雙語·《刀鋒》 第六章 六

CHAPTER SIX 6
第六章 六

The waiter who had served us was going off duty and to get his tip presented the bill. We paid and ordered coffee.
伺候我們這張桌子的侍者要下班，急于拿到小費，便將賬單送了過來。我們付了錢，又要了兩杯咖啡。

“Well?”I said.
“后來怎么樣了？”我問道。

I felt that Larry was in the mood to talk and I knew that I was in the mood to listen.
我覺得拉里有意要說，而我有心想聽。

“Aren't I boring you?”
“你沒有聽煩嗎？”

“No.”
“沒有?！?/p>

“Well, we got to Bombay. The ship was stopping there for three days to give the tourists a chance to see the sights and make excursions.On the third day I got the afternoon off and went ashore.I walked about for a while, looking at the crowd：what a conglomeration！Chinese, Mohammedans, Hindus, Tamils as black as your hat；and those great humped bullocks with their long horns that draw the carts！Then I went to Elephanta to see the caves.An Indian had joined us at Alexandria for the passage to Bombay and the tourists were rather sniffy about him.He was a fat little man with a brown round face and he wore a thick tweed suit of black and green check and a clerical collar.I was having a breath of air on deck one night and he came up and spoke to me.I didn't want to talk to anyone just then, I wanted to be alone；he asked me a lot of questions and I'm afraid I was rather short with him.Anyhow I told him I was a student working my passage back to America.
后來，我們的船去了孟買，在那兒停留三天，讓旅客們上岸游覽風(fēng)光或者做短途旅行。第三天下午，我不值班，于是上岸瞎轉(zhuǎn)悠，東瞧瞧西看看。那兒人山人海，什么人都有——中國人、伊斯蘭教徒、印度教徒以及膚色像你的帽子一樣黑的泰米爾人。身軀龐大的公牛拉著車行走在大街上，一個個駝著背，頭上的犄角老長！我還去了一趟象島，參觀了那兒的石窟。輪船行駛到亞歷山大城的時候，曾有一個印度人上了船，是到孟買去的。乘客們都有些瞧不起他。他是個矮胖子，圓臉龐，棕色皮膚，穿一套黑綠兩色格子的厚花呢衣服，圍一條牧師的領(lǐng)子。有天晚上，我來到甲板上想透透氣，他走過來跟我搭話。當(dāng)時，我不想和任何人說話，只想自己待著。他連珠炮似的問了我一大堆問題，我卻愛答不理。我告訴他，說我是個學(xué)生，來船上打工，掙點盤纏回美國去。

“‘You should stop off in India，'he said.‘The East has more to teach the West than the West conceives.'
‘你應(yīng)該在印度待一待，’他說，‘西方有許多需要向東方學(xué)習(xí)的東西，多得超出了西方人的想象?！?/p>

“‘Oh yes?'I said.
‘是嗎？’我說。

“‘At any rate，'he went on，‘be sure you go and see the caves at Elephanta. You'll never regret it.'”Larry interrupted himself to ask me a question.“Have you ever been to India?”
“‘不管怎樣，’他繼續(xù)說道，‘象島的石窟你是必須要去看的。你一定會不虛此行?！?拉里講到此處，停下來問了我一個問題： “你去過印度嗎？”

“Never.”
“沒去過。”

“Well, I was looking at the colossal image with its three heads which is the great sight at Elephanta and wondering what it was all about when I heard someone behind me say：‘I see you've taken my advice.'I turned round and it took me a minute to realize who it was that had spoken to me. It was the little man in the heavy check suit and the clerical collar, but now he was wearing a long saffron robe, the robe, I knew later, of the Ramakrishna Swamis；and instead of the funny, spluttering little guy he'd been before, he was dignified and rather splendid.We both stared at the colossal bust.
后來我就去了象島，站在那兒觀看三頭神巨像——那是島上極為壯觀的一景，心里在琢磨著它代表著什么。忽聽身后有人說道：‘看來，你接受了我的建議。’我轉(zhuǎn)過臉去，定了定神才認(rèn)出了說話的人是誰——他就是那個穿厚花呢衣服、戴牧師領(lǐng)子的小個子。此時，他卻穿一襲橘黃色長袍——事后我才知道，那是羅摩克里希納教派的長老所穿的衣服。他已經(jīng)不再是先前那個滑里滑稽、嘰嘰喳喳愛說話的小矮子了，而成了一個氣宇軒昂的人物。我們倆都在觀看那尊巨像。

“‘Brahma, the Creator，'he said.‘Vishnu the Preserver, and Siva the Destroyer. The three manifestations of the Ultimate Reality.'
‘一個是大梵天，司創(chuàng)造；’他說，‘一個是毗濕奴，司護(hù)持；還有一個是濕婆，司破壞。這三大神代表的是終極境界?！?/p>

“‘I'm afraid I don't quite understand，'I said.
‘我怕是聽不懂你說什么。’我說道。

“‘I'm not surprised，'he answered, with a little smile on his lips and a twinkle in his eyes, as though he were gently mocking me.‘A God that can be understood is no God. Who can explain the Infinite in words?'
“‘這一點也不奇怪?！旖菐е唤z笑意回答道，同時擠了一下眼，仿佛在嘲笑我，你要是能吃得透上帝，那他就不是上帝了。誰又能解釋得清什么是”無極呢？

“He joined the palms of his hands together and with just the indication of a bow strolled on. I stayed looking at those three mysterious heads.Perhaps because I was in a receptive mood, I was strangely stirred.You know how sometimes you try to recall a name；it's on the tip of your tongue, but you just can't get it：that was the feeling I had then.When I came out of the caves I sat for a long while on the steps and looked at the sea.All I knew about Brahminism were those verses of Emerson's and I tried to remember them.It exasperated me that I couldn't and when I went back to Bombay I went into a bookshop to see if I could find a volume of poetry that had them in.They're in the Oxford Book of English Verse.D’you remember them?
他雙手合十，微微鞠了一躬，然后便揚長而去了。我待在原地繼續(xù)觀望那三個神秘的頭像。我有一種醍醐灌頂?shù)母杏X，心里異常興奮。你知道，有時候你回憶一個人的名字，那名字都到了嘴邊了，可你就是叫不出來。我當(dāng)時的感覺就是如此。出了石窟，我坐在臺階上瞭望大海，在那兒坐了很長時間。關(guān)于婆羅門教，我所有的知識都來自于愛默生的幾句詩。我絞盡腦汁想把那幾句詩背出來，但就是做不到，讓我感到很惱火?；氐矫腺I，我鉆進(jìn)一家書店，想看看有哪個詩集收入了那幾句詩，結(jié)果在《牛津英詩選》里找到了它們。你能背得下來嗎？

They reckon ill who leave me out；
不把我放在心上，那是癡心妄想；

When me they fly, I am the wings；
他們要飛翔，我就是翅膀；

I am the doubter and the doubt，
我是懷疑者，也是懷疑的思想，

And I the hymn the Brahmin sings.
婆羅門唱圣歌把我頌揚。

“I had supper in a native eating-house and then, as I didn't have to be on board till ten, I went and walked on the Maidan and looked at the sea. I thought I'd never seen so many stars in the sky.The cool was delicious after the heat of the day.I found a public garden and sat on a bench.It was very dark there and silent white figures flitted to and fro.That wonderful day, with the brilliant sunshine, the coloured, noisy crowds, the smell of the East, acrid and aromatic, enchanted me；and like an object, a splash of colour that a painter puts in to pull his composition together, those three enormous heads of Brahma, Vishnu, and Siva gave a mysterious significance to it all.My heart began to beat like mad, because I'd suddenly become aware of an intense conviction that India had something to give me that I had to have.It seemed to me that a chance was offered to me and I must take it there and then or it would never be offered me again.I made up my mind quickly.I decided not to go back to the ship.I'd left nothing there but a few things in a grip.I walked slowly back to the native quarter and looked about for a hotel.I found one after a while and took a room.I had the clothes I stood up in, some loose cash, my passport, and my letter of credit.I felt so free, I laughed out loud.
我在當(dāng)?shù)氐囊患也宛^吃了晚飯。由于只要十點鐘之前回到輪船上即可，于是我便信步走上廣場溜達(dá)，從那兒眺望大海。天上繁星點點，多得前所未見。熱了一整天，此時涼爽宜人。我找到一個公園，在長凳上坐下。公園里漆黑一團(tuán)，不時有白乎乎的身影默默地從我旁邊走過。白天的天氣晴朗，陽光燦爛，人群熙攘，身著五顏六色服裝，空氣中彌漫著辛辣而芳香的東方氣味，令我心醉神迷。大梵天、毗濕奴和濕婆三頭巨像就像是畫家的畫龍點睛之筆，抹上這一筆色彩，使得畫面趨于完整，并帶來了一種神秘的氣息。我的心狂跳不已——我突然強烈地感受到，印度要贈送給我一件禮物，我必須收下。這是個千載難逢的機會，一旦失去，就永遠(yuǎn)也不會再有了。我當(dāng)機立斷，決定不回輪船上去了，反正我也沒有什么貴重的東西在那兒，旅行包里只裝了幾件零碎物件。我緩步向居民區(qū)走去，想找家旅館住下。旅館很快就找到了，我要了個房間。我的財物只有身上的這身衣服、一點零錢、一本護(hù)照以及銀行信用證。我感到一身輕，自由極了，高興得哈哈大笑起來。

“The ship was sailing at eleven and just to be on the safe side I stayed in my room till then. I went down to the quay and watched her pull out.After that I went to the Ramakrishna Mission and routed out the Swami who'd spoken to me at Elephanta.I didn't know his name, but I explained that I wanted to see the Swami who'd just arrived from Alexandria.I told him I'd decided to stay in India and asked him what I ought to see.We had a long talk and at last he said he was going to Benares that night and asked me if I'd like to go with him.I jumped at it.We went third-class.The carriage was full of people eating and drinking and talking and the heat was terrific.I didn’t get a wink of sleep and next morning I was pretty tired, but the Swami was as fresh as a daisy.I asked him how come and he said：‘By meditation on the formless one；I found rest in the Absolute.’I didn’t know what to think, but I could see with my own eyes that he was as alert and wide awake as though he’d had a good night’s sleep in a comfortable bed.
輪船在十一點鐘起航。為保險起見，我一直待在房間里，到了那個時間才走出旅館，上碼頭目送它離開。然后，我去了羅摩克里希納教會，想拜訪那個在象島跟我交談過的長老。我不知道他的名字，費口舌解釋了幾句，說要見的那位長老剛從亞歷山大城來到此處。和長老會面時，我說自己決定在印度留下來了，問他應(yīng)該看些什么。我們長談一番，末了，他說自己當(dāng)晚要去貝拿勒斯，問我愿不愿跟他同行。我高興得差點沒跳起來。我們乘坐的是三等車廂，里面人滿為患，乘客們又是吃又是喝又是說話，空氣悶熱。我一夜沒合眼，次日早晨十分疲倦，而長老卻容光煥發(fā)、精神抖擻。我問他是怎么保持精力的。他回答說：‘靠的是參究無極，于無限中修心養(yǎng)性?！页圆煌杆脑挘劬s看得清他精力充沛、神清氣爽，就像是在一張舒適的床上睡了一夜好覺一般。

“When at last we got to Benares a young man of my own age came to meet my companion and the Swami asked him to find me a room. His name was Mahendra and he was a teacher at the university.He was a nice, kindly, intelligent fellow and he seemed to take as great a fancy to me as I took to him.That evening he took me out in a boat on the Ganges；it was a thrill for me, very beautiful with the city crowding down to the water's edge, and awe-inspiring；but next morning he had something better to show me, he fetched me at my hotel before dawn and took me out on the river again.I saw something I could never have believed possible, I saw thousands upon thousands of people come down to take their lustral bath and pray.I saw one tall gaunt fellow, with a mass of tangled hair and a great ragged beard, with nothing but a jock-strap to cover his nakedness, stand with his long arms outstretched, his head up, and in a loud voice pray to the rising sun.I can't tell you what an impression it made on me.I spent six months in Benares and I went over and over again on the Ganges at dawn to see that strange sight.I never got over the wonder of it.Those people believed not halfheartedly, not with reservation or uneasy doubt, but with every fibre of their being.
貝拿勒斯總算到了。一個和我年紀(jì)相仿的年輕人來迎接我的同伴。長老吩咐他給我找個地方住。這個年輕人叫馬亨德拉，是位大學(xué)教師，和氣、善良、聰慧。我們倆一見如故，彼此產(chǎn)生了好感。傍晚時分，他帶我乘船游覽恒河，叫我大開眼界。全城的人都擁到了河岸邊，場面極其壯觀，讓人心生神圣的敬畏感。而第二天，他帶我去看的景象更叫人嘆為觀止。天沒亮他就到旅館找我，又帶我去了恒河邊，讓我目睹了令人無法相信的場景——成千上萬的人來到河邊洗凈化浴和禱告。我看見一個瘦高個男子，蓬發(fā)虬髯，光著身子，只有一條兜帶遮住下體，伸出兩只長胳臂，仰著臉，面對冉冉升起的太陽高聲祈禱。那場面給我留下的印象簡直無法形容。我在貝拿勒斯待了六個月，屢次三番于拂曉時分到恒河邊去看那稀有的景象。每次去，都叫我感嘆不已。那些人的宗教信仰是全心全意、毫無保留、不摻雜任何疑慮的，那種信仰滲透到他們的每一個細(xì)胞里。

“Everyone was very kind to me. When they discovered I hadn't come to shoot tigers or to buy or sell anything, but only to learn, they did everything to help me.They were pleased that I should wish to learn Hindustani, and found teachers for me.They lent me books.They were never tired of answering my questions.Do you know anything about Hinduism?”
“所有的人對我都很好。他們發(fā)現(xiàn)我不是來獵虎的，也不是來做生意的，而是來學(xué)習(xí)的，便不遺余力地幫助我。他們聽說我想學(xué)習(xí)興都斯坦語，感到由衷的高興，又是為我找老師，又是幫我借書。對于我提出的問題，他們有問必答。你對印度教了解嗎？”

“Very little，”I answered.
“只知道一點皮毛?！蔽一卮稹?/p>

“I should have thought it would interest you. Can there be anything more stupendous than the conception that the universe has no beginning and no end, but passes everlastingly from growth to equilibrium, from equilibrium to decline, from decline to dissolution, from dissolution to growth, and so on to all eternity?”
“我還以為你會對這門宗教感興趣呢。印度教認(rèn)為宇宙無始無終，永遠(yuǎn)在變化之中，先是到極盛，再從極盛到?jīng)]落，沒落至消亡，然后再復(fù)生，循環(huán)往復(fù)，以至無窮。還有什么樣的信仰比這種信仰更為精彩呢？”

“And what do the Hindus think is the object of this endless recurrence?”
“印度教徒認(rèn)為這種周而復(fù)始的輪回，其目的是什么？”

“I think they'd say that such is the nature of the Absolute. You see, they believe that the purpose of creation is toserve as a stage for the punishment or reward of the deeds of the soul's earlier existence.”
“他們大概認(rèn)為這就是‘無限’的本質(zhì)?？梢钥吹?，他們的這種生死觀認(rèn)為人生只是一個階段，應(yīng)該根據(jù)每個人前生前世的作為或懲罰或獎勵。”

“Which presupposes belief in the transmigration of souls.”
“這種信仰主張的是生命輪回論。”

“It's a belief held by two thirds of the human race.”
“人類社會有三分之二的人都信這個?！?/p>

“The fact that a great many people believe something is no guarantee of its truth.”
“信的人多并不一定就是真理。”

“No, but at least it makes it worthy of consideration. Christianity absorbed so much of Neo-Platonism, it might very easily have absorbed that too, and in point of fact there was an early Christian sect that believed in it, but it was declared heretical.Except for that Christians would believe in it as confidently as they believe in the resurrection of Christ.”
“不錯，但至少值得認(rèn)真思考?；浇淘?jīng)吸收了不少新柏拉圖主義的思想，也完全可以將這種學(xué)說納入其中嘛。其實，基督教在初期階段就有一個流派相信這種生命輪回論，卻被視為異端邪說。若非如此，基督教徒們定會篤信這種觀點，就像他們相信耶穌復(fù)活一樣。”

“Am I right in thinking that it means that the soul passes from body to body in an endless course of experience occasioned by the merit or demerit of previous works?”
“我覺得這意味著靈魂從一個軀體轉(zhuǎn)向另一個軀體，而這種轉(zhuǎn)換無休無止，根據(jù)前生的功與過區(qū)分優(yōu)與劣。你說是不是？”

“I think so.”
“我想是的。”

“But you see, I'm not only my spirit but my body, and who can decide how much I, my individual self, am conditioned by the accident of my body?Would Byron have been Byron but for his club foot, or Dostoyevsky Dostoyevsky without his epilepsy?”
“可是，我不僅有靈魂，也有軀體呀。誰能說得清我之所以是我，我的軀體碰巧在其中起了多大作用呢？如果沒有那只畸形足，拜倫還能成為拜倫嗎？如果沒有癲癇癥，陀思妥耶夫斯基還能成為陀思妥耶夫斯基嗎？”

“The Indians wouldn't speak of an accident. They would answer that it's your actions in previous lives that have determined your soul to inhabit an imperfect body.”Larry drummed idly on the table and, lost in thought, gazed into space.Then, with a faint smile on his lips and a reflective look in his eyes, he went on.“Has it occurred to you that transmigration is at once an explanation and a justification of the evil of the world?If the evils we suffer are the result of sins committed in our past lives we can bear them with resignation and hope that if in this one we strive towards virtue our future lives will be less afflicted.But it's easy enough to bear our own evils, all we need for that is a little manliness；what's intolerable is the evil, often so unmerited in appearance, that befalls others.If you can persuade yourself that it is the inevitable result of the past you may pity, you may do what you can to alleviate, and you should, but you have no cause to be indignant.”
“印度人是不會說‘碰巧’的。他們會說是你前生的所作所為，才使你的靈魂投進(jìn)一個殘缺的身體。”拉里說著，用手指輕輕敲著桌子，目光飄向遠(yuǎn)方。后來，他嘴角浮出一絲笑意，眼里顯出若有所思的神情，繼續(xù)說道：“你可曾想到過，這種輪回論闡述了惡有惡報的道理，卻也說明了惡在世間是必然的存在？如果我們受的惡報是我們前生造孽的結(jié)果，我們就會乖乖地忍受，并在今世努力行善，使來生少受些苦。自己接受惡報倒還容易，只要挺起胸膛去承受就行了，但最叫人受不了的是目睹他人遭受痛苦，而那種痛苦并非罪有應(yīng)得。如果你能想得通，就會認(rèn)為，那是前世造孽的必然報應(yīng)，你可以同情他們，盡你的力量去減輕他們的痛苦，而且理當(dāng)如此，但你卻沒有理由怨天尤人?！?/p>

“But why didn't God create a world free from suffering and misery at the beginning when there was neither merit nor demerit in the individual to determine his actions?”
“可是，為什么上帝不在一開始就創(chuàng)造一個沒有痛苦和不幸的世界，一個不需要功與過決定人生的世界呢？”

“The Hindus would say that there was no beginning. The individual soul, co-existent with the universe, has existed from all eternity and owes its nature to some prior existence.”
“印度教徒不說什么開始不開始。他們認(rèn)為人的靈魂與宇宙共存，和日月同生，其本質(zhì)由前世決定。”

“And does the belief in the transmigration of souls have a practical effect on the lives of those who believe it?After all, that is the test.”
“那么，這種生命輪回學(xué)說對信徒的生活有實際影響嗎？這才是檢驗真理的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)?！?/p>

“I think it has. I can tell you of one man I knew personally on whose life it certainly had a very practical effect.The first two or three years I was in India I lived mostly in native hotels, but now and then someone asked me to stay with him and once or twice I lived in grandeur as the guest of a maharajah.Through one of my friends in Benares I got an invitation to stay in one of the smaller northern states.The capital was lovely：a rose-red city half as old as time.I was recommended to the Minister of Finance.He'd had a European education and had been to Oxford.When you talked to him you got the impression of a progressive, intelligent and enlightened man；and he had the reputation of being an extremely efficient minister and a clever, astute politician.He wore European clothes and was very natty in appearance.He was rather a nice-looking fellow, a little on the stout side as Indians tend to become in middle age, with a close-cropped, neat moustache.He often asked me to go to his house.He had a large garden and we'd sit under the shade of great trees and talk.He had a wife and two grown-up children.You'd have taken him for just the ordinary, rather commonplace Anglicized Indian and I was staggered when I found out that in a year, when he reached the age of fifty, he was going to resign his profitable position, dispose of his property to his wife and children, and go out into the world as a wandering mendicant.But the most surprising part was that his friends, and the maharajah, accepted it as a settled thing and looked upon it not as an extraordinary proceeding but as a natural one.
我想是有的。我可以告訴你，我認(rèn)識一個人，這種學(xué)說就對他的人生產(chǎn)生了實際影響。話說我到印度的頭兩三年，一般都住在當(dāng)?shù)氐穆灭^里，但有時候也有人會請我去他家住住，其中一兩次去土邦主家做客，住的是豪宅。通過貝拿勒斯一個朋友的關(guān)系，我被邀請到北方的一個小邦去做客。那個邦的首府讓人心情愉悅，是‘一座玫紅色的城市，歷史悠久’。我被引薦給了該邦的財政部長。他在歐洲求過學(xué)，是牛津大學(xué)的高才生。與之交談，你會覺得他是個不乏智慧的進(jìn)步開明人士，一個頗負(fù)盛名的精明強干的部長，一個聰穎、機敏的政治家。他身穿西裝，外表整潔，長得一表人才，跟大多數(shù)中年印度人一樣有點發(fā)福，嘴上留一撮胡子，修剪得又短又整齊。他經(jīng)常請我去他家做客。他家有一個大花園，我們就坐在參天大樹的樹蔭下海闊天空地聊天。他有一個妻子和兩個成年的孩子。你會覺得他是個平平常常、普普通通的英國化了的印度人。誰知一年后，也就是他五十歲的時候，他竟然要辭去肥差，將家產(chǎn)交給妻子和孩子，去做一個托缽僧云游四方，這叫我不由得吃了一驚。而最叫人感到意外的是，他的朋友們以及那個土邦主都順其自然，認(rèn)為很正常，沒有什么可大驚小怪的。

“One day I said to him：‘You, who are so liberal, who know the world, who've read so much, science, philosophy, literature-do you in your heart of hearts believe in reincarnation?'
有一天，我跟他說：‘你思想開化，見過世面，又讀書破萬卷——科學(xué)、哲學(xué)、文學(xué)書無不瀏覽，難道你真心實意相信靈魂轉(zhuǎn)世一說嗎？’

“His whole face changed. It became the face of a visionary.
他聽后表情大變，換上了一副先知的面孔。

“‘My dear friend，'he said，‘if I didn't believe in it life would have no meaning for me.'”
“‘我親愛的朋友，’他說道，‘假如我不相信，那么，生命對我而言就沒有意義了?！?/p>

“And do you believe in it, Larry?”I asked.
“你自己相信嗎，拉里？”我插話問。

“That's a very difficult question to answer. I don't think it's possible for us Occidentals to believe in it as implicitly as these Orientals do.It's in their blood and bones.With us it can only be an opinion.I neither believe in it nor disbelieve in it.”
“這個問題很難回答。我認(rèn)為，西方人不可能像東方人那樣從心底里相信。這種信仰已經(jīng)注入了他們的血液中。對你我而言，它只不過是仁者見仁智者見智的觀點。我既相信也不相信?！?/p>

He paused for a moment and with his face resting on his hand looked down at the table. Then he leant back.
他停頓了一下，用手托住下巴，眼睛望著桌面。片刻之后，他把身子又靠了回去。

“I should like to tell you of a very strange experience I had once. I was practising meditation one night in my little room at the Ashrama as my Indian friends had taught me to do.I had lit a candle and was concentrating my attention on its flame, and after a time, through the flame, but quite clearly, I saw a long line of figures one behind the other.The foremost was an elderly lady in a lace cap with grey ringlets that hung down over her ears.She wore a tight black bodice and a black silk flounced skirt-the sort of clothes, I think, they wore in the seventies-and she was standing full face to me in a gracious, diffident attitude, her arms hanging straight down her sides with the palms towards me.The expression on her lined face was kindly, sweet, and mild.Immediately behind her, but sideways so that I saw his profile, with a great hooked nose and thick lips, was a tall gaunt Jew in a yellow gabardine with a yellow skullcap on his thick dark hair.He had the studious look of a scholar and an air of grim and at the same time passionate austerity.Behind him, but facing me and as distinct as though there were no one between us, was a young man with a cheerful ruddy countenance, whom you couldn't have taken for anything but an Englishman of the sixteenth century.He stood firmly on his feet, his legs a little apart, and he had a bold, reckless, wanton look.He was dressed all in red, grandly as though it were a court dress, with broad-toed velvet shoes on his feet and a flat velvet cap on his head.Behind those three there was an endless chain of figures, like a queue outside a movie house, but they were dim and I couldn't see what they looked like.I was only aware of their vague shapes and of the movement that passed through them like wheat waving in a summer breeze.In a little while, I don't know whether it was in a minute, or five, or ten, they faded slowly into the darkness of the night and there was nothing but the steady flame of the candle.”
“我曾經(jīng)有過一次離奇古怪的經(jīng)歷，我想講給你聽聽。當(dāng)時我在靜修處修行，一天晚上在自己的小屋里，正在按印度朋友教給我的方法練習(xí)冥想。我點了一支蠟燭，把注意力集中在燭光上。過了一段時間，我在燭光里很清晰地看見了許多人，一個挨一個地排成了一條長龍。為首的是一個年事已高的婦女，戴一頂花邊帽，兩鬢灰白的頭發(fā)垂下來蓋在耳朵上。她上穿黑色緊身衣，下穿黑綢荷葉邊裙（我想就是上世紀(jì)七十年代流行的那種款式），面對著我，姿態(tài)嫻雅、超脫，兩臂沿身體下垂，手掌心向著我。她臉上布滿了皺紋，表情親切、和藹、溫柔。緊隨其后的是一個瘦高個猶太人，由于側(cè)著身子，只能看見他的側(cè)身像——大鷹鉤鼻、厚嘴唇，穿一件黃色寬松長袍，濃密的黑發(fā)上扣一頂黃色瓜皮帽。他看上去像個勤奮好學(xué)的學(xué)者，神情嚴(yán)肅，同時充滿了激情。他身后站著個年輕人，面朝著我，眉眼看得很清晰，就好像中間沒有隔任何人似的。他面色紅潤，樂呵呵的，一看就知道是個十六世紀(jì)的英國人。他傲然站立，兩腿微微分開，一副驕橫跋扈的神情。他穿一身紅衣，很氣派，像朝服一般，腳蹬寬頭絲絨鞋，頭戴絲絨扁帽。跟在這三人身后的是一條長龍，望也望不到頭，就跟電影院外買票排的長隊一樣，但朦朧模糊，看不清面目，只覺得那些縹緲的身影在移動，像夏風(fēng)吹拂下起伏的麥浪。過了一會兒，也不知是過了一分鐘、五分鐘還是十分鐘，那些人慢慢消失在了漆黑的夜色里，我眼前只剩下那不搖不晃的燭光?！?/p>

Larry gave a little smile.
拉里說到此處，微微一笑。

“Of course it may be that I'd fallen into a doze and dreamt. It may be that my concentration on that feeble flame had induced a sort of hypnotic condition in me and that those three figures that I saw as distinctly as I see you were recollections of pictures preserved in my subconscious.But it may be that they were myself in past lives.It may be that I was not so very long ago an old lady in New England and before that a Levantine Jew and somewhere back, soon after Sebastian Cabot had sailed from Bristol, a gallant at the Court of Henry Prince of Wales.”
“當(dāng)然嘍，這也許是我睡糊涂了，或者做了一場夢。也可能是我盯著那微弱的燭光看，結(jié)果進(jìn)入了催眠狀態(tài)。而那三個人物，我看得清清楚楚，就像我現(xiàn)在看你一樣清楚的三個人物，他們只不過是保留在我潛意識里的一些圖像而已。或許可以說，他們是我的前生相。前不久，我也許是新英格蘭的一位老太太，而在這以前是勒旺島的一個猶太人；再往前追溯至塞巴斯蒂安·卡伯特從布里斯托爾啟航不久的那段時間，我曾是威爾士亨利親王宮廷里的一個侍從。”

“What eventually happened to your friend of the rose-red city?”
“你那個玫紅色城市的朋友最后怎么樣啦？”

“Two years later I was down south at a place called Madura. One night in the temple someone touched me on the arm.I looked round and saw a bearded man with long black hair, dressed in nothing but a loincloth, with the staff and the begging-bowl of the holy man.It was not till he spoke that I recognized him.It was my friend.I was so astounded that I didn't know what to say.He asked me what I'd been doing and I told him；he asked me where I was going and I said to Travancore；he told me to go and see Shri Ganesha.‘He will give you what you're looking for，'he said.I asked him to tell me about him, but he smiled and said I'd find out all that was necessary for me to know when I saw him.I’d got over my surprise by then and asked him what he was doing in Madura.He said he was making a pilgrimage on foot to the holy places of India.I asked him how he ate and how he slept.He told me that when anyone offered him shelter he slept on the veranda, but otherwise under a tree or in the precincts of a temple；and as for food, if people offered him a meal he ate it and if they didn’t he went without.I looked at him：‘You’ve lost weight，’I said.He laughed and answered that he felt all the better for it.Then he said good-bye to me-it was funny to hear that guy in a loincloth say，‘Well, so long, old chap’—and stepped into that part of the temple where I couldn’t follow him.
兩年后我去了南方的一個叫馬都拉的地方。一天晚上，在馬都拉的寺院里，有人碰了碰我的胳膊，回頭一看，見是一個大胡子，長長的一頭黑發(fā)，光著身子，只在腰間圍了一條束帶，拿一根手杖和圣徒化緣用的缽子。直到他開口說話，我才認(rèn)出他就是我的那位朋友。這一驚可是不小，我一時都不知說什么好了。他問我這兩年做些什么，我告訴了他。他又問我去何處，我說去特拉凡哥爾。他建議我去見見希瑞·格涅沙，說道：‘他會解答你的問題的。’我讓他講講那人的情況，他卻只是笑笑，說一切見面自知。此時，初見他時的那種驚訝心情已經(jīng)消失，我問他在馬都拉干什么。他說自己正在朝圣途中，準(zhǔn)備到印度的各個圣地去參拜。我問他的食宿怎么解決。他說如有人家收留，他就睡在涼臺上，否則就睡在樹下或寺院里。至于食物，有人施舍就吃，無人施舍便餓肚子。我打量了一下他，說他變瘦了。他大笑，說瘦下來反倒好。隨后，他向我告別——聽這個腰間只圍一塊布的人用英語說‘再見，老弟’，真是滑稽。后來，他就進(jìn)了寺院的內(nèi)室，那兒是不準(zhǔn)我進(jìn)的。

“I stayed in Madura for some time. I think it's the only temple in India in which the white man can walk about freely so long as he doesn't enter the holy of holies.At nightfall it was packed with people.Men, women, and children.The men, stripped to the waist, wore dhoties, and their foreheads, and often their chests and arms, were thickly smeared with the white ash of burnt cow dung.You saw them making obeisance at one shrine or another and sometimes lying full length on the ground, face downwards, in the ritual attitude of prostration.They prayed and recited litanies.They called to one another, greeted one another, quarrelled with one another, heatedly argued with one another.There was an ungodly row, and yet in some mysterious way God seemed to be near and living.
我在馬都拉待了一段時間。馬都拉的寺院恐怕是全印度唯一的一個允許白人四處隨意走動的寺院，只是院里最為神圣的地方還是不準(zhǔn)進(jìn)的。一到晚上，這兒便人頭攢動，男女老少都有。男人們赤裸上身，腰間圍一塊布，額頭上厚厚涂一層牛糞燒剩的白灰（往往有人在胸口上和胳膊上也涂這種白灰）。只見他們拜拜這個神龕又拜拜那個，有時匍匐在地上，臉朝下，行五體投地禮。他們祈禱，誦讀連禱經(jīng)文；他們相互呼叫、寒暄、爭吵或激烈地辯論。有人罵出的臟話簡直是褻瀆神明，而奇怪的是，神明似乎就在跟前，卻不聞不問。

“You pass through long halls, the roof supported by sculptured columns, and at the foot of each column a religious mendicant is seated；each has in front of him a bowl for offerings or a small mat on which the faithful now and again throw a copper coin. Some are clad；some are almost naked.Some look at you vacantly as you pass；some are reading, silently or aloud, and appear unconscious of the streaming throng.I looked for my friend among them；I never saw him again.I suppose he proceeded on the journey to his goal.”
“穿過長長的過廳，過廳的房頂由一根根雕刻著圖案的石柱支撐，而每根柱子跟前都坐著一個托缽僧，面前放一只化緣的缽，或者一小塊席子——時不時會有施主將銅幣丟在席子上。托缽僧有的穿衣服，有的幾乎赤身裸體；有的目光茫然地望著從跟前走過的人；有的在默默地或出聲地誦經(jīng)；有的在冥想，對川流不息的人群視而不見。我舉目望去，要尋找我的那位朋友，卻不見其蹤影，想來他又踏上了實現(xiàn)自身目標(biāo)的旅途。”

“And what was that?”
“什么目標(biāo)？”

“Liberation from the bondage of rebirth. According to the Vedantists the self, which they call the atman and we call the soul, is distinct from the body and its senses, distinct from the mind and its intelligence；it is not part of the Absolute, for the Absolute, being infinite, can have no parts, but the Absolute itself.It is uncreated；it has existed from eternity and when at last it has cast off the seven veils of ignorance will return to the infinitude from which it came.It is like a drop of water that has arisen from the sea and in a shower has fallen into a puddle, then drifts into a brook, finds its way into a stream, after that into a river, passing through mountain gorges and wide plains, winding this way and that, obstructed by rocks and fallen trees, till at last it reaches the boundless sea from which it rose.”
“即免受輪回之苦。根據(jù)吠陀經(jīng)義，真我（他們稱為阿特曼，咱們稱為靈魂）不同于肉體和感覺，不同于思想和智慧，是‘無限’的一個組成部分；鑒于‘無限’是無邊無際的，沒有‘部分’之說，所以‘真我’實為‘無限’之本身。它并非創(chuàng)造之物，而是與天地共生之物。一旦擺脫七重蒙蔽，它便會回歸它的原始之地——‘無限’。它就像海里蒸發(fā)起來的一滴水，在一場雨后墜進(jìn)水潭，然后流入溪澗，進(jìn)入江河，通過險峻的峽谷和廣袤的平原，迂回曲折，擊石穿林，最后抵達(dá)它的發(fā)源地——無垠的大海。”

“But that poor little drop of water, when it has once more become one with the sea, has surely lost its individuality.”
“可是，那個可憐的小水滴一旦融入大海，豈不就喪失了個性?！?/p>

Larry grinned.
拉里抿嘴一笑。

“You want to taste sugar, you don't want to become sugar. What is individuality but the expression of our egoism?Until the soul has shed the last trace of that it cannot become one with the Absolute.”
“你要嘗糖的味道，你并不是要變成糖。何謂‘個性’，還不就是自我主義的一種表現(xiàn)嗎？靈魂只有徹底擺脫個性，才能和‘無限’融為一體?！?/p>

“You talk very familiarly of the Absolute, Larry, and it's an imposing word. What does it actually signify to you?”
“你大談‘無限’，好像很熟悉一樣，拉里。這是一個冠冕堂皇的詞。你覺得它究竟指的是什么呢？”

“Reality. You can't say what it is；you can only say what it isn't.It's inexpressible.The Indians call it Brahman.It's nowhere and everywhere.All things imply and depend upon it.It's not a person, it’s not a thing, it’s not a cause.It has no qualities.It transcends permanence and change；whole and part, finite and infinite.It is eternal because its completeness and perfection are unrelated to time.It is truth and freedom.”
“它是一種存在，不能具體地說它是什么或者不是什么。它是無法表達(dá)的。印度人稱它為大梵天。哪兒都沒有它的身影，卻無處不在。世間萬物都隱含著它的因素，都依賴它而存在。它非人非物，非因非果，超出了‘持久’和‘變化’之范圍，超出了‘整體’和‘部分’之范圍，也超出了‘有限’和‘無限’的范圍。它是永恒的，因為它的完善與時間無關(guān)。它就是真理和自由?！?/p>

“Golly！”I said to myself, but to Larry：“But how can a purely intellectual conception be a solace to the suffering human race?Men have always wanted a personal God to whom they can turn in distress for comfort and encourage-ment.”
“我的老天！”我在心里叫了一聲，但對拉里說出來的話卻是：“可是，一種純理性化的觀念又怎么能撫慰受苦受難的眾生呢？人們希望有一個人性化的上帝，受苦受難時可以向他尋求安慰和鼓勵?！?/p>

“It may be that at some far distant day greater insight will show them that they must look for comfort and encouragement in their own souls. I myself think that the need to worship is no more than the survival of an old remembrance of cruel gods that had to be propitiated.I believe that God is within me or nowhere.If that's so, whom or what am I to worship-myself?Men are on different levels of spiritual development, and so the imagination of India has evolved the manifestations of the Absolute that are known as Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, and by a hundred other names.The Absolute is in Isvara, the creator and ruler of the world, and it is in the humble fetish before which the peasant in his sun-baked field places the offering of a flower.The multitudinous gods of India are but expedients to lead to the realization that the self is one with the supreme self.”
“也許在遙遠(yuǎn)的未來，人類會大徹大悟，發(fā)現(xiàn)只能在自身靈魂里尋找安慰和鼓勵。我個人認(rèn)為，所謂的崇拜人性化的上帝只是古代朝拜兇殘暴虐神祇那種舊信仰的殘留。我認(rèn)為上帝只在我的心中，而不在別的地方。如果是這樣，我應(yīng)當(dāng)崇拜誰呢？崇拜我自己？人的精神發(fā)展是分不同層次的，因此在印度人的想象中，‘無限’就有了幾種表現(xiàn)形式——大梵天、毗濕奴、濕婆（另外還有上百種稱呼）。‘無限’寓于世界的創(chuàng)造者和統(tǒng)治者‘自在天’之中，也寓于農(nóng)民在太陽烤焦的土地里放一朵鮮花所供奉的卑微小神之中。印度的那些名目繁多的神只是形式，目的是讓人們意識到：‘真我’乃‘我’與上天之合體。”

I looked at Larry reflectively.
我望著拉里，思緒萬千。

“I wonder just what it was that attracted you to this austere faith，”I said.
“真不知是什么在吸引著你，使你沉迷于這樣的信仰?！蔽艺f道。

“I think I can tell you. I've always felt that there was something pathetic in the founders of religion who made it a condition of salvation that you should believe in them.It's as though they needed your faith to have faith in themselves.They remind you of those old pagan gods who grew wan and faint if they were not sustained by the burnt offerings of the devout.Advaita doesn't ask you to take anything on trust；it asks only that you should have a passionate craving to know Reality；it states that you can experience God as surely as you can experience joy or pain.And there are men in Indiatoday-hundreds of them for all I know-who have the certitude that they have done so.I found something wonderfully satisfying in the notion that you can attain Reality by knowledge.In later ages the sages of India in recognition of human infirmity admitted that salvation may be won by the way of love and the way of works, but they never denied that the noblest way, though the hardest, is the way of knowledge, for its instrument is the most precious faculty of man, his reason.”
“這我是可以給你講一講的。我一直覺得宗教的創(chuàng)始人有點可悲，他們設(shè)置了救贖的條件——那就是你得相信他們。就好像他們?nèi)狈ψ孕判?，非得要你的信仰給他們撐面子似的。這會叫人想起古代的那些異教神——那些神必須要信徒燒紙錢供奉，否則便會形容憔悴。不二吠檀多不需要你做任何事情，只要求你懷著熾熱的感情去探知‘存在’。它斷言，你一定能感受到上帝的存在，就像你能感受到歡樂或痛苦一樣。如今，有許多印度人（據(jù)我所知人數(shù)達(dá)成百上千）自認(rèn)為已經(jīng)做到了這一點。通過認(rèn)知了解‘存在’——我認(rèn)為這種觀點很精彩，值得稱贊。在后期，印度的圣徒們認(rèn)識到了人類的弱點，承認(rèn)通過大愛和勤奮的工作也能得到拯救。但是，他們從不否認(rèn)，最高級（也是最艱難）的途徑仍是認(rèn)知——認(rèn)知是人類最寶貴的能力，也是人類理性的形式?！?/p>