It was exactly as if they could say“Neither of us has anything: we shall be poor together”—just as delightful that they should be rich instead. It gave them the same communion of adventure. Yet when Anson got leave in April, and Paula and her mother accompanied him North, she was impressed with the standing of his family in New York and with the scale on which they lived. Alone with Anson for the first time in the rooms where he had played as a boy, she was filled with a comfortable emotion, as though she were pre-eminently safe and taken care of. The pictures of Anson in a skull cap at his first school, of Anson on horseback with the sweetheart of a mysterious forgotten summer, of Anson in a gay group of ushers and bridesmaid at a wedding, made her jealous of his life apart from her in the past, and so completely did his authoritative person seem to sum up and typify these possessions of his that she was inspired with the idea of being married immediately and returning to Pensacola as his wife.
But an immediate marriage wasn't discussed—even the engagement was to be secret until after the war. When she realized that only two days of his leave remained, her dissatisfaction crystallized in the intention of making him as unwilling to wait as she was. They were driving to the country for dinner, and she determined to force the issue that night.
Now a cousin of Paula's was staying with them at the Ritz, a severe, bitter girl who loved Paula but was somewhat jealous of her impressive engagement, and as Paula was late in dressing, the cousin, who wasn't going to the party, received Anson in the parlor of the suite.
Anson had met friends at five o'clock and drunk freely and indiscreetly with them for an hour. He left the Yale Club at a proper time, and his mother's chauffeur drove him to the Ritz, but his usual capacity was not in evidence, and the impact of the steam-heated sitting-room made him suddenly dizzy. He knew it, and he was both amused and sorry.
Paula's cousin was twenty-five, but she was exceptionally na?ve, and at first failed to realize what was up. She had never met Anson before, and she was surprised when he mumbled strange information and nearly fell off his chair, but until Paula appeared it didn't occur to her that what she had taken for the odor of a dry-cleaned uniform was really whiskey. But Paula understood as soon as she appeared; her only thought was to get Anson away before her mother saw him, and at the look in her eyes the cousin understood too.
When Paula and Anson descended to the limousine they found two men inside, both asleep; they were the men with whom he had been drinking at the Yale Club, and they were also going to the party. He had entirely forgotten their presence in the car. On the way to Hempstead they awoke and sang. Some of the songs were rough, and though Paula tried to reconcile herself to the fact that Anson had few verbal inhibitions, her lips tightened with shame and distaste.
Back at the hotel the cousin, confused and agitated, considered the incident, and then walked into Mrs. Legendre's bedroom, saying: “Isn't he funny?”
“Who is funny?”
“Why—Mr. Hunter. He seemed so funny.”
Mrs. Legendre looked at her sharply.
“How is he funny?”
“Why, he said he was French. I didn't know he was French.”
“That's absurd. You must have misunderstood.” She smiled: “It was a joke.”
The cousin shook her head stubbornly.
“No. He said he was brought up in France. He said he couldn't speak any English, and that's why he couldn't talk to me. And he couldn't!”
Mrs. Legendre looked away with impatience just as the cousin added thoughtfully, “Perhaps it was because he was so drunk,” and walked out of the room.
This curious report was true. Anson, finding his voice thick and uncontrollable, had taken the unusual refuge of announcing that he spoke no English. Years afterward he used to tell that part of the story, and he invariably communicated the uproarious laughter which the memory aroused in him.
Five times in the next hour Mrs. Legendre tried to get Hempstead on the phone. When she succeeded, there was a ten-minute delay before she heard Paula's voice on the wire.
“Cousin Jo told me Anson was intoxicated.”
“Oh, no.…”
“Oh, yes. Cousin Jo says he was intoxicated. He told her he was French, and fell off his chair and behaved as if he was very intoxicated. I don't want you to come home with him.”
“Mother, he's all right! Please don't worry about—”
“But I do worry. I think it's dreadful. I want you to promise me not to come home with him.”
“I'll take care of it, mother.…”
“I don't want you to come home with him.”
“All right, mother. Good-by.”
“Be sure now, Paula. Ask some one to bring you.”
Deliberately Paula took the receiver from her ear and hung it up. Her face was flushed with helpless annoyance. Anson was stretched asleep out in a bedroom up-stairs, while the dinner-party below was proceeding lamely toward conclusion.
The hour's drive had sobered him somewhat—his arrival was merely hilarious—and Paula hoped that the evening was not spoiled, after all, but two imprudent cocktails before dinner completed the disaster. He talked boisterously and somewhat offensively to the party at large for fifteen minutes, and then slid silently under the table; like a man in an old print—but, unlike an old print, it was rather horrible without being at all quaint. None of the young girls present remarked upon the incident—it seemed to merit only silence. His uncle and two other men carried him up-stairs, and it was just after this that Paula was called to the phone.
An hour later Anson awoke in a fog of nervous agony, through which he perceived after a moment the figure of his uncle Robert standing by the door.
“…I said are you better?”
“What?”
“Do you feel better, old man?”
“Terrible,” said Anson.
“I'm going to try you on another bromo-seltzer. If you can hold it down, it'll do you good to sleep.”
With an effort Anson slid his legs from the bed and stood up.
“I'm all right,” he said dully.
“Take it easy.”
“I thin' if you gave me a glassbrandy I could go down-stairs.”
“Oh, no—”
“Yes, that's the only thin'. I'm all right now.…I suppose I'm in Dutch dow' there.”
“They know you're a little under the weather,” said his uncle deprecatingly. “But don't worry about it. Schuyler didn't even get here. He passed away in the locker-room over at the Links.”
Indifferent to any opinion, except Paula's, Anson was nevertheless determined to save the débris of the evening, but when after a cold bath he made his appearance most of the party had already left. Paula got up immediately to go home.
In the limousine the old serious dialogue began. She had known that he drank, she admitted, but she had never expected anything like this—it seemed to her that perhaps they were not suited to each other, after all. Their ideas about life were too different, and so forth. When she finished speaking, Anson spoke in turn, very soberly. Then Paula said she'd have to think it over; she wouldn't decide to-night; she was not angry but she was terribly sorry. Nor would she let him come into the hotel with her, but just before she got out of the car she leaned and kissed him unhappily on the cheek.
The next afternoon Anson had a long talk with Mrs. Legendre while Paula sat listening in silence. It was agreed that Paula was to brood over the incident for a proper period and then, if mother and daughter thought it best, they would follow Anson to Pensacola. On his part he apologized with sincerity and dignity—that was all; with every card in her hand Mrs. Legendre was unable to establish any advantage over him. He made no promises, showed no humility, only delivered a few serious comments on life which brought him off with rather a moral superiority at the end. When they came South three weeks later, neither Anson in his satisfaction nor Paula in her relief at the reunion realized that the psychological moment had passed forever.
這種情況的確好像是他們都說“我們倆都一無所有,就在一起受窮吧”——而結(jié)果反而令人驚喜,他們都非常富有。這同樣給了他們冒險的情感體驗。四月份,安森離開的時候,寶拉和她母親陪他去北方,他家在紐約的地位以及他們的房產(chǎn)規(guī)模都給她留下了深刻的印象。第一次單獨和安森待在他從小在里面玩耍的房間里,她有一種賓至如歸的舒適感,好像特別安全,并感到備受呵護。安森剛上學時的那張戴著骷髏帽的照片,在那個神秘的、已經(jīng)想不起是哪年夏天照的和小情人騎在馬背上的照片,在婚禮上和一群快樂的迎賓員以及女儐相的合照,都使她對未能參與他過去的生活而心生妒意。似乎他背后有一個人,完全有權(quán)把他過去的生活進行總結(jié),再把這幾個場景作為典型擺在她的面前,促使她恨不得馬上嫁給他,讓她以妻子的名義回到彭薩科拉去。
但是他們并沒有談及馬上結(jié)婚的事——就連訂婚也要悄悄地進行,戰(zhàn)爭結(jié)束后才能公開。當她意識到再有兩天他就要離開的時候,她再也掩飾不住她的不滿,她希望他和她一樣,迫不及待地想要結(jié)婚。他們正驅(qū)車去鄉(xiāng)下吃晚飯,她決定當晚就想辦法逼他亮明態(tài)度。
這時候,寶拉的一個表姐和他們一起住在麗茲酒店。她是個刻薄、愛記仇的女孩,她愛寶拉,但又有點嫉妒她那令人艷羨的婚約。寶拉因為要梳妝打扮,所以會遲來一會兒,這位表姐不去參加派對,于是就由她在套房的客廳里接待安森。
五點鐘,安森去見了幾個朋友,和他們隨心所欲地喝了半個小時的酒。他準時離開耶魯俱樂部,他母親的司機開車把他送到麗茲酒店。然而他平常那股子神氣活現(xiàn)的精神勁兒消失了,再加上客廳里的暖氣立刻讓他頭暈目眩。這一點他能感覺得到,他覺得又好玩又抱歉。
寶拉的表姐二十五歲了,卻特別幼稚。一開始,她沒看出來是怎么回事。她以前從來沒有見過安森,她非常吃驚地聽著他咕咕噥噥地說著胡話,看著他幾乎從椅子上摔下去。但是直到寶拉出來的時候,她才明白,她原以為是他的軍裝干洗后殘留的氣味實際上卻是威士忌的味道。不過,寶拉一出來就明白是怎么回事了,她只想趁母親還沒有看見,趕快把他弄走,表姐從她的眼神里也看出了這一點。
寶拉和安森下了樓,來到那輛豪華轎車旁,卻發(fā)現(xiàn)里面坐著兩個人,都睡著了。他們剛才和安森一起在耶魯俱樂部里喝酒,也要去參加派對。他把他們倆還在車上這件事忘得干干凈凈。在去漢普斯泰德的路上,他們倆醒了,開始唱起歌來。有幾首歌很粗俗,好在安森沒說什么丟臉的話,寶拉才勉力克制住自己,盡管如此,她還是由于難堪和厭惡而緊緊地閉著嘴巴。
表姐回到酒店,又困惑又生氣,把這件事又想了一遍,然后走進勒讓德太太的臥室,說道:“他是不是很可笑?”
“誰很可笑???”
“哦——是亨特先生。他看起來很可笑?!?/p>
勒讓德太太目光凌厲地看著她。
“他怎么可笑了?。俊?/p>
“呃,他說他是法國人。我以前可沒聽說過他是法國人?!?/p>
“胡說,你一定是聽錯了?!彼χf,“那是句玩笑話吧?!?/p>
表姐固執(zhí)地搖搖頭。
“不是玩笑話。他說他在法國長大,連一句英語也不會說,所以他不能和我談話。而且他的確不能!”
勒讓德太太生氣地將臉扭到一邊,偏偏在這個時候,表姐若有所思地加了句:“也許是因為他醉得不成樣子了吧?!闭f罷便走出了房間。
這通莫名其妙的話說得倒是事實。安森意識到自己聲音含混不清,又控制不住自己,就找了個莫名其妙的借口,聲稱自己不會說英語。幾年后,他還常常講起這件事,而且只要想起這件事,他就忍不住放聲大笑。
在接下來的一個小時內(nèi),勒讓德太太打了五次電話,漢普斯泰德那邊都沒有人接聽。最后終于打通了,可是等了十分鐘,她才在電話里聽到寶拉的聲音。
“你喬表姐對我說,安森喝醉了。”
“哦,他沒……”
“嗯,他是醉了。你喬表姐說他醉了。他對她說他是法國人,還從椅子上摔倒了,看樣子他還醉得不輕呢。我不希望你和他一起回來。”
“媽媽,他沒事的!請不要擔心——”
“可是我的確很擔心啊。而且我覺得糟糕透了。希望你答應我,別和他一起回來?!?/p>
“我會小心的,媽媽……”
“我不許你把他帶回來?!?/p>
“好吧,媽媽。再見?!?/p>
“聽著,寶拉,你務必答應我,找個人送你回來?!?/p>
寶拉故意把話筒從耳邊拿開,掛斷了電話。她因為無計可施而急得滿臉通紅。安森直挺挺地躺在樓上的臥室里,而樓下的晚宴派對在別別扭扭的氣氛中接近了尾聲。
一個小時的車程讓他清醒了許多——他的到來只不過是一場鬧劇——寶拉原本只是希望不要破壞了晚上的氣氛,然而晚飯前他又不知輕重地喝了兩杯雞尾酒,最終釀成了這不可收拾的局面。他唐突無理地當著眾人大聲嚷嚷了一刻鐘的時間,然后一聲不吭地癱倒到桌子下面去了。他像是一幅老版畫中的一個人物——可是又不像是一幅老版畫,因為他的樣子很糟糕,沒有一點斯文古雅的感覺。來參加晚宴的姑娘們沒有人對此事評頭論足——只有沉默以對。他叔叔和另外兩個男人把他抬到樓上,他剛被弄到樓上,寶拉就被電話叫走了。
一個小時后,安森感到渾身難受,迷迷糊糊地醒來了,過了一會兒,他模模糊糊地看見羅伯特叔叔的身影站在門口。
“——我說,你好點了嗎?”
“什么?”
“您老覺得好點了嗎?”
“糟透了?!卑采f道。
“我準備再給你弄一杯蘇打水,里面放些鎮(zhèn)靜劑。你喝下去試試看,這有助于睡眠。”
安森費力地將腿從床上挪了下來,站起身。
“我沒事?!彼眭铬傅卣f道。
“放松點?!?/p>
“我說,你能不能給我拿杯白蘭地,我想到樓下去?!?/p>
“哦,這可不行——”
“沒事,只能喝點白蘭地解解悶了,我現(xiàn)在沒事了……我想,樓下的人肯定都不想見我了。”
“他們知道你有點不舒服,”他叔叔言不由衷地說,“不過別擔心,斯凱勒甚至都沒來,他在高爾夫球場的衣帽間里消磨時間呢?!?/p>
他只在乎寶拉的想法,其他人怎么想他都無所謂。盡管他下定決心挽回晚上的殘局,但是當他沖了個涼水澡露面的時候,參加派對的人大部分都已經(jīng)走了。寶拉立刻起身回家。
在豪華轎車里,他們又開始像以前那樣一本正經(jīng)地聊起來。她承認她知道他喝多了,但是她怎么也想不到事情會弄成這樣——她覺得他們也許根本就不合適。他們的人生觀差別太大,諸如此類,不一而足。她說完了,輪到安森說話了,他已經(jīng)很清醒了。然后,寶拉接著說,她得好好考慮考慮;今天晚上她不能做出決定;她不是生氣,她只是特別遺憾。她也不讓他和她一起進酒店,但是在下車之前,她把身子靠過來,一臉不高興地在他的面頰上吻了一下。
第二天下午,安森和勒讓德太太進行了一次長談,寶拉坐在旁邊默默地傾聽著。她的意見是,讓寶拉對這件事再仔細考慮一段時間,然后,如果母女倆都覺得這是最好的選擇,她們就會跟隨安森去彭薩科拉。安森這方面,他真誠而不失尊嚴地表達了歉意——僅此而已;勒讓德太太打出了手中的每一張牌,也沒能在氣勢上占據(jù)上風。他不做承諾,不卑不亢,最后只是鄭重其事地發(fā)表了幾句對人生的看法,最終以壓倒性的精神優(yōu)勢大功告成。三個禮拜后,當她們來到南方時,對于他們的重歸于好,安森感到心滿意足,寶拉感到如釋重負,然而他們誰也沒有意識到,他們在心靈上的契合與共鳴已經(jīng)一去不復返了。