Within ten minutes after Curtis Carlyle's interview with a very frightened engineer the yacht Narcissus was under way, steaming south through a balmy tropical twilight. The little mulatto, Babe, who seems to have Carlyle's implicit confidence, took full command of the situation. Mr. Farnam's valet and the chef, the only members of the crew on board except the engineer, having shown fight, were now reconsidering, strapped securely to their bunks below. Trombone Mose, the biggest negro, was set busy with a can of paint obliterating the name Narcissus from the bow, and substituting the name Hula Hula, and the others congregated aft and became intently involved in a game of craps.
Having given order for a meal to be prepared and served on deck at seven-thirty, Carlyle rejoined Ardita, and, sinking back into his settee, half closed his eyes and fell into a state of profound abstraction.
Ardita scrutinized him carefully—and classed him immedialely as a romantic figure. He gave the effect of towering self-confidence erected on a slight foundation—just under the surface of each of his decisions she discerned a hesitancy that was in decided contrast to the arrogant curl of his lips.
“He's not like me,” she thought. “There's a difference somewhere.”
Being a supreme egotist Ardita frequently thought about herself; never having had her egotism disputed she did it entirely naturally and with no detraction from her unquestioned charm. Though she was nineteen she gave the effect of a high-spirited precocious child, and in the present glow of her youth and beauty all the men and women she had known were but driftwood on the ripples of her temperament. She had met other egotists—in fact she found that selfish people bored her rather less than unselfish people—but as yet there had not been one she had not eventually defeated and brought to her feet.
But though she recognized an egotist in the settee next to her, she felt none of that usual shutting of doors in her mind which meant clearing ship for action; on the contrary her instinct told her that this man was somehow completely pregnable and quite defenseless. When Ardita defied convention—and of late it had been her chief amusement—it was from an intense desire to be herself, and she felt that this man, on the contrary, was preoccupied with his own defiance.
She was much more interested in him than she was in her own situation, which affected her as the prospect of a matineé might affect a ten-year-old child. She had implicit confidence in her ability to take care of herself under any and all circumstances.
The night deepened. A pale new moon smiled misty-eyed upon the sea, and as the shore faded dimly out and dark clouds were blown like leaves along the far horizon a great haze of moonshine suddenly bathed the yacht and spread an avenue of glittering mail in her swift path. From time to time there was the bright flare of a match as one of them lighted a cigarette, but except for the low undertone of the throbbing engines and the even wash of the waves about the stern the yacht was quiet as a dream boat star-bound through the heavens. Round them bowed the smell of the night sea, bringing with it an infinite languor.
Carlyle broke the silence at last.
“Lucky girl,” he sighed, “I've always wanted to be rich—and buy all this beauty.”
Ardita yawned.
“I'd rather be you,” she said frankly.
“You would—for about a day. But you do seem to possess a lot of nerve for a flapper.”
“I wish you wouldn't call me that.”
“Beg your pardon.”
“As to nerve,” she continued slowly, “it's my one redeemiug feature. I'm not afraid of anything in heaven or earth.”
“Hm, I am.”
“To be afraid,” said Ardita, “a person has either to be very great and strong—or else a coward. I'm neither.” She paused for a moment, and eagerness crept into her tone. “But I want to talk about you. What on earth have you done—and how did you do it?”
“Why?” he demanded cynically. “Going to write a movie, about me?”
“Go on,” she urged. “Lie to me by the moonlight. Do a fabulous story.”
A negro appeared, switched on a string of small lights under the awning, and began setting the wicker table for supper. And while they ate cold sliced chicken, salad, artichokes and strawberry jam from the plentiful larder below, Carlyle began to talk, hesitatingly at first, but eagerly as he saw she was interested. Ardita scarcely touched her food as she watched his dark young face—handsome, ironic, faintly ineffectual.
He began life as a poor kid in a Tennessee town, he said, so poor that his people were the only white family in their street. He never remembered any white children—but there were inevitably a dozen pickaninnies streaming in his trail, passionate admirers whom he kept in tow by the vividness of his imagination and the amount of trouble he was always getting them in and out of. And it seemed that this association diverted a rather unusual musical gift into a strange channel.
There had been a colored woman named Belle Pope Calhoun who played the piano at parties given for white children—nice white children that would have passed Curtis Carlyle with a sniff. But the ragged little“poh white”used to sit beside her piano by the hour and try to get in an alto with one of those kazoos that boys hum through. Before he was thirteen he was picking up a living teasing ragtime out of a battered violin in little cafés round Nashville. Eight years later the ragtime craze hit the country, and he took six darkies on the Orpheum circuit. Five of them were boys he had grown up with; the other was the little mulatto, Babe Divine, who was a wharf nigger round New York, and long before that a plantation hand in Bermuda, until he stuck an eight-inch stiletto in his master's back. Almost before Carlyle realized his good fortune he was on Broadway, with offers of engagements on all sides, and more money than he had ever dreamed of.
It was about then that a change began in his whole attitude, a rather curious, embittering change. It was when he realized that he was spending the golden years of his life gibbering round a stage with a lot of black men. His act was good of its kind—three trombones, three saxaphones, and Carlyle's flute—and it was his own peculiar sense of rhythm that made all the difference; but he began to grow strangely sensitive about it, began to hate the thought of appearing, dreaded it from day to day.
They were making money—each contract he signed called for more—but when he went to managers and told them that he wanted to separate from his sextet and go on as a regular pianist, they laughed at him aud told him he was crazy—it would he an artistic suicide. He used to laugh afterward at the phrase“artistic suicide.” They all used it.
Half a dozen times they played at private dances at three thousand dollars a night, and it seemed as if these crystallized all his distaste for his mode of livlihood. They took place in clubs and houses that he couldn't have gone into in the daytime. After all, he was merely playing to r?le of the eternal monkey, a sort of sublimated chorus man. He was sick of the very smell of the theatre, of powder and rouge and the chatter of the greenroom, and the patronizing approval of the boxes. He couldn't put his heart into it any more. The idea of a slow approach to the luxury of liesure drove him wild. He was, of course, progressing toward it, but, like a child, eating his ice-cream so slowly that he couldn't taste it at all.
He wanted to have a lot of money and time and opportunity to read and play, and the sort of men and women round him that he could never have—the kind who, if they thought of him at all, would have considered him rather contemptible; in short he wanted all those things which he was beginning to lump under the general head of aristocracy, an aristocracy which it seemed almost any money could buy except money made as he was making it. He was twenty-five then, without family or education or any promise that he would succeed in a business career. He began speculating wildly, and within three weeks he had lost every cent he had saved.
Then the war came. He went to Plattsburg, and even there his profession followed him. A brigadier-general called him up to headquarters and told him he could serve his country better as a band leader—so he spent the war entertaining celebrities behind the line with a headquarters band. It was not so bad—except that when the infantry came limping back from the trenches he wanted to be one of them. The sweat and mud they wore seemed only one of those ineffable symbols of aristocracy that were forever eluding him.
“It was the private dances that did it. After I came back from the war the old routine started. We had an offer from a syndicate of Florida hotels. It was only a question of time then.”
He broke off and Ardita looked at him expectantly, but he shook his head.
“No,” he said, “I'm going to tell you about it. I'm enjoying it too much, and I'm afraid I'd lose a little of that enjoyment if I shared it with anyone else. I want to hang on to those few breathless, heroic moments when I stood out before them all and let them know I was more than a damn bobbing, squawking clown.”
From up forward came suddenly the low sound of singing. The negroes had gathered together on the deck and their voices rose together in a haunting melody that soared in poignant harmonics toward the moon. And Ardita listens in enchantment.
“Oh down—
Oh down,
Mammy wanna take me downa milky way,
Oh down—
Oh down,
Pappy say to-morra-a-a-ah
But mammy say to-day,
Yes—mammy say to-day!”
Carlyle sighed and was silent for a moment looking up at the gathered host of stars blinking like arc-lights in the warm sky. The negroes' song had died away to a plaintive humming and it seemed as if minute by minute the brightness and the great silence were increasing until he could almost hear the midnight toilet of the mermaids as they combed their silver dripping curls under the moon and gossiped to each other of the fine wrecks they lived on the green opalescent avenues below. “You see,” said Carlyle softly, “this is the beauty I want. Beauty has got to be astonishing, astounding—it's got to burst in on you like a dream, like the exquisite eyes of a girl.”
He turned to her, but she was silent.
“You see, don't you, Anita—I mean, Ardita?”
Again she made no answer. She had been sound asleep for some time.
柯蒂斯·卡萊爾和嚇破了膽的輪機(jī)手談了不到十分鐘的話,“水仙花號(hào)”游艇便鳴著汽笛,在清香四溢的熱帶暮色中朝著南方出發(fā)了。那個(gè)小黑白混血兒貝比似乎是卡萊爾的心腹,局勢(shì)完全由他掌控。法納姆先生的貼身侍從和廚師被結(jié)結(jié)實(shí)實(shí)地捆在船艙里的鋪位上。他們是船上除了輪機(jī)手之外僅有的船員,他們?cè)?jīng)反抗過,然而現(xiàn)在,他們正在進(jìn)行重新權(quán)衡。塊頭兒最大的那個(gè)黑人特羅姆博恩·摩斯,提著一桶漆,正忙著把船頭的“水仙花號(hào)”涂掉,用“呼啦呼啦號(hào)”取而代之,其他幾個(gè)人聚集在船尾,開始起勁地玩起了雙骰子游戲。
卡萊爾命人準(zhǔn)備晚飯,并吩咐他們七點(diǎn)半在甲板上開飯。然后,他又來(lái)到阿蒂塔身邊,躺進(jìn)藤椅里,半閉著眼睛,開始恍恍惚惚地出起神來(lái)。
阿蒂塔仔細(xì)打量著他——她很快就認(rèn)定他是個(gè)浪漫的人。他給人的感覺是,他那高度的自信是建立在微不足道的基礎(chǔ)之上的——他的每一個(gè)決定背后恰恰暴露了他的猶豫不決,這與他的嘴唇那不可一世的曲線形成了鮮明的對(duì)比。
“他和我不是一類人,”她想,“反正有什么地方不一樣?!?/p>
作為一個(gè)極端的利己主義者,阿蒂塔常常只考慮自己;她的利己主義從來(lái)都不容爭(zhēng)辯,完全出于天性,而且完全無(wú)損于她那毫無(wú)爭(zhēng)議的魅力。盡管十九歲了,但是她給人的印象卻是一個(gè)早熟的神采飛揚(yáng)的孩子,而且她目前的青春氣息和美麗氣質(zhì)使所有認(rèn)識(shí)她的男男女女傾倒,毫無(wú)例外地在她那一顰一笑的漣漪上隨波逐流。她遇到過其他利己主義者——事實(shí)上,她發(fā)現(xiàn),自私的人反而沒有無(wú)私的人那么討厭——然而,到目前為止,還沒有一個(gè)人最終不被她征服,沒有一個(gè)人最終不是服服帖帖地拜倒在她的石榴裙下。
然而,雖然她發(fā)現(xiàn)坐在旁邊那把藤椅上的人是個(gè)自私的家伙,但是她卻絲毫沒有如平常那樣要將其拒之門外的想法,沒想到要采取行動(dòng)來(lái)保衛(wèi)船只;相反,本能告訴她,這個(gè)人在某種程度上完全處于弱勢(shì)地位,非常不堪一擊。當(dāng)阿蒂塔向傳統(tǒng)習(xí)俗發(fā)起挑戰(zhàn)的時(shí)候——而且這是她近來(lái)最主要的樂趣所在——這主要是緣于她急于證明自我的強(qiáng)烈愿望,她反而覺得這個(gè)人也在一門心思地挑戰(zhàn)著什么。
她對(duì)他的興趣遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)超出了她對(duì)自己的處境的關(guān)心,而她對(duì)他的興趣就像一個(gè)十歲的孩子對(duì)一場(chǎng)午后的演出所可能產(chǎn)生的渴望。她對(duì)自己的處境毫不擔(dān)心,她在任何情況下都可以把自己照顧好,她對(duì)自己的能力擁有無(wú)可置疑的自信。
夜深了。海上升起一輪蒼白的新月,眼神迷離地微笑著,海岸的輪廓變得越來(lái)越模糊,最后漸漸地消失了。烏云像樹葉一樣在遙遠(yuǎn)的天邊翻飛,朦朧的月光突然傾瀉在乘風(fēng)破浪的游艇上,將它的航線擴(kuò)展成一條銀光閃閃的大道。偶爾有人擦燃火柴點(diǎn)煙,明亮的火光一閃而逝。然而,除了引擎的轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)聲和海浪拍打船尾的嘩啦聲,游艇安靜得仿佛一個(gè)夢(mèng),在群星閃耀的天庭里穿行。夜空中彌散著海的味道,營(yíng)造出一種浩瀚無(wú)邊的似水柔情。
終于,卡萊爾打破了沉寂。
“幸運(yùn)的姑娘,”他嘆口氣,“我一直都想發(fā)財(cái)——然后來(lái)贏得這所有的美妙享受?!?/p>
阿蒂塔打了個(gè)哈欠。
“我寧可是你?!彼孤实卣f。
“你已經(jīng)和我一樣了——差不多一天了。不過,作為一個(gè)小丫頭,你看起來(lái)的確很有膽量?!?/p>
“希望你別那么叫我?!?/p>
“抱歉?!?/p>
“關(guān)于膽量,”她從容地接著說道,“這可是我性格當(dāng)中的一個(gè)可取之處。我天不怕地不怕?!?/p>
“嗯,我也是?!?/p>
“一般而言,”阿蒂塔說,“一個(gè)人要么非常偉大,非常堅(jiān)強(qiáng)——要么就非常怯懦。可我兩者都不是。”她頓了頓,語(yǔ)氣開始變得熱切起來(lái)?!暗俏蚁胝?wù)勀?。你到底干了什么——你是怎么做到的??/p>
“為什么?”他以嘲弄的語(yǔ)氣問道,“準(zhǔn)備為我寫部電影嗎?”
“說說吧,”她催促道,“在這月光下,向我撒謊吧,編得精彩點(diǎn)?!?/p>
一個(gè)黑人來(lái)了,他把涼棚下面的一串小燈打開,開始擺放柳條桌,為晚飯作準(zhǔn)備。食物是從下面應(yīng)有盡有的食櫥里拿上來(lái)的,他們吃著冷切雞肉、沙拉、法國(guó)百合和草莓醬,卡萊爾開始打開話匣子。一開始,他顯得遲疑不定,然而,他發(fā)現(xiàn)她聽得津津有味,就興致勃勃地講起來(lái)。阿蒂塔幾乎沒怎么吃東西,她望著他那黝黑、青春的臉龐——帥氣,帶著嘲弄的表情,顯得有些軟弱。
他出生在田納西州的一個(gè)貧困家庭,他說,家里一貧如洗,他們是那條街上唯一的白人家庭。他連一個(gè)白人孩子都不記得——但是,總是有十幾個(gè)黑人小孩屁顛屁顛地追著他跑。他擁有生動(dòng)、豐富的想象力,帶著他們不斷地招惹是非,然后再為他們平息事端,讓他們逢兇化吉、擺脫危險(xiǎn)。他憑著這些能力讓這些孩子寸步不離地追隨著他,熱情洋溢地崇拜著他。似乎他們的這種友誼將他那不同凡響的音樂才華引到了一個(gè)奇異的軌道上。
有個(gè)黑人女士名叫貝爾·波普·卡爾霍恩,她在聚會(huì)上為白人孩子彈鋼琴——這些白人孩子都出身良好,他們經(jīng)過卡萊爾身邊的時(shí)候,都對(duì)他嗤之以鼻。但是這個(gè)衣衫襤褸的“白人窮小子”常常坐在她的鋼琴邊,一坐就是很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間,用一只別的孩子只能吹出一點(diǎn)聲響的笛子努力吹出高亢的聲音。十三歲前,他就開始在納什維爾附近的小餐廳里用破爛的小提琴奏出生動(dòng)而妙趣橫生的雷格泰姆音樂。八年后,國(guó)內(nèi)掀起了雷格泰姆熱,他就帶著六個(gè)黑人跟隨奧芬馬戲團(tuán)巡回演出。其中有五個(gè)是和他一起長(zhǎng)大的發(fā)??;另一個(gè)就是矮個(gè)子的黑白混血兒貝比·狄萬(wàn),很久以前他在百慕大種植園里干活,后來(lái)他把一把八英寸長(zhǎng)的匕首插進(jìn)了莊園主的后背里,然后就逃到紐約附近的碼頭上干活??ㄈR爾來(lái)到百老匯的時(shí)候才意識(shí)到自己的運(yùn)氣有多好,各方人士爭(zhēng)相與他簽約,他做夢(mèng)都沒想到能掙那么多的錢。
大約就在那時(shí),他的整個(gè)心態(tài)發(fā)生了變化,這個(gè)變化非常奇特,非常痛苦。他意識(shí)到他和那幾個(gè)黑人在舞臺(tái)上嘰里呱啦地浪費(fèi)著人生的大好年華。他的表演算得上是出類拔萃了——三只長(zhǎng)號(hào),三只薩克斯管,還有卡萊爾的笛子——他擁有超常的節(jié)奏感,他的樂隊(duì)正是因?yàn)檫@一點(diǎn)而變得不同凡響;然而他卻產(chǎn)生了莫名其妙的厭惡情緒,他開始討厭登臺(tái)演出,而且厭惡之情與日俱增。
他們很能掙錢——他簽訂合同時(shí),一次比一次要錢多。然而,當(dāng)他去找經(jīng)理人,告訴他們,他想與其他六個(gè)人分開而做一個(gè)普通的鋼琴演奏者時(shí),他們卻嘲笑他,并對(duì)他說他瘋了——這意味著藝術(shù)性自殺。事后他總是嘲笑所謂的“藝術(shù)性自殺”的說法。這個(gè)說法在當(dāng)時(shí)很普遍。
有時(shí)候他們?cè)谒饺宋钑?huì)上演奏,一晚上能掙三千美元,可是似乎正是這些讓他產(chǎn)生了對(duì)這種謀生方式的厭惡。他們?nèi)ゾ銟凡亢退饺藭?huì)所里演出,而他們?cè)诎滋焓堑遣涣诉@些大雅之堂的。畢竟,他永遠(yuǎn)只是一個(gè)跳梁小丑,一個(gè)被藝術(shù)化了的樂隊(duì)的樂手而已。他一聞到劇院和脂粉的味道,一聽到演員休息室里的閑言碎語(yǔ),一看到包廂里那些看客高高在上的恭維之態(tài),他就覺得惡心。他再也無(wú)法心無(wú)旁騖地演奏了。他想慢慢過上休閑的豪華生活,這個(gè)想法使他發(fā)瘋。當(dāng)然,他正在朝這個(gè)目標(biāo)努力。不過,這個(gè)過程太漫長(zhǎng)了,就像小孩子吃雪糕,因?yàn)槌缘锰愿緹o(wú)法享受到它的美味。
他想有很多錢、很多時(shí)間,想有機(jī)會(huì)讀書和消遣,想成為他周圍那些他以前從來(lái)都無(wú)法躋身其中的男男女女——這些人就算是曾經(jīng)想到過他的話,也認(rèn)為他是個(gè)無(wú)足輕重的卑劣之人。簡(jiǎn)單地說,他想擁有那些貴族們才能享有的東西,這樣的貴族似乎是可以用金錢來(lái)交換的,只是他辛苦演出賺來(lái)的錢除外。那時(shí)他二十五歲,沒有成家,沒有上過學(xué),也沒有希望在生意上取得成功。他開始瘋狂地做投機(jī)生意,不到三個(gè)禮拜,便把所有積蓄敗得精光。
然后,戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)爆發(fā)了。他去了普拉茨堡。即使到了那里,他也擺脫不掉自己的職業(yè)。一位陸軍準(zhǔn)將把他叫到軍部,告訴他,如果他去當(dāng)軍樂團(tuán)的團(tuán)長(zhǎng),可以為國(guó)家做出更大的貢獻(xiàn)——于是,整個(gè)戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)期間,他和軍樂團(tuán)一起待在后方為各類社會(huì)名流演出。這也沒什么不好——然而,當(dāng)步兵們一瘸一拐地從戰(zhàn)壕里回來(lái)的時(shí)候,他很想成為其中的一員。他們身上的泥土和汗水散發(fā)著永恒的魅力,對(duì)他而言,這似乎是不可企及的貴族品質(zhì)的一種象征。
“是私人舞會(huì)造成的。我從戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)中歸來(lái)以后,又開始重操舊業(yè)。我們收到了佛羅里達(dá)酒店財(cái)團(tuán)的邀請(qǐng)。當(dāng)時(shí),這只是遲早的問題?!?/p>
他停下不說了,阿蒂塔滿懷期待地望著他,然而,他搖搖頭。
“不,”他說,“我不打算給你講了。我非常珍惜這些經(jīng)歷,生怕與別人分享后會(huì)有損它帶給我的快樂。我想把這些驚心動(dòng)魄的英勇時(shí)刻埋藏在心底,等我在他們面前出人頭地的時(shí)候,我要讓他們知道,我不只是個(gè)上躥下跳、扯著嗓子吼叫的小丑?!?/p>
忽然甲板上傳來(lái)一陣低回的歌聲,黑人們聚集在甲板上齊聲歌唱,旋律令人難忘,尖銳的和聲飛向了月亮。阿蒂塔聽得如癡如醉。
哦,走吧——
哦,走吧,
媽咪要帶我看銀河,
哦,走吧,
哦,走吧,
爸比說明天去,
媽咪說今天去,
沒錯(cuò)——媽咪說今天去!
卡萊爾嘆了口氣,沉默了一會(huì)兒,抬頭望著溫暖的天空下那如弧光燈般閃爍的點(diǎn)點(diǎn)繁星。黑人們渾厚的歌聲漸漸變成如泣如訴的哼唱,而天地似乎越來(lái)越寂靜,光明也在分分秒秒地迫近。他幾乎可以聽見美人魚夜半梳妝的聲音,她們?cè)谠鹿庀率嶂鴿皲蹁醯?、閃著銀光的鬈發(fā),聊著她們的住所,聊著在泛著清輝的大道下面那艘精致的沉船。
“你看,”卡萊爾輕輕地說,“這就是我想要的美妙享受。必須是那種令人吃驚、令人震撼的美——必須像夢(mèng)、像少女動(dòng)人的眼眸一樣,突然闖入你的生活。”
他轉(zhuǎn)過身來(lái)望著她,而她卻默默無(wú)語(yǔ)。
“你明白,不是嗎,阿蒂塔——我的意思是,阿蒂塔?”
她依然沒有回應(yīng)。她已經(jīng)不知在什么時(shí)候睡熟了。
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