫時(shí)的，只有達(dá)到‘無窮’的境界，才可獲得持久的幸福。不過，時(shí)間的無窮并不能改變事物的本質(zhì)，不能使善更加善，也不能使白顏色更加白；如果說玫瑰花在中午不再嬌艷，而它的美在清晨時(shí)卻是真實(shí)的。世間萬物沒有一樣是永恒的，只有蠢人才會(huì)要求事物永不消亡，而更蠢的做法則是放著眼前的歡樂不去享受。如果說變化是事物的本性，明智之舉則是將其視為哲學(xué)的一種命題。誰也不會(huì)在同一條河里反復(fù)涉水，而這條河的河水依然潺潺流淌，走到另外一條河，那兒的河水同樣清涼沁人。

“The Aryans when they first came down into India saw that the world we know is but an appearance of the world we know not；but they welcomed it as gracious and beautiful；it was only centuries later, when the exhaustion of conquest, when the debilitating climate had sapped their vitality so that they became a prey to invading hordes, that theysaw only evil in life and craved for liberation from its return. But why should we of the West, we Americans especially, be daunted by decay and death, hunger and thirst, sickness, old age, grief, and delusion?The spirit of life is strong in us.I felt more alive then, as I sat in my log cabin smoking my pipe, than I had ever felt before.I felt in myself an energy that cried out to be expended.It was not for me to leave the world and retire to a cloister, but to live in the world and love the objects of the world, not indeed for themselves, but for the Infinite that is in them.If in those moments of ecstasy I had indeed been one with the Absolute, then, if what they said was true, nothing could touch me and when I had worked out the karma of my present life I should return no more.The thought filled me with dismay.I wanted to live again and again.I was willing to accept every sort of life, no matter what its pain and sorrow；I felt that only life after life, life after life could satisfy my eagerness, my vigour, and my curiosity.
雅利安人初來印度的時(shí)候，把人類已知的世界僅僅看作未知世界的一種表象，但他們喜歡這個(gè)世界，覺得它風(fēng)光旖旎、絢麗多彩。只是經(jīng)過了若干世紀(jì)之后，當(dāng)征伐的勞累和耗人的氣候消磨掉他們的活力，使得他們成為異族大舉入侵的俎上肉時(shí)，他們方才看到了人生的丑惡一面，并且渴望從輪回中解脫出來。不過，咱們西方人，尤其是美國人，為什么要畏首畏尾，害怕什么衰朽、死亡、饑渴、疾病、衰老、悲傷和幻象呢？咱們充滿了旺盛的生命力。那時(shí)，我坐在自己的小木屋里抽著煙斗，覺得渾身精力充沛，比以往任何時(shí)候都精神抖擻，體內(nèi)有一種力量急切地要爆發(fā)出來。要我遠(yuǎn)離塵世，過一種與世隔絕的生活，顯然是不行的。相反，我要置身于塵世之中，欣賞世間的萬物——其實(shí)并非欣賞事物的表象，而是欣賞其內(nèi)含的‘無窮’。假如在那我曾經(jīng)歷過的極樂時(shí)刻，我果真與‘無限’融為了一體，他們所言不虛，我已脫離了輪回之苦，今世的孽債已經(jīng)還清，那我就不回到塵世來了。這種念頭叫我感到沮喪。其實(shí)，我渴望一次次地投生，愿意接受各種各樣的生活，不管是體驗(yàn)痛苦還是憂傷。我覺得只有一次接一次地投生，才能實(shí)現(xiàn)我的愿望，傾注我的活力，滿足我的好奇之心。

“Next morning I started down the mountain and the day after arrived at the Ashrama. Shri Ganesha was surprised to see me in European clothes.I'd put them on at the forestry officer's bungalow when I started uphill because it was colder there and hadn't thought to change them.
第二天早上，我動(dòng)身下山，于次日來到了靜修處。希瑞·格涅沙見我一身西裝，不由覺得奇怪。這身衣服是我上山時(shí)在森林管理員那個(gè)小屋里換上的，因?yàn)樯缴侠洌律綍r(shí)也沒有想起要換掉。

“‘I've come to bid you farewell, master，'I said.‘I am going back to my own people.'
‘師傅，我是來告別的，’我說，‘我打算回家鄉(xiāng)去了。’

“He did not speak. He was sitting, as ever, cross-legged on the tiger skin on the dais.A stick of incense burnt in the brazier before it and scented the air with its faint fragrance.He was alone as he had been on the first day I saw him.He looked at me with an intensity so piercing that I had the impression he saw into the deepest recesses of my being.I know he knew what had happened.
他沒吱聲，仍和平時(shí)一樣盤膝坐在虎皮臺(tái)子上，面前的香爐里燃著一炷香，使得空氣里香氣氤氳。跟頭一天見面時(shí)一樣，他依然是獨(dú)自一人在修行。他目不轉(zhuǎn)睛地盯著我看，目光犀利，似乎能看透我的五臟六腑。我知道，他對(duì)一切都已心中有數(shù)。

“‘It is well，'he said.‘You have been gone long enough.'
‘這樣好，’他說，‘你離家太久了。’

“I went down on my knees and he gave me his blessing. When I rose to my feet my eyes were filled with tears.He was a man of noble and saintly character.I shall always look upon it as a privilege to have known him.I said good-bye to the devotees.Some had been there for years；some had come after me.I left my few belongings and my books, thinking they might be useful to someone, and with my knapsack on my back, in the same old slacks and brown coat I had arrived in, a battered topee on my head, I trudged back to the town.A week later I boarded a ship at Bombay and landed at Marseilles.”
“我跪倒在地，接受了他的賜福，再站起來時(shí)，早已熱淚盈眶。他是一個(gè)高尚、圣潔的人，我將永遠(yuǎn)以認(rèn)識(shí)他為榮。之后，我和靜修者們依依惜別——他們中有些已靜修多年，有些則是在我之后來的。我把自己的幾件衣物和書籍留下，覺得說不定對(duì)他們有用，然后背上行囊，身著我來時(shí)穿的舊長褲和棕色上衣，頭上扣一頂破破爛爛的遮陽帽，步行回到鎮(zhèn)上。一星期后，在孟買搭上一條船，在馬賽上了岸?！?/p>

Silence fell upon us as we pursued our separate reflections；but, tired though I was, there was one more point which I very much wanted to put to him, and it was I who finally spoke.
我們兩人沉默了，各自都陷入遐思冥想。盡管我已非常疲倦，但心里仍有謎團(tuán)，需要問個(gè)清楚，于是便開了口。

“Larry, old boy，”I said，“this long quest of yours started with the problem of evil. It was the problem of evil that urged you on.You've said nothing all this time to indicate that you've reached even a tentative solution of it.”
“拉里老弟，”我說，“你多年來孜孜以求，起初就是為了探清惡的源頭。正是這一命題，才催促你不斷前行。你剛才講了半天，卻只字未提是否已找到答案，哪怕是不確定的答案也可以?！?/p>

“It may be that there is no solution or it may be that I'm not clever enough to find it. Ramakrishna looked upon the world as the sport of God.‘It is like a game，'he said.‘In this game there are joy and sorrow, virtue and vice, knowledge and ignorance, good and evil.The game cannot continue if sin and suffering are altogether eliminated from the creation.'I would reject that with all my strength.The best I can suggest is that when the Absolute manifested itself in the world evil was the natural correlation of good.You could never have had the stupendous beauty of the Himalayas without the unimaginable horror of a convulsion of the earth's crust.The Chinese crafts-man who makes a vase in what they call eggshell porcelain can give it a lovely shape, ornament it with a beautiful design, stain it a ravishing colour, and give it a perfect glaze, but from its very nature he can't make it anything but fragile.If you drop it on the floor it will break into a dozen fragments.Isn’t it possible in the same way that the values we cherish in the world can only exist in combination with evil?”
“也許這一命題壓根就沒有答案，或者我不夠聰明，沒有找到答案。羅摩克里希納把創(chuàng)造世界看作是天神的一種游戲。他說：‘這就猶如玩游戲，其中有喜也有憂，有美德也有失德，有智慧也有愚昧，有善也有惡。如果將罪惡和痛苦去除掉，游戲便無法再進(jìn)行下去了?！瘜?duì)這一觀點(diǎn)，我持堅(jiān)決反對(duì)的看法。充其量也只能說，‘無限’在這個(gè)世界上的表現(xiàn)形式是善與惡并存。沒有地殼變化那種叫人無法想象的可怕的災(zāi)難，你就不可能欣賞到喜馬拉雅山的壯麗景色。中國燒瓷的匠人能夠把花瓶燒得像蛋殼一樣薄，造型優(yōu)美，圖案漂亮，色彩鮮艷奪目，上的釉精致美觀，但就其本質(zhì)而言，它是易碎的，掉到地上就會(huì)成為許多碎片。同樣的道理，我們?cè)谶@個(gè)世界上所珍視的一切美好事物都是與丑惡的事物并存的，你說是不是呢？”

“It's an ingenious notion, Larry. I don't think it's very satisfactory.”
“這是一種獨(dú)到的見解，拉里。但我覺得這樣的回答難以叫人滿意?！?/p>

“Neither do I，”he smiled.“The best to be said for it is that when you've come to the conclusion that something is inevitable all you can do is to make the best of it.”
“我也不滿意?！彼α诵φf，“當(dāng)你斷定必須發(fā)表看法時(shí)，那就盡其力而為之，這就是我的解釋?！?/p>

“What are your plans now?”
“你現(xiàn)在有什么打算？”

“I've got a job of work to finish here and then I shall go back to America.”
“眼前有件事需要了結(jié)，之后便回美國去?！?/p>

“What to do?”
“回去干什么？”

“Live.”
“過日子唄?！?/p>

“How?”
“怎么個(gè)過法？”

He answered very coolly, but with an impish twinkle in his eyes, for he knew very well how little I expected such a reply.
他回答時(shí)語氣極其冷靜，但眼睛卻閃出一絲頑皮的光，因?yàn)樗雷约旱幕卮饡?huì)叫我意想不到。

“With calmness, forbearance, compassion, selflessness, and continence.”
“不急不躁，寬宏大度，大慈大悲，無私無欲，不近女色?！?/p>

“A tall order，”I said.“And why continence?you're a young man；is it wise to attempt to suppress what with hunger is the strongest instinct of the human animal?”
“高標(biāo)準(zhǔn)！”我說，“那么，為什么要不近女色呢？你還年輕，女色和吃飯一樣是人這個(gè)動(dòng)物最強(qiáng)的本能，你這樣抑制它是否明智呢？”

“I am in the fortunate position that sexual indulgence with me has been a pleasure rather than a need. I know by personal experience that in nothing are the wise men of India more dead right than in their contention that chastity intensely enhances the power of the spirit.”
“所幸的是對(duì)我來說，接近女色只是尋歡作樂，而不是出于生理需要。根據(jù)我個(gè)人的經(jīng)驗(yàn)，印度的那些哲人主張不近女色可以大大增強(qiáng)精神的力量，這話說得再正確不過了?！?/p>

“I should have thought that wisdom consisted in striking a balance between the claims of the body and the claims of the spirit.”
“我倒覺得明智之舉是在肉體需要和精神需要之間保持一種平衡?！?/p>

“That is just what the Indians maintain that we in the West haven't done. They think that we with our countless inventions, with our factories and machines and all they produce, have sought happiness in material things, but that happiness rests not in them, but in spiritual things.And they think the way we have chosen leads to destruction.”
“印度人覺得這恰恰是西方人所沒有做到的。他們認(rèn)為，西方人發(fā)明創(chuàng)造無數(shù)，又是建工廠又是造機(jī)器，創(chuàng)造了大量財(cái)富，總想把幸福建筑在物質(zhì)上，豈不知幸福與否并非由物質(zhì)決定，而取決于精神。他們認(rèn)為西方人選擇的道路最終會(huì)導(dǎo)致毀滅?！?/p>

“And are you under the impression that America is a suitable place to practise the particular virtues you mentioned?”
“你認(rèn)為要實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的精神追求，美國是理想之地嗎？”

“I don't see why not. You Europeans know nothing about America.Because we amass large fortunes you think we care for nothing but money.We care nothing for it；the moment we have it we spend it, sometimes well, sometimes ill, but we spend it.Money is nothing to us；it's merely the symbol of success.We are the greatest idealists in the world；I happen to think that we've set our ideal on the wrong objects；I happen to think that the greatest ideal man can set before himself is self-perfection.”
“為什么不是？你們歐洲人一點(diǎn)不了解美國。你們以為我們積聚了大量的財(cái)富便鉆進(jìn)了錢眼里，豈不知我們視金錢如糞土，一有錢就花掉，有時(shí)花得好，有時(shí)花得糟，但不做守財(cái)奴。金錢對(duì)我們算不上什么，只是一種成功的象征。我們是天下最地道的理想主義者，也許在某些方面將理想放在錯(cuò)誤的目標(biāo)上罷了。依我之見，一個(gè)人最高的理想應(yīng)該是自我完善?！?/p>

“It's a noble one, Larry.”
“這不失為一種崇高的理想，拉里。”

“Isn't it worth while to try to live up to it?”
“是不是值得為實(shí)現(xiàn)這一理想而努力呢？”

“But can you for a moment imagine that you, one man, can have any effect on such a restless, busy, lawless, intensely individualistic people as the people of America?You might as well try to hold back the waters of the Mississippi with your bare hands.”
“可你想過沒有，以你一己之力，對(duì)焦躁不安、忙忙碌碌、目無法紀(jì)、極端個(gè)人化的美利堅(jiān)民族，會(huì)產(chǎn)生什么影響呢？這無異于妄想要赤手空拳阻擋住滔滔的密西西比河河水?！?/p>

“I can try. It was one man who invented the wheel.It was one man who discovered the law of gravitation.Nothing that happens is without effect.If you throw a stone in a pond the universe isn't quite the same as it was before.It's a mistake to think that those holy men of India lead useless lives.They are a shining light in the darkness.They represent an ideal that is a refreshment to their fellows；the common run may never attain it, but they respect it and it affects their lives for good.When a man becomes pure and perfect the influence of his character spreads so that they who seek truth are naturally drawn to him.It may be that if I lead the life I've planned for myself it may affect others；the effect may be no greater than the ripple caused by a stone thrown in a pond, but one ripple causes another, and that one a third；it's just possible that a few people will see that my way of life offers happiness and peace, and that they in their turn will teach what they have learnt to others.”
“我可以試試嘛。車輪的發(fā)明是靠一己之力完成的，萬有引力的發(fā)現(xiàn)也靠的是一己之力。所有的努力都會(huì)產(chǎn)生一定的影響。哪怕你把一粒石子投入池中，宇宙也會(huì)產(chǎn)生一點(diǎn)變化的。如果認(rèn)為印度的那些圣人過的是無益于眾生的日子，那就錯(cuò)了。他們宛若黑暗里的明燈，代表的是一種理想，能滋潤眾生的心靈。普通人可能永遠(yuǎn)也無法企及，但他們心懷崇敬之感，從而終身受益。一個(gè)人一旦變得純潔、完美，就會(huì)產(chǎn)生廣泛的影響，而那些追求真理的人自然而然會(huì)受到他的吸引。也許，如果我按照自己的規(guī)劃去生活，便能對(duì)他人產(chǎn)生影響。這種影響也許就跟投石入池一樣，激起了一圈漣漪，沒什么大不了的，但第一圈漣漪會(huì)引起第二圈漣漪，第二圈漣漪又會(huì)引起第三圈漣漪。很可能會(huì)有一些人從我的生活方式中學(xué)到了滿足和平靜，他們就會(huì)將其傳授給其他人，于是一傳十，十傳百?！?/p>

“I wonder if you have any idea what you're up against, Larry. You know, the Philistines have long since discarded the rack and stake as a means of suppressing the opinions they feared：they've discovered a much more deadly weapon of destruction-the wisecrack.”
“你可知道你在跟什么人作對(duì)嗎，拉里？要知道，那些庸人曾經(jīng)用嚴(yán)刑拷打和火刑鎮(zhèn)壓令他們感到害怕的思想家，雖然那些刑罰早已放棄不用了，現(xiàn)在卻發(fā)明了一種更為致命的毀滅性武器——潑臟水?！?/p>

“I'm a pretty tough guy，”smiled Larry.
“我可是個(gè)非常堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的人?！崩镄α诵φf。

“Well, all I can say is that it's damned lucky for you that you have a private income.”
“好吧，我只能說你有點(diǎn)進(jìn)項(xiàng)算你的福氣。”

“It's been of great use to me. Except for that I shouldn't have been able to do all I've done.But my apprenticeship is over.From now on it can only be a burden to me.I shall rid myself of it.”
“這筆錢幫了我不小的忙。要是沒有它，我就不可能了結(jié)我的心愿。不過，我的學(xué)徒期現(xiàn)已結(jié)束，它對(duì)我就只能是負(fù)擔(dān)了，我將棄之不用。”

“That would be very unwise. The only thing that may make the kind of life you propose possible is financial independence.”
“這可是極其非理性的打算。你想過閑云野鶴般的生活，就必須在物質(zhì)上不依賴別人?！?/p>

“On the contrary, financial independence would make the life I propose meaningless.”
“恰恰相反，在物質(zhì)上不依賴別人，會(huì)讓那樣的生活變得毫無意義?！?/p>

I couldn't restrain a gesture of impatience.
我實(shí)在按捺不住，不由露出了不耐煩的神色。

“It may be all very well for the wandering mendicant in India；he can sleep under a tree and the pious are willing enough to acquire merit by filling his begging-bowl with food. But the American climate is far from suitable for sleeping out in the open, and though I don't pretend to know much about America, I do know that if there's one thing your countrymen are agreed upon it is that if you want to eat you must work.My poor Larry, you'd be sent to the workhouse as a vagrant before ever you got into your stride.”
“對(duì)于印度的那些浪跡天涯的托缽僧而言，這倒沒有什么，他們可以露宿于樹下，而善男信女們?yōu)榱朔e德，會(huì)把他們化緣的缽子裝滿食物?？墒?，美國的氣候?qū)β端奘呛懿贿m宜的，雖然我不敢說自己非常了解美國，但有一點(diǎn)我是知道的——你們的國人有一種共識(shí)：不勞動(dòng)者不得食?？蓱z的拉里呀，恐怕不等你踏上旅途，就會(huì)被人當(dāng)作流浪漢抓到教養(yǎng)院去的?！?/p>

He laughed.
他聽了大笑。

“I know. One must adapt oneself to one's environment and of course I'd work.When I get to America I shall try to get a job in a garage.I'm a pretty good mechanic and I don't think it ought to be difficult.”
“這我知道。入鄉(xiāng)隨俗嘛，我當(dāng)然是要?jiǎng)趧?dòng)的。到了美國，我將想辦法在汽車修配廠找個(gè)活干。我是個(gè)相當(dāng)棒的機(jī)修工，想來不會(huì)有什么困難的?！?/p>

“Wouldn't you then be wasting energy that might be more usefully employed in other ways?”
“這是不是有點(diǎn)大材小用，白白浪費(fèi)精力呢？”

“I like manual labour. Whenever I've got waterlogged with study I've taken a spell of it and found it spiritually invigorating.I remember reading a biography of Spinoza and thinking how silly the author was to look upon it as a terrible hardship that in order to earn his scanty living Spinoza had to polish lenses.I'm sure it was a help to his intellectual activity, if only because it diverted his attention for a while from the hard work of speculation.My mind is free when I'm washing a car or tinkering with a carburettor and when the job's done I have the pleasant sensation of having accomplished something.Naturally I wouldn’t want to stay in a garage indefinitely.It’s many years since I was in America and I must learn it afresh.I shall try to get work as a truck driver.In that way I should be able to travel from end to end of the country.”
“我喜歡干體力活。每當(dāng)書看不下去的時(shí)候，我就干干體力活，可以借此振奮精神。記得有一次讀斯賓諾莎的傳記，了解到他為了糊口曾經(jīng)為人打磨鏡片，而那個(gè)傳記作家竟視其為可怕的磨難，豈不愚蠢。我敢說，打磨鏡片有助于緩解他的智力活動(dòng)，最起碼可以轉(zhuǎn)移他的注意力，使得他暫停勞神的哲學(xué)思考。沖洗汽車或者修理汽化器時(shí)，我的大腦是放松的；把活干完，我會(huì)心情愉快，有一種成就感。當(dāng)然，我可不是想干一輩子的修理工。離開美國已有多年，我得重新認(rèn)識(shí)它。我將設(shè)法找一個(gè)卡車司機(jī)的工作。開卡車，我能四處跑，把美國跑個(gè)遍?！?/p>

“You've forgotten perhaps the most important use of money. It saves time.Life is so short, and there's so much to do, one can't afford to waste a minute；and just think how much you waste, for instance, in walking from place to place instead of going by bus and in going by bus instead of by taxi.”
“也許，你把金錢的一個(gè)最重要的用途給忘了——它可以節(jié)省時(shí)間。生命苦短，百事紛繁，必須只爭朝夕。舉例來說，你徒步走到哪個(gè)地方去，不知會(huì)浪費(fèi)多少時(shí)間。在此，坐公共汽車勝似徒步，而搭乘出租車又勝似坐公共汽車?！?/p>

Larry smiled.
拉里嘿嘿一笑。

“True enough and I hadn't thought of it, but I could cope with that difficulty by having my own taxi.”
“此話不假，我卻沒有想到這一點(diǎn)。不過，我可以擁有自己的出租車，這一問題便迎刃而解了?！?/p>

“What d'you mean by that?”
“你這話是什么意思？”

“Eventually I shall settle in New York, among other reasons because of its libraries；I can live on very little, I don't mind where I sleep and I'm quite satisfied with one meal a day；by the time I've seen all I want to of America I should be able to have saved enough to buy a taxi and become a taxi driver.”
“最終，我將在紐約定居，不為別的，只因?yàn)槟莾簣D書館多。我所需的生活費(fèi)用不多，在何處過夜全不在乎，每日一餐便可果腹。把要看的地方全都去過之后，我將會(huì)攢下一筆錢買輛出租車，當(dāng)一名出租車司機(jī)。”

“You ought to shut up, Larry. You're as crazy as a loon.”
“真該把你關(guān)起來，拉里。你簡直就是個(gè)瘋子?！?/p>

“Not at all. I'm very sensible and practical.As an owner-driver I would need to work only for as many hours as would provide for my board and lodging and for the depreciation on the car.The rest of my time I could devote to other work and if I wanted to go anywhere in a hurry I could always go in my taxi.”
“一點(diǎn)不瘋，而是很理智，也很實(shí)際。有自己的出租車，我開車掙的錢只要夠食宿和汽車的折舊費(fèi)就行了。其余的時(shí)間可以用在別處。到哪兒有急事，就開自己的車去。”

“But, Larry, a taxi is just as much of a possession as a government bond，”I said, to tease him.“As an owner-driver you'd be a capitalist.”
“不過，拉里，汽車跟政府公債一樣也是財(cái)產(chǎn)喲，”我逗趣地說，“有輛汽車，你豈不成資本家了?！?/p>

He laughed.
他聽了哈哈一笑。

“No. My taxi would be merely the instrument of my labour.It would be an equivalent to the staff and the begging-bowl of the wandering mendicant.”
“差矣。我的出租汽車只不過是我的勞動(dòng)工具而已，相當(dāng)于托缽僧的打狗棍和化緣缽?！?/p>

On this note of banter our conversation ended. I had noticed for some time that people were coming into the café with greater frequency.One man in evening dress sat down not far from us and ordered himself a substantial breakfast.He had the tired but satisfied mien of one who looks back with complacency upon a night of amorous dalliance.A few old gentlemen, early risers because old age needs little sleep, were drinking their café au lait with deliberation while through thick-lensed spectacles they read the morning paper.Younger men, some of them neat and spruce, others in threadbare coats, hurried in to devour a roll and swallow a cup of coffee on their way to a shop or an office.An old crone entered with a pile of newspapers and went round offering them for sale, vainly as far as I could see, at the various tables.I looked out of the great plate glass windows and saw that it was broad daylight.A minute or two later the electric light was turned off except at the rear of the huge restaurant.I looked at my watch.It was past seveno’clock.
這一番打趣之后，我們的談話中止了。我早已留意到來餐館進(jìn)餐的顧客越來越多。一個(gè)身穿晚禮服的男客在離我們不遠(yuǎn)的位子坐下，點(diǎn)了一份豐盛的早餐。他看上去很疲倦，卻心滿意足，猜得到他一夜風(fēng)流，此刻仍余興未消。幾位老者，由于年紀(jì)大睡覺少，所以起得早，一邊不慌不忙喝著牛奶咖啡，一邊透過厚厚的鏡片讀著晨報(bào)。年輕的食客，有的衣冠楚楚，有的不修邊幅，狼吞虎咽吃一個(gè)面包，急急忙忙吞幾口咖啡，便匆匆趕往商店或辦公室上班去了。一個(gè)干癟老太婆拿了一捆報(bào)紙進(jìn)來，走到各個(gè)餐桌前兜售，但看上去好像一份也沒賣掉。從碩大的玻璃窗望去，發(fā)現(xiàn)天已大亮。一兩分鐘后，所有的電燈都熄滅了，只有這家大餐館后堂的燈仍開著。我看了看表——已經(jīng)過七點(diǎn)鐘了。

“What about a spot of breakfast?”I said.
“來點(diǎn)早飯?jiān)趺礃?？”我說。

We had croissants, all crisp and hot from the baker's, and café au lait.I was tired and listless, and felt certain I looked like the wrath of God, but Larry seemed as fresh as ever.His eyes were shining, there wasn’t a line on his smooth face, and he didn’t look a day more than twenty-five.The coffee revived me.
我們吃了些羊角面包，剛烤出來的，又熱又脆，還喝了點(diǎn)牛奶咖啡。我疲倦不堪，無精打采的，樣子一定很難看。拉里卻精神抖擻，神采奕奕，光滑的臉上一道皺紋也沒有，看上去頂多只有二十五歲。一杯咖啡落肚，我才有了幾分精神頭。

“Will you allow me to give you a piece of advice, Larry?It's not a thing I give often.”
“愿不愿聽我進(jìn)幾句忠言，拉里？我可是不經(jīng)常給人提忠告的。”

“It's not a thing I take often，”he answered with a grin.
“我也是不經(jīng)常接受別人的忠告的。”他咧嘴一笑，回答道。

“Will you think very carefully before you dispossess yourself of your very small fortune?When it's gone, it's gone for ever. A time may come when you'll want money very badly, either for yourself or for somebody else, and then you'll bitterly regret that you were such a fool.”
“至于處理掉你那一丁點(diǎn)財(cái)產(chǎn)，你能不能三思而后行？一旦脫手，就永遠(yuǎn)回不來了。萬一你自己或別人急需要用錢，那時(shí)你將追悔莫及，怪自己做了件蠢事?！?/p>

There was a glint of mockery in his eyes as he answered, but it was devoid of malice.
他回話時(shí)，眼睛里有一絲譏笑的神情，但那譏笑沒有絲毫的惡意。

“You attach more importance to money than I do.”
“相比較而言，你可是比我看重金錢?！?/p>

“I can well believe it，”I answered tartly.“You see, you've always had it and I haven't. It's given me what I value almost more than anything else in life-independence.You can't think what a comfort it's been to me to think that if I wanted to I could tell anyone in the world to go to hell.”
“對(duì)此我不否認(rèn)?！蔽姨孤实鼗卮鹫f，“要知道，你口袋里老有錢花，我卻不然。有錢就不用求人，而這正是我最為珍視的。你哪里懂得，最叫我感到開心的就是想罵誰，叫他見鬼去，那我就罵誰。”

“But I don't want to tell anyone in the world to go to hell, and if I did the lack of a bank balance wouldn't prevent me. You see, money to you means freedom；to me it means bondage.”
“我并不想罵任何人，不想讓任何人見鬼去。即便我想罵人，也不會(huì)因?yàn)殂y行里沒有存款就罵不成。這樣說吧，金錢對(duì)你意味著自由，對(duì)我則是束縛?！?/p>

“You're an obstinate brute, Larry.”
“你真是塊臭硬臭硬的頑石，拉里?！?/p>

“I know. I can't help it.But in any case I have plenty of time to change my mind if I want to.I'm not going back to America till next spring.My friend Auguste Cottet, the painter, has lent me a cottage at Sanary and I'm going to spend the winter there.”
“慚愧，慚愧，生性如此。不過，不管怎么樣，時(shí)間還早著呢，如果要改變主意，還來得及。要說回美國，得等到來年春天。我的畫家朋友奧古斯特·科迪特把薩納里的一座度假屋借給了我，我打算在那邊過冬。”

Sanary is an unpretentious seaside resort on the Riviera, between Bandol and Toulon, and it is frequented by artists and writers who do not care for the garish mummery of St. Tropez.
薩納里是里維埃拉一個(gè)名不見經(jīng)傳的海濱度假地，位于邦多勒和土倫之間。畫家和作家們對(duì)圣特羅佩斯花里胡哨的環(huán)境看不上眼，就會(huì)跑到這兒來休憩。

“You'll like it if you don't mind it's being as dull as ditchwater.”
“那地方就像一潭死水般缺乏生氣，如果你愿去，那你就去吧。”

“I have work to do. I've collected a lot of material and I'm going to write a book.”
“我去那兒是有事做的。我收集了許多資料，準(zhǔn)備寫本書?！?/p>

“What's it about?”
“什么內(nèi)容？”

“You'll see when it comes out，”he smiled.
“出版后你就知道了?！彼α诵φf。

“If you'd like to send it to me when it's finished I think I can get it published for you.”
“寫完后，如果你愿意把書稿寄給我，我可以找人為你出版。”

“You needn't bother about that. I have some American friends who run a small press in Paris and I've arranged with them to print it for me.”
“不用勞駕你了。我有幾個(gè)美國朋友在巴黎辦了一家小型出版社，已經(jīng)談妥為我出版此書?！?/p>

“But you can't expect a book brought out like that to have any sale and you won't get any reviews.”
“以這種途徑出版書，別指望銷路好，也別指望有誰給你寫書評(píng)。”

“I don't care if it's reviewed and I don't expect it to sell. I'm only printing enough copies to send to my friends in India and the few people I know in France who might be interested in it.It's of no particular importance.I’m only writing it to get all that material out of the way, and I’m publishing it because I think you can only tell what a thing’s like when you see it in print.”
“寫不寫書評(píng)我不在乎，也不指望銷路好。印幾本夠送人就行了——我要寄給印度的朋友以及法國的幾個(gè)熟人，他們也許會(huì)感興趣的。此書也沒有什么大的價(jià)值。我寫書，只是想給手頭的那些材料找個(gè)用途，出版書則是覺得應(yīng)該把心里的想法變?yōu)榘准埡谧帧！?/p>

“I see the point of both those reasons.”
“這兩條理由我都理解?！?/p>

We had finished our breakfast by now and I called the waiter for the bill. When it came I passed it over to Larry.
說話間，我們已吃完了早餐。我喊侍者過來結(jié)賬。賬單送來時(shí)，我把它遞給了拉里。

“If you're going to chuck your money down the drain you can damn well pay for my breakfast.”
“既然你打算把你的錢扔進(jìn)下水道，那就不妨先替我把飯錢付了吧?！?/p>

He laughed and paid. I was stiff from sitting so long and as we walked out of the restaurant my sides ached.It was good to get into the fresh clean air of the autumn morning.The sky was blue, and the Avenue de Clichy, a sordid thoroughfare by night, had a mild jauntiness, like a painted, haggard woman walking with a girl's springy step, that was not displeasing.I signalled a passing taxi.
他大笑一聲，把錢付了。由于坐的時(shí)間長，我的身子都僵了。走出餐館時(shí)，只覺得腰發(fā)酸。秋天早晨的空氣潔凈、新鮮，令人神清氣爽。天空湛藍(lán)，夜間顯得邋里邋遢的克利希大街此時(shí)有了一些活潑的生氣，就像是一個(gè)涂脂抹粉的憔悴婦人換上了姑娘家輕快的腳步在走路，看了并不讓人感到討厭。我向一輛駛過的出租車招了招手。

“Can I give you a lift?”I asked Larry.
“送你回住處怎么樣？”我問拉里。

“No. I shall walk down to the Seine and have a swim at one of the baths, then I must go to the Bibliothéque, I’vegot some research to do there.”
“不用了。我到塞納河邊走走，然后找個(gè)浴場(chǎng)游游泳，再進(jìn)圖書館里查資料?！?/p>

We shook hands and I watched him cross the road with his loose, long-legged stride. I, being made of stuff less stern, stepped into a taxi and returned to my hotel.When I got into my sitting-room I noticed that it was after eight.
跟他握了握手，然后我目送他邁開長腿悠閑地走過了馬路。我可不像他是個(gè)鐵打的人，于是就坐上出租車，回到了我的旅館。進(jìn)了客廳，我發(fā)現(xiàn)已經(jīng)八點(diǎn)多了。

“This is a nice hour for an elderly gentleman to get home，”I remarked disapprovingly to the nude lady（under a glass case）who had since the year 1813 been lying on top of the clock in what I should have thought was a position of extreme discomfort.
“一個(gè)上了年紀(jì)的人真不該這個(gè)時(shí)候才回家?！蔽覜_著鐘表玻璃罩里的裸體女子自嘲地說了一聲——那女子自從一八一三年起就側(cè)臥在鐘表的頂端，姿勢(shì)在我看來極其不舒服。

She continued to look at her gilt bronze face in a gilt bronze mirror, and all the clock said was：tick, tick. I turned on a hot bath.When I had lain in it till it was tepid, I dried myself, swallowed a sleeping-tablet, and taking to bed with me Valéry’s Le Cimetière Marin, which happened to be on the night table, read till I fell asleep.
那女子眼睛盯著一面鍍金銅鏡在照鏡子，望著鏡子中她的那張鍍金的銅臉。那種表一個(gè)勁地發(fā)出嘀嗒、嘀嗒的響聲。我放了一浴盆熱水開始泡澡，一直泡到水漸漸變溫，才出來把身子擦干，然后吞了片安眠藥。接下來，我拿起放在床頭柜上的那本瓦勒里寫的《海濱墓園》，躺到了床上，看看看著便昏然睡著了。