An Etching
One afternoon I was sitting outside the Cafe de la Paix, watching the splendour and shabbiness of Parisian life, and wondering over my vermouth at the strange panorama of pride and poverty that was passing before me, when I heard some one call my name. I turned round and saw Lord Murchison. We had not met since we had been at college together, nearly ten years before, so I was delighted to come across him again, and we shook hands warmly. At Oxford we had been great friends. I had liked him immensely, he was so handsome, so high-spirited, and so honourable. We used to say of him that he would be the best of fellows, if he did not always speak the truth, but I think we really admired him all the more for his frankness. I found him a good deal changed. He looked anxious and puzzled, and seemed to be in doubt about something. I felt it could not be modern scepticism, for Murchison was the stoutest of Tories, and believed in the Pentateuch as firmly as he believed in the House of Peers; so I concluded that it was a woman, and asked him if he was married yet.
“I don't understand women well enough,” he answered.
“My dear Gerald,” I said, “women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”
“I cannot love where I cannot trust,” he replied.
“I believe you have a mystery in your life, Gerald,” I exclaimed; “tell me about it.”
“Let us go for a drive,” he answered, “it is too crowded here. No, not a yellow carriage, any other colour——there, that dark green one will do;” and in a few moments we were trotting down the boulevard in the direction of the Madeleine.
“Where shall we go to?” I said.
“Oh, anywhere you like!” he answered——“to the restaurant in the Bois; we will dine there, and you shall tell me all about yourself.”
“I want to hear about you first,” I said. “Tell me your mystery.”
He took from his pocket a little silver-clasped morocco case, and handed it to me. I opened it. Inside there was the photograph of a woman. She was tall and slight, and strangely picturesque with her large vague eyes and loosened hair. She looked like a clairvoyante, and was wrapped in rich furs.
“What do you think of that face?” he said; “is it truthful?”
I examined it carefully. It seemed to me the face of some one who had a secret, but whether that secret was good or evil I could not say. Its beauty was a beauty moulded out of many mysteries——the beauty, in fact, which is psychological, not plastic——and the faint smile that just played across the lips was far too subtle to be really sweet.
“Well,” he cried impatiently, “what do you say?”
“She is the Gioconda in sables,” I answered. “Let me know all about her.”
“Not now,” he said; “after dinner,” and began to talk of other things.
When the waiter brought us our coffee and cigarettes I reminded Gerald of his promise. He rose from his seat, walked two or three times up and down the room, and, sinking into an arm-chair, told me the following story:
“One evening,” he said, “I was walking down Bond Street about five o'clock. There was a terrific crush of carriages, and the traffic was almost stopped. Close to the pavement was standing a little yellow brougham, which, for some reason or other, attracted my attention. As I passed by there looked out from it the face I showed you this afternoon. It fascinated me immediately. All that night I kept thinking of it, and all the next day. I wandered up and down that wretched Row, peering into every carriage, and waiting for the yellow brougham; but I could not find ma belle inconnue, and at last I began to think she was merely a dream. About a week afterwards I was dining with Madame de Rastail. Dinner was for eight o'clock; but at half-past eight we were still waiting in the drawing-room. Finally the servant threw open the door, and announced Lady Alroy. It was the woman I had been looking for. She came in very slowly, looking like a moonbeam in grey lace, and, to my intense delight, I was asked to take her in to dinner. After we had sat down, I remarked quite innocently, ‘I think I caught sight of you in Bond Street some time ago, Lady Alroy.’ She grew very pale, and said to me in a low voice, ‘Pray do not talk so loud; you may be overheard.’ I felt miserable at having made such a bad beginning, and plunged recklessly into the subject of the French plays. She spoke very little, always in the same low musical voice, and seemed as if she was afraid of some one listening. I fell passionately, stupidly in love, and the indefinable atmosphere of mystery that surrounded her excited my most ardent curiosity. When she was going away, which she did very soon after dinner, I asked her if I might call and see her. She hesitated for a moment, glanced round to see if any one was near us, and then said, ‘Yes; to-morrow at a quarter to five.’ I begged Madame de Rastail to tell me about her; but all that I could learn was that she was a widow with a beautiful house in Park Lane, and as some scientific bore began a dissertation on widows, as exemplifying the survival of the matrimonially fittest, I left and went home.
“The next day I arrived at Park Lane punctual to the moment, but was told by the butler that Lady Alroy had just gone out. I went down to the club quite unhappy and very much puzzled, and after long consideration wrote her a letter, asking if I might be allowed to try my chance some other afternoon. I had no answer for several days, but at last I got a little note saying she would be at home on Sunday at four, and with this extraordinary postscript: ‘Please do not write to me here again; I will explain when I see you.’ On Sunday she received me, and was perfectly charming; but when I was going away she begged of me, if I ever had occasion to write to her again, to address my letter to ‘Mrs. Knox, care of Whittaker's Library, Green Street.’ ‘There are reasons,’ she said, ‘why I cannot receive letters in my own house.’
“All through the season I saw a great deal of her, and the atmosphere of mystery never left her. Sometimes I thought she was in the power of some man, but she looked so unapproachable that I could not believe it. It was really very difficult for me to come to any conclusion, for she was like one of those strange crystals that one sees in museums, which are at one moment clear, and at another clouded. At last I determined to ask her to be my wife: I was sick and tired of the incessant secrecy that she imposed on all my visits, and on the few letters I sent her. I wrote to her at the library to ask her if she could see me the following Monday at six. She answered yes, and I was in the seventh heaven of delight. I was infatuated with her: in spite of the mystery, I thought then——in consequence of it, I see now. No; it was the woman herself I loved. The mystery troubled me, maddened me. Why did chance put me in its track?”
“You discovered it, then?” I cried.
“I fear so,” he answered. “You can judge for yourself.”
“When Monday came round I went to lunch with my uncle, and about four o'clock found myself in the Marylebone Road. My uncle, you know, lives in Regent's Park. I wanted to get to Piccadilly, and took a short cut through a lot of shabby little streets. Suddenly I saw in front of me Lady Alroy, deeply veiled and walking very fast. On coming to the last house in the street, she went up the steps, took out a latch-key, and let herself in. ‘Here is the mystery,’ I said to myself; and I hurried on and examined the house. It seemed a sort of place for letting lodgings. On the doorstep lay her handkerchief, which she had dropped. I picked it up and put it in my pocket. Then I began to consider what I should do. I came to the conclusion that I had no right to spy on her, and I drove down to the club. At six I called to see her. She was lying on a sofa, in a tea-gown of silver tissue looped up by some strange moonstones that she always wore. She was looking quite lovely. ‘I am so glad to see you,’ she said; ‘I have not been out all day.’ I stared at her in amazement, and pulling the handkerchief out of my pocket, handed it to her. ‘You dropped this in Cumnor Street this afternoon, Lady Alroy,’ I said very calmly. She looked at me in terror, but made no attempt to take the handkerchief. ‘What were you doing there?’ I asked. ‘What right have you to question me?’ she answered. ‘The right of a man who loves you,’ I replied; ‘I came here to ask you to be my wife.’ She hid her face in her hands, and burst into floods of tears. ‘You must tell me,’ I continued. She stood up, and, looking me straight in the face, said, ‘Lord Murchison, there is nothing to tell you.’ —— ‘You went to meet some one,’ I cried; ‘this is your mystery.’ She grew dreadfully white, and said, ‘I went to meet no one.’ —— ‘Can't you tell the truth?’ I exclaimed. ‘I have told it,’ she replied. I was mad, frantic; I don't know what I said, but I said terrible things to her. Finally I rushed out of the house. She wrote me a letter the next day; I sent it back unopened, and started for Norway with Alan Colville. After a month I came back, and the first thing I saw in the Morning Post was the death of Lady Alroy. She had caught a chill at the Opera, and had died in five days of congestion of the lungs. I shut myself up and saw no one. I had loved her so much, I had loved her so madly. Good God! how I had loved that woman!”
“You went to the street, to the house in it?” I said.
“Yes,” he answered.
“One day I went to Cumnor Street. I could not help it; I was tortured with doubt. I knocked at the door, and a respectable-looking woman opened it to me. I asked her if she had any rooms to let. ‘Well, sir,’ she replied, ‘the drawing-rooms are supposed to be let; but I have not seen the lady for three months, and as rent is owing on them, you can have them.’ —— ‘Is this the lady?’ I said, showing the photograph. ‘That's her, sure enough,’ she exclaimed; ‘a(chǎn)nd when is she coming back, sir?’ —— ‘The lady is dead,’ I replied.‘Oh, sir, I hope not!’ said the woman; ‘she was my best lodger. She paid me three guineas a week merely to sit in my drawing-rooms now and then.’ —— ‘She met some one here?’ I said; but the woman assured me that it was not so, that she always came alone, and saw no one. ‘What on earth did she do here?’ I cried. ‘She simply sat in the drawing-room, sir, reading books, and sometimes had tea,’ the woman answered. I did not know what to say, so I gave her a sovereign and went away. Now, what do you think it all meant? You don't believe the woman was telling the truth?”
“I do.”
“Then why did Lady Alroy go there?”
“My dear Gerald,” I answered, “Lady Alroy was simply a woman with a mania for mystery. She took these rooms for the pleasure of going there with her veil down, and imagining she was a heroine. She had a passion for secrecy, but she herself was merely a Sphinx without a secret.”
“Do you really think so?”
“I am sure of it,” I replied.
He took out the morocco case, opened it, and looked at the photograph. “I wonder?” he said at last.
——一幅蝕刻版畫
一天下午,我正坐在和平咖啡館外面,望著巴黎生活的光鮮與寒酸,一邊喝著苦艾酒,一邊對(duì)從我面前經(jīng)過的這幅榮華與貧困交織的圖景感到驚奇,這時(shí)我聽到有人叫我的名字。我轉(zhuǎn)過身,看到是默奇森勛爵。將近十年前,我們?cè)谝黄鹕线^大學(xué)。從那以來,我們沒有見過面,所以我很高興跟他再次相逢,我們熱情握手。在牛津,我們?cè)?jīng)是要好的朋友。我當(dāng)時(shí)非常喜歡他,他是那么瀟灑漂亮、意氣風(fēng)發(fā),那么值得尊敬。過去我們經(jīng)常說,他要不是總說真話,就會(huì)是最出色的伙伴,但我覺得我們實(shí)際上格外佩服他的坦率。我發(fā)現(xiàn)他改變了好多。他一副焦慮困惑的樣子,似乎對(duì)某件事兒疑神疑鬼。我覺得這不可能是現(xiàn)代的多疑癖,因?yàn)槟嫔亲顖?jiān)定的保守黨人,對(duì)參議院的信仰就像對(duì)《摩西五經(jīng)》的信仰一樣堅(jiān)定。于是,我得出了結(jié)論,其原因在于一個(gè)女人,就問他結(jié)沒結(jié)婚。
“我對(duì)女人還不夠了解?!彼鸬?。
“我親愛的杰拉德,”我說,“女人是要被愛的,而不是要被了解的?!?/p>
“如果不能信任,我就沒法去愛。”他答道。
“杰拉德,我相信你在生活中有一個(gè)秘密,”我大聲說道,“告訴我是怎么回事。”
“我們坐車去兜風(fēng)吧,”他回答說,“這里太擠了。不,不是黃車,其他任何顏色都可以——瞧,那輛深綠色的就行?!辈灰粫?huì)兒,我們順著林蔭大道朝馬德琳教堂方向一路駛?cè)ァ?/p>
“我們要到哪里去?”我問。
“噢,你喜歡去哪里就去哪里!”他回答道,“去布洛涅森林的餐廳。我們?nèi)ツ抢锍燥?,你要把自己所有的一切都告訴我?!?/p>
“我想先聽聽你的情況,”我說,“把你的秘密告訴我?!?/p>
他從口袋里掏出一只帶有小銀扣鉤的摩洛哥羊皮盒子遞給我。我打開盒子,里面有一張女人的照片。細(xì)高的身材,迷蒙的大眼,松散的頭發(fā),有一種奇異之美。她看上去仿佛有一雙通靈般的眼睛,身上裹著昂貴的皮衣。
“你覺得那張臉怎么樣?”他問,“它看上去坦誠嗎?”
我仔細(xì)觀察。在我看來,這是一個(gè)藏有秘密的人的臉,但那個(gè)秘密是好是壞,我卻說不上來。它的美是一種由許多秘密塑造成的美——實(shí)際上,那種美是心理上的美,而不是造型上的美——嘴唇剛好浮起的淡淡微笑過于微妙,稱不上真正的甜美。
“好吧,”他不耐煩地嚷道,“你以為如何?”
“她是身穿黑貂皮的喬孔達(dá),”我回答說,“告訴我有關(guān)她的所有情況。”
“不是現(xiàn)在,”他說,“晚飯后吧。”隨后他就開始談?wù)撈渌虑椤?/p>
當(dāng)侍者給我們送來了咖啡和香煙的時(shí)候,我提醒杰拉德記住自己的諾言。他從座位上站起身,在房間里走了兩三個(gè)來回,然后一屁股坐進(jìn)扶手椅,給我講了下面的故事:
“一天傍晚,”他說,“五點(diǎn)鐘左右,我正沿著邦德街散步。當(dāng)時(shí),馬車堵得要死,交通幾乎癱瘓??拷诵械劳V惠v黃色小馬車。出于這樣或那樣的原因,它吸引了我的注意。當(dāng)我經(jīng)過那里的時(shí)候,那張臉正從里往外看,就是今天下午我讓你看的那張臉。它立刻就迷住了我。整個(gè)晚上,還有第二天整整一天,我都在不停地想著它。我徘徊在那條擁擠不堪的街上,窺視著每一輛馬車,等待著那輛黃色馬車??墒?,我找不到我的陌生美人。最后,我漸漸地覺得她只是一場(chǎng)夢(mèng)。大約一個(gè)星期后,我要跟德·拉斯提爾夫人共進(jìn)晚餐。晚餐定于八點(diǎn)鐘。但到了八點(diǎn)半,我們還在客廳里等待著。最后,仆人猛地打開了門,宣布阿爾羅伊夫人駕到。這就是我一直在尋找的那個(gè)女人。她慢悠悠地走了進(jìn)來,看上去猶如一道鑲著灰色花邊的月光,而且,讓我歡天喜地的是,她請(qǐng)我?guī)M(jìn)去吃飯。我們坐下來之后,我十分直率地說道:‘我想,不久前,我在邦德街瞥見過你,阿爾羅伊夫人?!樕钒?,用很低的聲音對(duì)我說:‘請(qǐng)不要這么大聲說話,也許會(huì)讓別人聽到?!覍?duì)自己開了個(gè)差勁的頭而感覺糟糕,接著就自顧自地談起了法國戲劇這個(gè)話題。她說話很少,總是以相同的低沉悅耳的聲音說話,好像她是怕有人在聽似的。我熱烈而又愚蠢地墮入了情網(wǎng),包圍著她的神秘莫名的氣氛引起了我最強(qiáng)烈的好奇心。晚飯后不久,當(dāng)她要離開的時(shí)候,我問她,我可不可以去拜訪她。她猶豫了一會(huì)兒,環(huán)顧四周,看有沒有人在我們周圍,然后說道:‘可以,明天四點(diǎn)四十五分?!覒┣蟮隆だ固釥柗蛉烁嬖V我有關(guān)她的情況,但我所能了解到的一切就是,她是一位寡婦,在公園路有一座漂亮的房子。某個(gè)無聊的家伙開始從科學(xué)的角度就寡婦這個(gè)話題發(fā)表一番長(zhǎng)篇大論,舉例論證婚姻中優(yōu)勝劣汰、適者生存,于是我就告辭回家去了。
“第二天,我準(zhǔn)時(shí)到達(dá)了公園路,但管家告訴我說,阿爾羅伊夫人剛剛出去了。我悶悶不樂,百思不解,去了俱樂部,經(jīng)過一番考慮后給她寫了一封信,詢問我可不可以獲準(zhǔn)改天下午去試試運(yùn)氣。我好幾天沒有得到回復(fù),但最后收到了一個(gè)小紙條,上面寫著她星期天下午四點(diǎn)鐘會(huì)在家里,還有一段奇怪的附言,‘請(qǐng)不要再往這里給我寫信。我見到你的時(shí)候會(huì)解釋的。’星期天,她接待了我,真是千嬌百媚。而當(dāng)我要離開的時(shí)候,她懇求我說,如果我有機(jī)會(huì)再次給她寫信,就要‘由格林大街惠特克圖書館諾克斯太太轉(zhuǎn)交’?!也荒茉谧约旱姆孔永锸招攀怯性虻??!f。
“那一季,我見了她很多次,而神秘的氣氛從來沒有離開過她。有時(shí)候,我覺得她是在某個(gè)人的控制下,但看上去她是那樣難以接近,我無法確定。這真是很難讓我下任何結(jié)論,因?yàn)樗拖袢藗冊(cè)诓┪镳^里看到的一種奇異水晶,時(shí)而清晰,時(shí)而模糊。最終,我決定娶她做我的妻子:她對(duì)我的所有拜訪和寄給她的幾封信都一直保密,這些我都厭倦透了。我往她給的圖書館地址給她寫信,問她下星期一晚上六點(diǎn)鐘能不能見我。她的回答是肯定的,我開心極了。我對(duì)她心醉神迷:盡管她很神秘,但我當(dāng)時(shí)還是想——離明了一切的那天不遠(yuǎn)了。不,我愛的是這個(gè)女人本身。她有一個(gè)秘密困擾著我,使我發(fā)瘋。為什么碰巧要讓我撞上呢?”
“這么說,是你發(fā)現(xiàn)了那個(gè)秘密?”我嚷道。
“恐怕是這樣,”他回答說,“你可以自己判斷?!?/p>
“星期一的時(shí)候,我跟我叔叔一起吃午飯,之后四點(diǎn)鐘左右走到馬里波恩路。你知道,我叔叔住在攝政公園。我想要去皮卡迪利大街,就穿過許多破舊的小街走了捷徑。突然,我看到阿爾羅伊夫人出現(xiàn)在我面前,只見她戴著厚厚的面紗,走得很快。到達(dá)大街上的最后一座房子的時(shí)候,她走上臺(tái)階,掏出一把彈簧鎖鑰匙,自己走了進(jìn)去?!孛芫驮谶@里?!易匝宰哉Z,匆匆往前,仔細(xì)察看了房子。這好像是一個(gè)出租房間的地方。門前的臺(tái)階上躺著她掉落的手帕。我把它撿起來,裝進(jìn)了口袋,隨后開始考慮我應(yīng)該做什么。我最后得出結(jié)論,我沒有權(quán)利暗自監(jiān)視她,就乘車去了俱樂部。到了六點(diǎn)鐘,我去看望她。只見她躺在沙發(fā)上,身穿銀色薄紗茶禮服,上面裝飾著她喜歡的奇異月光石。她十分可愛?!液芨吲d見到你,’她說,‘我一整天都沒出門?!殷@訝地盯著她,從口袋里掏出那塊手帕,遞給她?!柫_伊夫人,你今天下午把這個(gè)掉在了卡姆納街上?!移叫撵o氣地說。她恐懼地望著我,但沒有接手帕?!惝?dāng)時(shí)在那里干什么?’我問。‘你有什么權(quán)利盤問我?’她反問道。‘是一個(gè)愛你的人的權(quán)利,’我回答說,‘我到這里是來請(qǐng)你做我的妻子的。’她把臉埋在雙手里,淚如泉涌?!阋欢ㄒ嬖V我?!依^續(xù)說道。她站起來,直視著我的臉,說道:‘默奇森勛爵,我沒有什么可以告訴你的。’——‘你去會(huì)見某個(gè)人,’我嚷道,‘這就是你的秘密?!樕椎每膳拢f道:‘我沒有去會(huì)見任何人。’——‘難道你不能說實(shí)話嗎?’我大聲嚷道?!艺f的就是實(shí)話。’她答道。我發(fā)瘋發(fā)狂,不知道當(dāng)時(shí)說了什么,但我對(duì)她說了糟糕的話。最后,我沖出了那個(gè)房子。第二天,她給我寫了一封信。我沒有拆開就把信寄了回去,然后跟艾倫·科爾維爾啟程前往挪威。一個(gè)月后,我返回巴黎,在《晨郵報(bào)》上看到的第一件事就是阿爾羅伊夫人的死訊。她在歌劇院受寒,五天后死于肺部充血。我把自己關(guān)起來,誰也不見。我曾經(jīng)是如此愛她,我曾經(jīng)那樣瘋狂地愛她。天哪!我曾經(jīng)多么愛那個(gè)女人??!”
“你后來又去那條街的房子了嗎?”我問。
“去了?!彼卮?。
“有一天,我去了卡姆納街。我沒辦法不去,疑問折磨著我。我敲了敲門,一位模樣可敬的女士給我打開了門。我問她有沒有房間出租?!?,先生,’她回答說,‘客廳應(yīng)該可以出租。可是,我三個(gè)月都沒有看到那位太太了,這房間都還欠著租金,不過你可以租?!沁@位太太嗎?’我拿出照片說?!翢o疑問,就是她,’她大聲說道,‘她什么時(shí)候回來,先生?’‘這位太太死了。’我回答?!蓿壬?,真遺憾!’那個(gè)女人說,‘她是我最好的房客。她每星期付給我三幾尼,只是不時(shí)地在我的客廳里坐坐。’——‘她在這里見過什么人嗎?’我問道??墒牵莻€(gè)女人向我保證說情況不是這樣,她總是獨(dú)自前來,沒有見過什么人。‘她到底在這里做什么呢?’我嚷道?!壬皇亲诳蛷d里,看看書,有時(shí)喝喝茶?!莻€(gè)女人回答說。我不知道該說什么,于是給了她一金鎊就走了。現(xiàn)在,你認(rèn)為這一切是什么意思?你難道不相信那個(gè)女人當(dāng)時(shí)說的是真話嗎?”
“我相信?!?/p>
“這么說,阿爾羅伊夫人為什么去那里?”
“我親愛的杰拉德,”我回答說,“阿爾羅伊夫人只是一個(gè)熱衷于營(yíng)造神秘感的女人。她租這些房間,是為了戴著面紗來這里,想象自己是一個(gè)女主角。她對(duì)于神秘感無比狂熱,但她自己不過是一個(gè)沒有秘密的斯芬克斯?!?/p>
“你真這樣想嗎?”
“這一點(diǎn)我可以肯定?!蔽掖鸬?。
他掏出摩洛哥羊皮盒子,打開來,看著那張照片?!笆沁@樣嗎?”他最后說道。
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