雙語·《刀鋒》 第二章 四

CHAPTER TWO 4
第二章 四

Elliott was of opinion that breakfast was a meal that you should share only with total strangers, and then only if there was no help for it, so Mrs. Bradley, somewhat against her will, and Isabel, far from displeased, were obliged to have theirs in their bedrooms.But Isabel, when she awoke, sometimes told Antoinette the grand maid Elliott had engaged for them, to take her café au lait into her mother’s room so that she could talk to her while she had it.In the busy life she led it was the only moment of the day in which she could be alone with her.One such morning, when they had been in Paris nearly a month, after Isabel had done narrating the events of the previous night, most of which she and Larry had spent going the rounds of the night clubs with a party of friends, Mrs.Bradley let fall the question she had had in mind to ask ever since their arrival.
艾略特認為，只有接待生客才陪著吃早飯，那也是萬不得已的事情。布雷德利夫人和伊莎貝爾只好在各自的寢室用早點了，布雷德利夫人很不情愿，伊莎貝爾卻絲毫不在意。不過，有時候伊莎貝爾醒來后，會叫艾略特給她們雇的那個高貴女傭安托瓦內(nèi)特把她的一份咖啡牛奶送到她母親的寢室，母女倆好在吃早點時聊聊天。她整天忙得滴溜溜轉，一天當中只有這點時間能陪母親坐坐。她們來巴黎快一個月后的一個這樣的早晨，伊莎貝爾先把昨天晚上做的事情敘述了一遍，無非是說她和拉里隨一群朋友逛夜總會什么的；接著，布雷德利夫人提出了一個問題——這個問題自打來巴黎后一直壓在她的心頭。

“When is he coming back to Chicago?”
“他打算什么時候回芝加哥？”

“I don't know. He hasn't spoken of it.”
“不知道。他提都沒提過?！?/p>

“Haven't you asked him?”
“你沒有問過嗎？”

“No.”
“沒有?！?/p>

“Are you scared to?”
“你是不是怕問？”

“No, of course not.”
“不是，當然不是。”

Mrs. Bradley, lying on a chaise longue, in a modish dressing-gown that Elliott had insisted on giving her, was polishing her nails.
布雷德利夫人斜倚在長靠椅上修指甲，身上穿一件正流行的晨衣——一件拉里執(zhí)意要送給她的禮物。

“What do you talk about all the time when you're alone?”
“你倆在一起都說些什么？”

“We don't talk all the time. It's nice to be together.You know, Larry was always rather silent.When we talk I think I do most of the talking.”
“我們一般不說話。兩人在一起坐坐就很好了。你知道拉里總是沉默寡言的。交談起來，差不多都是我一人在講話?！?/p>

“What has he been doing with himself?”
“他平時干些什么？”

“I don't really know. I don't think anything very much.I suppose he's been having a good time.”
“我也弄不清楚，只覺得沒有干什么大事。我想他過得挺開心的。”

“And where is he living?”
“他住在哪里？”

“I don't know that either.”
“這我也不知道?！?/p>

“He seems very reticent, doesn't he?”
“他好像城府很深呀，對不對？”

Isabel lit a cigarette and, as she blew a cloud of smoke from her nostrils, looked coolly at her mother.
伊莎貝爾點起一支香煙，從鼻孔里噴出一縷煙，靜靜地望著自己的母親。

“What exactly do you mean by that, Mamma?”
“你這話究竟是什么意思，媽媽？”

“Your uncle Elliott thinks he has an apartment and is living there with a woman.”
“你舅舅認為他租了一套公寓，跟一個女人同居?！?/p>

Isabel burst out laughing.
伊莎貝爾不聽則已，一聽笑破了肚皮。

“You don't believe that, do you?”
“這話你相信嗎，媽媽？”

“No. I honestly don't.”Mrs.Bradley looked reflectively at her nails.“Don't you ever talk to him about Chicago?”
“不相信，老實說我不相信?！辈祭椎吕蛉送约旱闹讣祝烈髁季?，“你可曾跟他談過回芝加哥的事？”

“Yes, a lot.”
“談過，談過不知多少次了?！?/p>

“Hasn't he given any sort of indication that he intends to come back?”
“他是否有所表示，說他打算回去呢？”

“I can't say he has.”
“恐怕沒有什么表示。”

“He will have been gone two years next October.”
“十月份他離開家鄉(xiāng)就滿兩年了?！?/p>

“I know.”
“這我知道。”

“Well, it's your business, dear, and you must do what you think right. But things don't get any easier by putting them off.”She glanced at her daughter, but Isabel would not meet her eyes.Mrs.Bradley gave her an affectionate smile.“If you don't want to be late for lunch you'd better go and have your bath.”
“這是你的事情，親愛的，你覺得該怎么做就怎么做吧。不過，久拖不決也不是個事呀?！辈祭椎吕蛉硕⒅畠海辽悹枌⒛抗舛汩_了。布雷德利夫人疼愛地沖她一笑。“去吧，去洗個澡準備準備，吃午飯可別遲了?！?/p>

“I'm lunching with Larry. We're going to some place in the Latin Quarter.”
“我要跟拉里去吃午飯。在拉丁區(qū)的一個什么地方?！?/p>

“Enjoy yourself.”
“好好玩去吧。”

An hour later Larry came to fetch her. They took a cab to the Pont St.Michel and sauntered up the crowded boulevard till they came to a café they liked the look of.They sat down on the terrace and ordered a couple of Dubonnets.Then they took another cab and went to a restaurant.Isabel had a healthy appetite and she enjoyed the good things Larry ordered for her.She enjoyed looking at the people sitting cheek by jowl with them, for the place was packed, and it made her laugh to see the intense pleasure they so obviously took in their food；but she enjoyed above all sitting at a tiny table alone with Larry.She loved the amusement in his eyes while she chattered away gaily.It was enchanting to feel so much at home with him.But at the back of her mind was a vague disquiet, for though he seemed very much at home too, she felt it was not so much with her as with the surroundings.She had been faintly disturbed by what her mother had said, and though seeming to prattle so guilelessly she observed his every expression.He was not quite the same as when he had left Chicago, but she couldn’t tell in what the difference lay.He looked exactly as she remembered him, as young, as frank, but his expression was changed.It was not that he was more serious, his face in repose had always been serious, it had a calmness that was new to her；it was as though he had settled something with himself and were at ease in a way he had never been before.
一小時后，拉里來接她。二人叫了輛出租車去了圣米歇爾橋，然后沿著人頭攢動的林蔭大道轉悠，最后相中了一家咖啡店。他們在這家店的露臺上落座，叫了兩杯杜本內(nèi)開胃酒。出了咖啡店，他們又叫車去了一家飯館。伊莎貝爾胃口很好，拉里點的那些可口的飯菜她都吃得津津有味。飯館里顧客盈門，吃客們你挨著我、我靠著你坐在一起進餐，這場面叫伊莎貝爾看了挺開心的。瞧見人們狼吞虎咽的吃相，她會禁不住笑出聲來。不過，她最為開心的是能夠和拉里單獨在一起，卿卿我我地坐在一張小桌旁。她興高采烈地說這說那，拉里聽著眼里閃出歡快的光芒，這讓她看在眼中喜在心頭。跟拉里無拘無束坐在一起，讓她感到陶然若醉。但她的內(nèi)心深處隱隱約約有一絲不安——拉里雖然也無拘無束的，她卻覺得真正給他以輕松感的與其說是她，倒不如說是周圍的環(huán)境。母親早上說的話對她有所觸動。于是，她嘰嘰喳喳說著話，似乎一點心思也沒有，實際卻在觀察他的每一細小表情。拉里和最初離開芝加哥時相比略有不同，但她說不清他究竟發(fā)生了什么變化。他看上去跟以前別無二致，還是那么年輕，那么坦率，只是神情卻有了變化。這種神情并不是比以前更嚴肅（他臉上總有一副嚴肅的表情），而是多了一份從前所沒有的安寧。他好像解決了一道人生的難題，如今尋找到了心靈的安寧——這是前所未有的現(xiàn)象。

When they had finished lunch he suggested that they should take a stroll through the Luxembourg.
吃完飯，拉里建議去逛盧森堡博物館。

“No, I don't want to go and look at pictures.”
“不，我不想去看畫?！?/p>

“All right then, let's go and sit in the gardens.”
“好吧，那就去花園里坐坐。”

“No, I don't want to do that either. I want to go and see where you live.”
“不，我也不想去那里。我要去看看你住的地方?！?/p>

“There's nothing to see. I live in a scrubby little room in a hotel.”
“沒什么可看的，我住在旅館的一個很寒酸的斗室里。”

“Uncle Elliott says you've got an apartment and are living in sin with an artist's model.”
“艾略特舅舅說你有一套公寓，跟一個畫家的模特兒同居?！?/p>

“Come on then and see for yourself，”he laughed.“It's only a step from here. We can walk.”
“無稽之談。那你親眼去看看好啦?！彼笮Φ?，“從這里去只有幾步路。咱們可以步行過去?！?/p>

He took her through narrow, tortuous streets, dingy notwithstanding the streak of blue sky that showed between the high houses, and after a while stopped at a small hotel with a pretentious fa?ade.
他帶著她穿過幾條狹窄的、彎彎曲曲的街道——這些街道夾在高房子中間，可以望見一抹青天，顯得骯臟暗淡。走了一會兒，二人來到了一家門面寒磣的小旅館。

“Here we are.”
“咱們到了?！?/p>

Isabel followed him into a narrow hall, on one side of which was a desk and behind it a man in shirt-sleeves, with a waistcoat in thin black and yellow stripes and a dirty apron, reading a paper. Larry asked for his key, and the man handed it to him from the rack immediately behind him.He gave Isabel an inquisitive glance that turned into a knowing smirk.It was clear that he thought she was going to Larry's room for no honest purpose.
伊莎貝爾隨著他走進一間狹窄的廳堂，廳堂的一側有一張桌子，桌旁坐著個男子，穿一件襯衣和一個細黑黃條子相間的背心，系一條圍裙，正在那里看報。拉里問他要房間的鑰匙，那人從身后格子架里把鑰匙取出交給了他，同時好奇地瞥了伊莎貝爾一眼，又轉為會意的傻笑。顯然他認為伊莎貝爾去拉里的房間不是干規(guī)矩事情的。

They climbed up two flights of stairs, on which was a threadbare red carpet, and Larry unlocked his door. Isabel entered a smallish room with two windows.They looked out on the grey apartment house opposite, on the ground floor of which was a stationer's shop.There was a single bed in the room, with a night table beside it, a heavy wardrobe with a large mirror, an upholstered but straight-backed armchair, and a table between the windows on which were a typewriter, papers, and a number of books.The chimney-piece was piled with paper-bound volumes.
他們爬上兩段樓梯，樓梯上鋪著破舊的紅地毯。拉里用鑰匙打開房間的門。伊莎貝爾走進一間有兩扇窗戶的小房間。從窗口望去，街對面是一幢灰顏色的公寓樓，公寓樓的底層開著一家文具店。小房間里有一張單人床，配一個床頭柜，另外還有一口鑲著大鏡子的笨重的衣柜，一把裝了墊子但是椅背筆直的扶手椅，兩扇窗子之間放一張桌子，桌子上有架打字機、一些紙張和幾本書。壁爐板上堆放了些平裝書。

“You sit in the armchair. It's not very comfortable, but it's the best I can offer.”
“你坐扶手椅吧，雖然不太舒服，卻是這里最好的了?！?/p>

He drew up another chair and sat down.
他另外拉過來一把椅子，自己也坐下了。

“Is this where you live?”asked Isabel.
“你就住在這地方？”伊莎貝爾問。

He chuckled at the look on her face.
他看見她臉上的神情，撲哧一聲笑了。

“It is. I've been here ever since I came to Paris.”
“可不是么。來巴黎后，我一直住在這里?！?/p>

“But why?”
“為什么？”

“It's convenient. It's near the Bibliothèque Nationale and the Sorbonne.”He pointed to a door she had not noticed.“It’s got a bathroom.I can get breakfast here and I generally dine at that restaurant where we had lunch.”
“圖個方便唄。這兒靠近國家圖書館和巴黎大學?！彼钢杆龥]有注意到的一扇門說，“這里有洗澡的地方，有早餐吃。晚飯一般就在咱們吃午飯的那家飯館解決?！?/p>

“It's awfully sordid.”
“這地方太寒酸了?！?/p>

“Oh no, it's all right. It's all I want.”
“哦，還好吧，有這地方住就不錯了?！?/p>

“But what sort of people live here?”
“這兒住的都是些什么人呢？”

“Oh, I don't know. Up in the attics a few students.Two or three old bachelors in government offices and a retired actress at the Odéon；the only other room with a bath is occupied by a kept woman whose gentleman friend comes to see her every other Thursday；I suppose a few transients.It’s a very quiet and respectable place.”
“哦，不太清楚。上面閣樓里住了幾個學生。其他的還有兩三個在政府機關里做事的老光棍和一個奧德昂大劇院的退休女演員。另有一個房間也是帶浴室的，住著一個被包了身的女人，她的男朋友每隔一個星期四來看她。除此之外，恐怕還有些暫住的客人。這地方很安靜，適于居住?！?/p>

Isabel was a trifle disconcerted and because she knew Larry noticed it and was amused she was half inclined to take offence.
伊莎貝爾聽了有點窘迫，被拉里瞧在了眼里并感到好笑，這一來就叫她有些氣惱了。

“What's that great big book on the table?”she asked.
“桌子上那本大厚書是什么書？”她問。

“That?Oh, that's my Greek dictionary.”
“哪本？噢，那是我的希臘字典。”

“Your what?”she cried.
“你的什么來著？”她提高了嗓門問。

“It's all right. It won't bite you.”
“你看看也沒有關系，它不會咬你的?！?/p>

“Are you learning Greek?”
“你在學希臘語嗎？”

“Yes.”
“是的?！?/p>

“Why?”
“為什么？”

“I thought I'd like to.”
“可能是個人愛好吧?！?/p>

He was looking at her with a smile in his eyes and she smiled back at him.
他說話時望著她，眼睛里帶著微笑，她也沖他笑了笑。

“Don't you think you might tell me what you've been up to all the time you've been in Paris?”
“你能不能告訴我，來巴黎后這么長時間你都做了些什么？”

“I've been reading a good deal. Eight or ten hours a day.I've attended lectures at the Sorbonne.I think I've read everything that's important in French literature and I can read Latin, at least Latin prose, almost as easily as I can read French.Of course Greek's more difficult.But I have a very good teacher.Until you came here I used to go to him three evenings a week.”
“我花大量時間看書，每天用去八至十個小時吧。另外還到巴黎大學聽講座。法國文學中重要的作品，我想自己都讀遍了?，F(xiàn)在我能看得懂拉丁文了，至少能看懂拉丁散文了，如今看拉丁文幾乎跟看法文一樣輕松了。當然，學希臘語是比較難的。不過，我有個非常好的老師。你來之前，我每周去他那兒學三個晚上?！?/p>

“And what is that going to lead to?”
“這樣做的目的何在？”

“The acquisition of knowledge，”he smiled.
“掌握知識唄。”他笑了笑說。

“It doesn't sound very practical.”
“這好像不太實際?！?/p>

“Perhaps it isn't and on the other hand perhaps it is. But it's enormous fun.You can't imagine what a thrill it is to read the Odyssey in the original.It makes you feel as if you had only to get on tiptoe and stretch out your hands to touch the stars.”
“也許不太實際，另一方面，也許卻又是實際的。追求知識本身就是極大的樂趣。你想象不來，閱讀原文版的《奧德賽》該是多么令人激動。你有一種感覺，好像一踮腳尖，伸出手就能夠著星星似的?！?/p>

He got up from his chair, as though impelled by an excitement that seized him, and walked up and down the small room.
他起身離開椅子，像是興奮得不能自已，在小房間里來來回回踱起了步。

“I've been reading Spinoza the last month or two. I don't suppose I understand very much of it yet, but it fills me with exultation.It's like landing from your plane on a great plateau in the mountains.Solitude, and an air so pure that it goes to your head like wine and you feel like a million dollars.”
“這一兩個月我在看斯賓諾莎的書。我不敢說自己理解得十分透徹，然而心里卻充滿了歡樂。就好像是乘飛機來到了高山之巔的一處遼闊的平原上，周圍空無一人，空氣清新得猶如芬芳的美酒，沁人心脾。你覺得自己就像是個極其富有的人。”

“When are you coming back to Chicago?”
“你什么時候回芝加哥呢？”

“Chicago?I don't know. I haven't thought of it.”
“芝加哥？不知道。我沒有想過這件事。”

“You said that if you hadn't got what you wanted after two years you'd give it up as a bad job.”
“你不是說過，如果你兩年之后還找不到你要找的東西，就改弦更張嗎？”

“I couldn't go back now. I'm on the threshold.I see vast lands of the spirit stretching out before me, beckoning, and I'm eager to travel them.”
“反正我現(xiàn)在是不能回去的。我剛剛邁過了一道門檻，看見一望無際的精神王國展現(xiàn)在我的面前，它在向我招手，我急切地要到那兒去瞧瞧?！?/p>

“What do you expect to find in them?”
“你想到那里尋找什么呢？”

“The answers to my questions.”He gave her a glance that was almost playful, so that except that she knew him so well, she might have thought he was speaking in jest.“I want to make up my mind whether God is or God is not. I want to find out why evil exists.I want to know whether I have an immortal soul or whether when I die it's the end.”
“尋找問題的答案。”他說完瞅了她一眼，眼神中帶幾分戲謔。她如若不是對他知根知底，也許會覺得他在開玩笑呢?！拔蚁肱宄降子袥]有上帝，弄清楚為什么會有邪惡。我想知道靈魂是不朽的，還是人一死，靈魂也跟著消亡。”

Isabel gave a little gasp. It made her uncomfortable to hear Larry say such things, and she was thankful that he spoke so lightly, in the tone of ordinary conversation, that it was possible for her to overcome her embarrassment.
伊莎貝爾倒抽了一口氣。聽見拉里這般說話，她覺得怪不舒服，幸虧他語調輕輕松松，跟平時說話別無二致，她這才沒有將內(nèi)心的窘迫表露出來。

“But Larry，”she smiled.“People have been asking those questions for thousands of years. If they could be answered, surely they'd have been answered by now.”
“可是，拉里，”她微笑說，“這樣的問題人類已經(jīng)提出來幾千年了，如果能夠解答的話，肯定早已有答案了?！?/p>

Larry chuckled.
拉里笑了一聲。

“Don't laugh as if I'd said something idiotic，”she said sharply.
“請別這么笑，弄得好像我在說蠢話似的?！彼料履樥f。

“On the contrary I think you've said something shrewd. But on the other hand you might say that if men have been asking them for thousands of years it proves that they can't help asking them and have to go on asking them.Besides, it's not true that no one has found the answers.There are more answers than questions, and lots of people have found answers that were perfectly satisfactory for them.Old Ruysbroek for instance.”
“恰恰相反，我認為你說得在理。但從另一方面看，假如人類提出這樣的問題達數(shù)千年之久，那就證明這樣的問題是很有必要提出的，以后還會繼續(xù)提出來。至于說無人能解答這種問題，那是不對的。人類尋找到的答案已經(jīng)超出了問題本身。許多人給出的答案十分完美。魯斯布魯克老人就是一例?！?/p>

“Who was he?”
“魯斯布魯克是誰？”

“Oh, just a guy I didn't know at college，”Larry answered flippantly.
“哦，是大學里的，一個我不認識的人?！崩镙p描淡寫地說。

Isabel didn't know what he meant, but passed on.
伊莎貝爾不懂他是什么意思，但他繼續(xù)往下說著。

“It all sounds so adolescent to me. Those are the sort of things sophomores get excited about and then when they leave college they forget about them.They have to earn a living.”
“有些話聽上去挺幼稚的。大學的莘莘學子為這種知識興奮不已，可是一走出校門就將其拋在了腦后，因為他們不得不掙錢養(yǎng)家?！?/p>

“I don't blame them. You see, I'm in the happy position that I have enough to live on.If I hadn't I'd have had to do like everybody else and make money.”
“這也無可厚非。你知道，我幸虧還有點錢可以過活。如若不然，我也得跟其他人一樣去掙錢了?！?/p>

“But doesn't money mean anything to you?”
“難道錢對你一點都不重要嗎？”

“Not a thing，”he grinned.
“是的?！彼⑽⒁恍φf。

“How long d'you think all this is going to take you?”
“你這樣讀書學習，還要多長時間？”

“I wouldn't know. Five years.Ten years.”
“說不準。大概要五年十年吧。”

“And after that?What are you going to do with all this wisdom?”
“以后呢？你準備把學到的知識怎么運用？”

“If I ever acquire wisdom I suppose I shall be wise enough to know what to do with it.”
“如果掌握了知識，就有了智慧，到時候一定會知道如何運用的?！?/p>

Isabel clasped her hands passionately and leant forwards in her chair.
伊莎貝爾情緒激動地把兩只纖手絞在一起，坐在椅子上的身子朝前一探。

“You're so wrong, Larry. You're an American.Your place isn't here.Your place is in America.”
“你完全錯了，拉里。你是個美國人，這兒不是你安身立命的地方。你安身立命的地方是美國?！?/p>

“I shall come back when I'm ready.”
“等我學成了，我會回去的。”

“But you're missing so much. How can you bear to sit here in a backwater just when we're living through the most wonderful adventure the world has ever known?Europe's finished.We're the greatest, the most powerful people in the world.We're going forward by leaps and bounds.We’ve got everything.It’s your duty to take part in the development of your country.You’ve forgotten, you don’t know how thrilling life is in America today.Are you sure you’re not doing this because you haven’t the courage to stand up to the work that’s before every American now?Oh, I know you’re working in a way, but isn’t it just an escape from your responsibilities?Is it more than just a sort of laborious idleness?What would happen to America if everyone shirked as you’re shirking?”
“可是，你會錯過很多機會。美國正在經(jīng)歷著一個世界從來沒有經(jīng)歷過的偉大時代，你怎么能忍心坐在這死氣沉沉的地方一動不動呢？歐洲已到了窮途末路。美利堅民族是世界上最偉大、最強盛的民族。我們正在一日千里地前進。在美國，一切條件都已具備。人人有義務投身于祖國的建設之中。你忘記了自己的義務，不知道如今在美國生活是多么激動人心。你不愿回國，是不是就是說你缺乏勇氣去面對擺在每一個美國人面前的重任呢？哎，我知道你也在從事著某種工作，但這是否就是逃避責任的一種方式呢？這恐怕不僅僅是貌似勤奮的偷懶吧？如果人人都像你這樣逃避責任，美國會弄成什么樣子呢？”

“You're very severe, honey，”he smiled.“The answer to that is that everyone doesn't feel like me. Fortunately for themselves, perhaps, most people are prepared to follow the normal course；what you forget is that I want to learn as passionately as-Gray, for instance, wants to make pots of money.Am I really a traitor to my country because I want to spend a few years educating myself?It may be that when I'm through I shall have something to give that people will be glad to take.It's only a chance, of course, but if I fail I shall be no worse off than a man who's gone into business and hasn’t made a go of it.”
“你很尖酸刻薄，小心肝。”他笑著說，“我的回答是，并不是每個人都和我有同樣的感受。大多數(shù)人都準備按部就班地過日子，這對他們而言也許是幸運的。你忘記了一點，我的求知欲跟格雷掙大錢的欲望同樣強烈。難道我想花幾年時間進行深造，真的就是背叛祖國嗎？也許我學成以后，會有自己的貢獻，國人會感到高興呢。當然，這只是一種假設。萬一我功敗垂成，也不見得就比經(jīng)商失敗的人差到哪里去。”

“And what about me?Am I of no importance to you at all?”
“那么我呢？難道我對你一點不重要？”

“You're of very great importance. I want you to marry me.”
“你對我非常重要。我要娶你做新娘呢。”

“When?In ten years?”
“什么時候？十年之內(nèi)嗎？”

“No. Now.As soon as possible.”
“不，現(xiàn)在。越快越好?！?/p>

“On what?Mamma can't afford to give me anything. Besides, she wouldn't if she could.She'd think it wrong to help you to live without doing anything.”
“用什么結婚？媽媽是無法給我嫁妝的。即便她有這個能力，她也不會給的。她覺得縱容你游手好閑是錯誤的?！?/p>

“I wouldn't want to take anything from your mother，”said Larry.“I've got three thousand a year. That's plenty in Paris.We could have a little apartment and a bonne à tout faire.We’d have such a lark, darling.”
“我并不想接受你母親的任何幫助?！崩镎f道，“我每年有三千塊的進項，在巴黎生活綽綽有余。咱們可以租一小套公寓房，雇一個用人，日子會過得很滋潤的，小寶貝?！?/p>

“But, Larry, one can't live on three thousand a year.”
“可是，拉里，一年三千塊過日子是不夠用的?！?/p>

“Of course one can. Lots of people live on much less.”
“夠用肯定是夠用的。很多人錢比這還少，也能過日子?！?/p>

“But I don't want to live on three thousand a year. There's no reason why I should.”
“可是，我不愿意靠一年三千塊錢過日子。我沒必要這樣做。”

“I've been living on half that.”
“我在這兒生活，只用這一半的花銷?！?/p>

“But how！”
“可這叫什么日子！”

She looked at the dingy little room with a shudder of distaste.
她看了看眼前寒磣的斗室，不屑地聳了聳肩。

“It means I've got a bit saved up. We could go down to Capri for our honeymoon and then in the fall we'd go to Greece.I'm crazy to go there.Don't you remember how we used to talk about travelling all over the world together?”
“過這日子，我積攢了一些錢。咱們可以上卡普里島去度蜜月，秋天再去希臘。我渴望去看看希臘。還記得嗎，咱們經(jīng)常說要一起周游世界的？”

“Of course I want to travel. But not like that.I don't want to travel second-class on steamships and put up at third-rate hotels, without a bathroom, and eat at cheap restaurants.”
“旅游我當然是愿意去的，但并非這樣的游法。乘輪船，我不愿住二等艙；住宿，我不愿下榻于三等旅館，那兒連個浴室都沒有；吃飯，我不愿進廉價飯館?！?/p>

“I went all through Italy last October like that. I had a wonderful time.We could travel all over the world on three thousand a year.”
“去年十月，我游歷意大利，恰恰就是這樣去的，不是玩得也挺開心么。靠每年三千塊的進項，咱們完全可以把世界跑個遍。”

“But I want to have babies, Larry.”
“可是，我還想生孩子呢，拉里?！?/p>

“That's all right. We'll take them along with us.”
“這沒有關系。有了孩子，咱們帶他們一起去旅游?！?/p>

“You're so silly，”she laughed.“D'you know what it costs to have a baby?Violet Tomlinson had one last year and she did it as cheaply as she could and it cost her twelve hundred and fifty. And what d'you think a nurse costs?”She grew more vehement as one idea after another occurred to her.“You're so impractical.You don't know what you’re asking me to do.I’m young, I want to have fun.I want to do all the things that people do.I want to go to parties, I want to go to dances, I want to play golf and ride horseback.I want to wear nice clothes.Can’t you imagine what it means to a girl not to be as well dressed as the rest of her crowd?D’you know what it means, Larry, to buy your friends’old dresses when they’re sick of them and be thankful when someone out of pity makes you a present of a new one?I couldn’t even afford to go to a decent hairdresser to have my hair properly done.I don’t want to go about in street-cars and omnibuses；I want to have my own car.And what d’you suppose I’d find to do with myself all day long while you were reading at the Library?Walk about the streets window-shopping or sit in the Luxembourg Garden seeing that my children didn’t get into mischief?We wouldn’t have any friends.”
“你真傻?！彼笮χf，“你知道有個孩子要花多少錢嗎？維奧萊特·湯姆林森去年生了個孩子，盡量省著花，還花掉了兩千五百塊。你知道請個保姆需要多少錢嗎？”她心里想到一連串的事情，越想越情緒激動，“你一點不實際，不知道你要求我過什么樣的日子。我年輕，需要過快樂的生活。我想跟其他人一樣尋求歡樂，去赴宴、跳舞，去打高爾夫球和騎馬。我想穿漂亮的衣服。你能想象得來，一個女孩子家穿戴不如自己的同伴，心里該是什么樣的滋味？把你朋友穿厭了的舊衣服買來穿，或者別人可憐你，把一件新衣服送給你，而你千恩萬謝，拉里呀，你可知道這會叫你心里是什么滋味？那時我甚至于連去一家像樣的理發(fā)店做做頭發(fā)也做不起。我出行可不愿乘坐電車和公共汽車，而是想開自己的汽車。你在圖書館里看書，那你讓我干什么以度過漫長的一天？難道讓我逛馬路、看櫥窗，還是坐在盧森堡博物館的花園里留心自己的孩子不要闖禍？那樣生活，咱們連個朋友都不會有的?！?/p>

“Oh, Isabel，”he interrupted.
“請別這樣，伊莎貝爾！”他打斷她的話頭說道。

“Not the sort of friends I'm used to. Oh yes, Uncle Elliott's friends would ask us now and then for his sake, but we couldn't go because I wouldn't have the clothes to go in, and we wouldn't go because we couldn’t afford to return their hospitality.I don’t want to know a lot of scrubby, unwashed people；I’ve got nothing to say to them and they’ve got nothing to say to me.I want to live, Larry.”She grew suddenly conscious of the look in his eyes, tender as it always was when fixed on her, but gently amused.“You think I’m silly, don’t you?You think I’m being trivial and horrid.”
“不會有我以前的那類朋友。哦，不錯，艾略特舅舅的朋友有時候會看他的面子請請咱們，但咱們?nèi)ゲ怀桑皇且驗闆]有體面的衣服，二是由于咱們回請不起。至于交朋友，我可不愿意認識一大群窮了吧唧、衣衫不整的人。我跟他們無共同語言，他們也跟我無話可說。我需要的是真正的生活，拉里?！闭f到這里，她突然感到他眼睛里有種神情，雖一如既往地溫情脈脈，卻微微含有一絲嘲笑的成分，“你覺得我愚蠢，是不是？你一定覺得我鼠目寸光、蠻不講理?！?/p>

“No, I don't. I think what you say is very natural.”
“不，并非如此。我覺得你說這些話都是很自然的?！?/p>

He was standing with his back to the fireplace, and she got up and went up to him so that they were face to face.
此時，他背對著壁爐站著。她立起身，走到他跟前，和他面對著面。

“Larry, if you hadn't a cent to your name and got a job that brought you in three thousand a year I'd marry you without a minute's hesitation. I'd cook for you, I'd make the beds, I wouldn’t care what I wore, I’d go without anything, I’d look upon it as wonderful fun, because I’d know that it was only a question of time and you’d make good.But this means living in a sordid beastly way all our lives with nothing to look forward to.It means that I should be a drudge to the day of my death.And for what?So that you can spend years trying to find answers to questions that you say yourself are insoluble.It’s so wrong.A man ought to work.That’s what he’s here for.That’s how he contributes to the welfare of the community.”
“拉里，如果你身無分文，卻有一個年收入三千塊的工作，我會毫不遲疑地嫁給你。我會替你燒飯、收拾床鋪，不在乎自己穿什么樣的衣服，什么都不會在乎，就是苦也是苦中有樂，因為我知道這只是一個時間問題，你總會有出頭之日的。可是，現(xiàn)在這樣結婚，就意味著我一輩子要過這種骯臟的豬狗不如的日子，連個盼頭都沒有。這就是說，我要苦熬日月，至死方休。意義何在？而你成年累月為那種連你自己都說無法解答的問題苦苦尋找答案。這真是大錯特錯。一個男子漢，應該去工作。人生的意義就在于此。工作才能夠造福于社會?！?/p>

“In short it's his duty to settle down in Chicago and enter Henry Maturin's business. Do you think that by getting my friends to buy the securities that Henry Maturin is interested in I should add greatly to the welfare of the community?”
“依你之見，我有責任立足于芝加哥，進入亨利·馬圖林的公司。你是不是認為，動員我的朋友買亨利·馬圖林所關心的股票，就是造福于社會呢？”

“There must be brokers and it's a perfectly decent and honourable way of earning a living.”
“經(jīng)紀人的工作是社會所必需的，是一種十分體面、光彩的謀生方式?！?/p>

“You've drawn a very black picture of life in Paris on a moderate income. You know, it isn't really like that.One can dress very nicely without going to Chanel.And all the interesting people don't live in the neighbourhood of the Arc de Triomphe and the Avenue Foch.In fact few interesting people do, because interesting people generally don't have a lot of money.I know quite a number of people here, painters and writers and students, French, English, American, and what not, whom I think you'd find much more amusing than Elliott’s seedy marquises and long-nosed duchesses.You’ve got a quick mind and a lively sense of humour.You’d enjoy hearing them swap ideas across the dinner table even though the wine was only vin ordinaire and you didn’t have a butler and a couple of footmen to wait on you.”
“你把巴黎普通收入人群的生活形容得一塌糊涂。人們用不著上沙諾爾式女裝店，仍舊可以穿得體體面面。并非所有風趣的人都住在凱旋門附近和福煦大街。事實上，住在那兒的風趣的人少之又少，因為風趣的人一般都沒有多少錢。我在這兒認識許多人，有畫家、作家、大學生，有法國人、英國人、美國人，形形色色的。我敢肯定，見了面，你會覺得他們比艾略特的那些乏味的侯爵夫人和傲慢的公爵夫人有意思得多。你思想敏銳，而且富于幽默感。和他們共進晚餐，雖然喝的只是普通的葡萄酒，又沒有一個管家和幾個侍從在跟前伺候，但聽他們指點江山，你會感到是一種享受。”

“Don't be stupid, Larry. Of course I would.You know I'm not a snob.I'd love to meet interesting people.”
“別東拉西扯的，拉里。我當然會喜歡的。你也知道我并不是個勢利小人。我是愿意結交風趣的人的?！?/p>

“Yes, in a Chanel dress. D'you think they wouldn't catch on to it that you looked upon it as a sort of cultured slumming?They wouldn't be at their ease, any more than you would, and you wouldn't get anything out of it except to tell Emily de Montadour and Gracie de Chateau-Gaillard afterwards what fun you’d had meeting a lot of weird bohemians in the Latin Quarter.”
“是呀。如果你穿一身沙諾爾式女裝，他們會不會覺得你氣勢凌人，好像是來視察貧民窟的呢？他們不自在，你恐怕也會如坐針氈的。過后，你可以告訴你的閨密愛米麗·德·蒙塔杜爾和格拉茜·德·夏托加亞爾，說你在拉丁區(qū)結識了一群放蕩不羈的文人，十分好玩，除此之外你將一無所獲?！?/p>

Isabel slightly shrugged her shoulders.
伊莎貝爾聽了微微聳了聳肩。

“I dare say you're right. They're not the sort of people I've been brought up with.They're not the sort of people I have anything in common with.”
“我敢說你講得對。他們不是我自小所熟悉的那種人。我跟他們毫無相同之處?！?/p>

“Where does that leave us?”
“此話從何說起？”

“Just where we started. I've lived in Chicago ever since I can remember.All my friends are there.All my interests are there.I'm at home there.It's where I belong and it's where you belong.Mamma's ill and she’s never going to get any better.I couldn’t leave her even if I wanted to.”
“還是咱們開頭講的。自從記事起，我就一直住在芝加哥。我的朋友以及我所關心的一切全在那兒。在那兒，我感到心情舒坦。那兒就是我的根，也是你的根。媽媽患病在身，永無康復之日。我即便想離開她的身邊，也是做不到的?！?/p>

“Does that mean that unless I'm prepared to come back to Chicago you don't want to marry me?”
“這是不是說除非我回到芝加哥去，否則你就不愿嫁給我了？”

Isabel hesitated. She loved Larry.She wanted to marry him.She wanted him with all the power of her senses.She knew that he desired her.She couldn't believe that when it came to a showdown he wouldn't weaken.She was afraid, but she had to risk it.
伊莎貝爾猶豫了一下。她愛拉里，真心實意想嫁給他。她對他的愛是發(fā)自于肺腑之愛。她很清楚，拉里也愛她。她堅信，一旦攤牌，拉里會軟下來的。她雖然心里也有擔憂，但這個險是必須要冒的。

“Yes, Larry, that's just what it does mean.”
“是的，拉里，事情就是這樣。”

He struck a match on the chimney-piece, one of those old-fashioned French sulphur matches that fill your nostrils with an acrid odour, and lit his pipe. Then, passing her, he went over and stood by one of the windows.He looked out.He was silent for what seemed an endless time.She stood as she had stood before, when she was facing him, and looked in the mirror over the chimney-piece, but she did not see herself.Her heart was beating madly and she was sick with apprehension.He turned at last.
他取出一根火柴——一根老式的法國造硫黃火柴，劃著之后會叫你的鼻孔里充滿嗆人的味道。他把火柴在壁板上劃亮，用它點著了煙斗。隨即，他從她的身旁走過，來到了一扇窗戶跟前，將目光投向外邊。他沉默著，沒完沒了地沉默著。伊莎貝爾站在原地沒動，仍站在剛才面對拉里的地方，眼睛望著壁爐板上的鏡子，對鏡中的自己卻視而不見。她的心狂跳不已，焦慮得都快透不過氣來了。最后，拉里終于轉過了身來。

“I wish I could make you see how much fuller the life I offer you is than anything you have a conception of. I wish I could make you see how exciting the life of the spirit is and how rich in experience.It's illimitable.It's such a happy life.There's only one thing like it, when you're up in a plane by yourself, high, high, and only infinity surrounds you.You're intoxicated by the boundless space.You feel such a sense of exhilaration that you wouldn’t exchange it for all the power and glory in the world.I was reading Descartes the other day.The ease, the grace, the lucidity.Gosh！”
“真希望你能明白，我提供給你的生活要比你想象的充實得多。真希望能讓你知道，精神生活是多么地激動人心，那會是多么豐富的人生經(jīng)歷。精神追求是永無止境的，是一種無比幸福的人生道路。只有一種體驗能與之相比——你乘飛機飛上藍天，越飛越高，越飛越高，周圍什么都沒有，只有無邊無際的太空。無涯的空間讓你為之陶醉。你會產(chǎn)生極度的歡樂——這種歡樂，哪怕把全世界所有的權力和榮譽都給你，你也不肯交換的。前幾天我讀笛卡兒的書，就有這種感覺。他寫得是那樣流暢、優(yōu)美、明晰，叫人不忍釋卷！”

“But Larry，”she interrupted him desperately，“don't you see you're asking something of me that I'm not fitted for, that I'm not interested in and don't want to be interested in?How often have I got to repeat to you that I’m just an ordinary, normal girl. I’m twenty, in ten years I shall be old, I want to have a good time while I have the chance.Oh, Larry, I do love you so terribly.All this is just trifling.It’s not going to lead you anywhere.For your own sake I beseech you to give it up.Be a man, Larry, and do a man’s work.You’re just wasting the precious years that others are doing so much with.Larry, if you love me you won’t give me up for a dream.You’ve had your fling.Come back with us to America.”
“可是，拉里，”伊莎貝爾不顧一切地插話說，“難道你不知道，讓我干自己不感興趣也不想感興趣的事情是強人所難？真不知我對你說過多少遍了，我僅僅是個再普通不過的女孩，今年二十歲，再過十年就變老了，我要抓緊時間及時行樂。拉里呀拉里，我是非常愛你的?？赡悻F(xiàn)在的生活意義不大，不會使你有什么前途的。為了你的前途，我也要懇求你放棄眼前的生活。拉里，活著就應該像個男子漢，應該有所擔當。別人都在只爭朝夕地干事業(yè)，而你卻在糟蹋寶貴的年華。拉里，你要是愛我的話，就不會為了一個夢想而置我于不顧。你已經(jīng)按自己的意愿生活過一段時間了，求你跟我們一起回美國吧?！?/p>

“I can't, darling. It would be death to me.It would be the betrayal of my soul.”
“恕我不能，親愛的。那會叫我生不如死，等于出賣我的靈魂?！?/p>

“Oh, Larry, why d'you talk in that way?That's the way hysterical, highbrow women talk. What does it mean?Nothing.Nothing.Nothing.”
“哎，拉里，何必用那樣的口吻講話呢？只有歇斯底里、賣弄嘴皮子的文人才說如此慷慨激昂的話。這有什么意思呢？一點意思都沒有，只是一派空言?！?/p>

“It happens to mean exactly what I feel，”he answered, his eyes twinkling.
“它反映的恰恰是我內(nèi)心的感受。”他回話時，眨巴了幾下眼睛。

“How can you laugh?Don't you realize this is desperately serious?We've come to the cross-roads and what we do now is going to affect our whole lives.”
“你怎么可以笑呢？你可曾意識到，這是一個極其嚴肅的問題？咱們正站在十字路口，何去何從將會影響你我的一生。”

“I know that. Believe me, I'm perfectly serious.”
“這我清楚。請相信我，我是十分認真的?！?/p>

She sighed.
伊莎貝爾不由嘆了口氣。

“If you won't listen to reason there's nothing more to be said.”
“假如你不聽我講道理，我也就無話可說了?！?/p>

“But I don't think it's reason. I think you've been talking the most terrible nonsense all the time.”
“可我并不認為你在講道理，而是一派荒謬絕倫的胡言亂語。”

“I?”If she hadn't been so miserable she would have laughed.
“你在說我？”如果不是心境凄涼，她一定會哈哈大笑起來的。

“My poor Larry, you're as crazy as a coot.”
“可憐的拉里呀，你簡直太愚蠢了，蠢得百竅不通?！?/p>

She slowly slipped her engagement ring off her finger. She placed it on the palm of her hand and looked at it.It was a square-cut ruby set in a thin platinum band and she had always liked it.
她慢慢把訂婚戒指從手指上摘下來，放在掌心，用眼睛盯著它看。戒指細細的，用白金打造，上面鑲一粒四四方方的紅寶石，她一直視若珍寶。

“If you loved me you wouldn't make me so unhappy.”
“你假如愛我，就不應當使我這樣不快活?！?/p>

“I do love you. Unfortunately sometimes one can't do what one thinks is right without making someone else unhappy.”
“我的確愛你。不幸的是，有時候一個人想要做自己認為對的事情，卻免不了要使別人不快活?！?/p>

She stretched out her hand on which the ruby was resting and forced a smile to her trembling lips.
她把放著紅寶石戒指的手伸出來，顫抖著嘴唇擠出了一個微笑。

“Here you are, Larry.”
“給，還給你吧，拉里。”

“It's no good to me. Won't you keep it as a memento of our friendship?You can wear it on your little finger.Our friendship needn't stop, need it?”
“我用不著。你留下它做個紀念，以紀念你我的友誼，好嗎？你可以把它戴在小拇指上。咱們的友誼沒必要因此而中斷，是不是？”

“I shall always care for you, Larry.”
“我會永遠想著你的，拉里?！?/p>

“Then keep it. I should like you to.”
“那你就留著它。我對你的感情永不會改變?！?/p>

She hesitated for an instant, then put it on the finger of her right hand.
她遲疑了一下，然后把戒指套在了右手的小拇指上。

“It's too large.”
“太大了?！?/p>

“You can have it altered. Let's go to the Ritz bar and have a drink.”
“你可以調整一下。走，咱們?nèi)ダ锎木瓢珊缺??！?/p>

“All right.”
“好的?！?/p>

She was a trifle taken aback that it had all gone so easily. She had not cried.Nothing seemed to be changed except that now she wasn't going to marry Larry.She could hardly believe that everything was over and done with.She resented a little the fact that they hadn't had a terrific scene.They had talked it all over almost as coolly as though they had been discussing the taking of a house.She felt let down, but at the same time was conscious of a slight sense of satisfaction because they had behaved in such a civilized way.She would have given a lot to know exactly what Larry was feeling.But it was always difficult to know that；his smooth face, his dark eyes were a mask that she was aware even she, who had known him for so many years, could not penetrate.She had taken off her hat and laid it on the bed.Now, standing before the mirror, she put it on again.
她感到有點意外，沒想到她和拉里的關系就這么輕輕松松結束了。她沒有為之傷心落淚。除了她將來不會嫁給拉里之外，其他的什么都沒有改變。她簡直不敢相信他們的關系已結束，已畫上了句號。二人沒有吵得臉紅脖子粗，這反倒叫她遺憾。他們心平氣和地把他們的關系做了個了斷，差不多就像談論租房子那樣聲色不變。她雖然覺得有些失望，同時卻也摻雜著一絲半點滿意的心情，因為他們表現(xiàn)得都十分文明。她真想知道拉里究竟是一種什么心態(tài)。可是，要想猜透拉里葫蘆里賣的是什么藥，歷來都是很難的。他那張淡定的臉以及那雙烏黑的眼就是一副面具，即便她這么一個認識他多年的人也難看得穿。她本來把帽子已經(jīng)摘掉，放在了床上；現(xiàn)在站在鏡子前面，將帽子重新戴上。

“Just as a matter of interest，”she said, arranging her hair，“did you want to break our engagement?”
“只是感到好奇，”她一邊說話，一邊用手理了理頭發(fā)，“你是不是早就想解除婚約了？”

“No.”
“沒有?！?/p>

“I thought it might be a relief to you.”He made no reply. She turned round with a gay smile on her lips.“Now I'm ready.”
“我覺得這對你也許會是一種解脫。”見他沒有回應，她嘴角帶著一絲做作的微笑轉過了身去，“我準備好了?！?/p>

Larry locked the door behind him. When he handed the key to the man at the desk he enveloped them both in a look of conniving archness.It was impossible for Isabel not to guess what he thought they had been up to.
拉里出門后將門鎖上。他把鑰匙交給桌子旁坐的那個人時，那人瞅了他們幾眼，目光狡獪，顯得心領神會。伊莎貝爾不可能猜不到他把他們看成了什么貨色。

“I don't believe that old fellow would bet much on my virginity，”she said.
“我敢說那家伙對我的貞操存有滿肚子的懷疑?！彼f。

They took a taxi to the Ritz and had a drink. They spoke of indifferent things, without apparent constraint, like two old friends who saw one another every day.Though Larry was naturally silent, Isabel was a talkative girl, with an ample fund of chit-chat, and she was determined that no silence should fall between them that might be hard to break.She wasn't going to let Larry think she felt any resentment towards him and her pride constrained her to act so that he should not suspect that she was hurt and unhappy.Presently she suggested that he should drive her home.When he dropped her at the door she said to him gaily：
他們乘出租車去里茨喝了杯酒，談些無關痛癢的事，表面上看無拘無束的，就像兩個天天見面的老朋友。盡管拉里天生沉默寡言，伊莎貝爾卻很健談，嘰嘰喳喳把話說了一大簍子。她決心不讓他們中間出現(xiàn)沉默的局面，弄得雙方無話可說。她不想使拉里覺察出她恨他。自尊心使然，她必須強作歡顏，叫對方看不出她受傷、難過的心情。過了一會兒，她提出要他送她回去。當汽車把她送到門前，下車時，她以輕快的語氣對他說：

“Don't forget that you're lunching with us tomorrow.”
“別忘了明天跟我們一起吃午飯?！?/p>

“You bet your life I won't.”
“就是天塌下來也不會忘的?！?/p>

She gave him her cheek to kiss and passed through the porte cochère.
她側過臉，叫他吻了一下，然后就走進了旅館的大門。