雙語·沒有女人的男人們 第三篇 似白象一般的山巒
- Hills Like White Elephants
- 第三篇 似白象一般的山巒
THE hills across the valley of the Ebro were long and white.On this side there was no shade and no trees and the station was between two lines of rails in the sun.Close against the side of the station there was the warm shadow of the building and a curtain, made of strings of bamboo beads, hung across the open door into the bar, to keep out fies.The American and the girl with him sat at a table in the shade, outside the building.It was very hot and the express from Barcelona would come in forty minutes.It stopped at this junction for two minutes and went on to Madrid.
“What should we drink?”the girl asked.She had taken off her hat and put it on the table.
“It's pretty hot，”the man said.
“Let's drink beer.”
“Dos cervezas，”the man said into the curtain.
“Big ones?”a woman asked from the doorway.
“Yes.Two big ones.”
The woman brought two glasses of beer and two felt pads.She put the felt pads and the beer glasses on the table and looked at the man and the girl.The girl was looking off at the line of hills.They were white in the sun and the country was brown and dry.
“They look like white elephants，”she said.
“I've never seen one.”The man drank his beer.
“No, you wouldn't have.”
“I might have，”the man said.“Just because you say I wouldn't have doesn't prove anything.”
The girl looked at the bead curtain.“They've painted something on it，”she said.“What does it say?”
“Anis del Toro.It's a drink.”
“Could we try it?”
The man called“Listen”through the curtain.The woman came out from the bar.
“Four reales.”
“We want two Anis del Toros.”
“With water?”
“Do you want it with water?”
“I don't know，”the girl said.“Is it good with water?”
“It's all right.”
“You want them with water?”asked the woman.
“Yes, with water.”
“It tastes like liquorice，”the girl said and put the glass down.
“That's the way with everything.”
“Yes，”said the girl.“Everything tastes of liquorice.Especially all the things you've waited so long for, like absinthe.”
“Oh, cut it out.”
“You started it，”the girl said.“I was being amused.I was having a fne time.”
“Well, let's try and have a fne time.”
“All right.I was trying.I said the mountains looked like white elephants.Wasn't that bright?”
“That was bright.”
“I wanted to try this new drink.That's all we do, isn't it—look at things and try new drinks?”
“I guess so.”
The girl looked across at the hills.
“They're lovely hills，”she said.“They don't really look like white elephants.I just meant the coloring of their skin through the trees.”
“Should we have another drink?”
“All right.”
The warm wind blew the bead curtain against the table.
“The beer's nice and cool，”the man said.
“It's lovely，”the girl said.
“It's really an awfully simple operation, Jig，”the man said.“It's not really an operation at all.”
The girl looked at the ground the table legs rested on.
“I know you wouldn't mind it, Jig.It's really not anything.It's just to let the air in.”
The girl did not say anything.
“I'll go with you and I'll stay with you all the time.They just let the air in and then it's all perfectly natural.”
“Then what will we do afterwards?”
“We'll be fne afterwards.Just like we were before.”
“What makes you think so?”
“That's the only thing that bothers us.It's the only thing that's made us unhappy.”
The girl looked at the bead curtain, put her hand out and took hold of two of the strings of beads.
“And you think then we'll be all right and be happy.”
“I know we will.You don't have to be afraid.I've known lots of people that have done it.”
“So have I，”said the girl.“And afterward they were all so happy.”
“Well，”the man said，“if you don't want to you don't have to.I wouldn't have you do it if you didn't want to.But I know it's perfectly simple.”
“And you really want to?”
“I think it's the best thing to do.But I don't want you to do it if you don't really want to.”
“And if I do it you'll be happy and things will be like they were and you'll love me?”
“I love you now.You know I love you.”
“I know.But if I do it, then it will be nice again if I say things are like white elephants, and you'll like it?”
“I'll love it.I love it now but I just can't think about it.You know how I get when I worry.”
“If I do it you won't ever worry?”
“I won't worry about that because it's perfectly simple.”
“Then I'll do it.Because I don't care about me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don't care about me.”
“Well, I care about you.”
“Oh, yes.But I don't care about me.And I'll do it and then everything will be fne.”
“I don't want you to do it if you feel that way.”
The girl stood up and walked to the end of the station.Across, on the other side, were felds of grain and trees along the banks of the Ebro.Far away, beyond the river, were mountains.The shadow of a cloud moved across the feld of grain and she saw the river through the trees.
“And we could have all this，”she said.“And we could have everything and every day we make it more impossible.”
“What did you say?”
“I said we could have everything.”
“We can have everything.”
“No, we can't.”
“We can have the whole world.”
“No, we can't.”
“We can go everywhere.”
“No, we can't.It isn't ours any more.”
“It's ours.”
“No, it isn't.And once they take it away, you never get it back.”
“But they haven't taken it away.”
“We'll wait and see.”
“Come on back in the shade，”he said.“You mustn't feel that way.”
“I don't feel any way，”the girl said.“I just know things.”
“I don't want you to do anything that you don't want to do—”
“Nor that isn't good for me，”she said.“I know.Could we haveanother beer?”
“All right.But you've got to realize—”
“I realize，”the girl said.“Can't we maybe stop talking?”
They sat down at the table and the girl looked across at the hills on the dry side of the valley and the man looked at her and at the table.
“You've got to realize，”he said，“that I don't want you to do it if you don't want to.I'm perfectly willing to go through with it if it means anything to you.”
“Doesn't it mean anything to you?We could get along.”
“Of course it does.But I don't want anybody but you.I don't want anyone else.And I know it's perfectly simple.”
“Yes, you know it's perfectly simple.”
“It's all right for you to say that, but I do know it.”
“Would you do something for me now?”
“I'd do anything for you.”
“Would you please please please please please please please stop talking?”
He did not say anything but looked at the bags against the wall of the station.There were labels on them from all the hotels where they had spent nights.
“But I don't want you to，”he said，“I don't care anything about it.”
“I'll scream，”the girl said.
The woman came out through the curtains with two glasses of beer and put them down on the damp felt pads.“The train comes in fve minutes，”she said.
“What did she say?”asked the girl.
“That the train is coming in fve minutes.”
The girl smiled brightly at the woman, to thank her.
“I'd better take the bags over to the other side of the station，”the man said.She smiled at him.
“All right.Then come back and we'll fnish the beer.”
He picked up the two heavy bags and carried them around the station to the other tracks.Coming back, he walked through the bar-room, where people waiting for the train were drinking.He drank an Anis at the bar and looked at the people.They were all waiting reasonably for the train.He went out through the bead curtain.She was sitting at the table and smiled at him.
“Do you feel better?”he asked.
“I feel fne，”she said.“There's nothing wrong with me.I feel fne.”
埃布羅河[21]河谷對面的山脈連綿不斷，泛著白色。河谷的這邊沒有樹木，沒有陰涼地，火車站夾在兩條鐵軌之間，暴露在陽光下。緊靠車站的這頭，是投下溫熱陰影的建筑物。那兒的酒吧敞著門，門道掛著一扇門簾擋蒼蠅，門簾上的珠子是用竹子制成的。一個美國人和一個女孩坐在外邊建筑物陰影里的桌子旁。天氣熱得要命。從巴塞羅那來的快車四十分鐘內(nèi)到站，在本站停兩分鐘，然后開往馬德里。
“喝點兒什么吧？”女孩問。她已經(jīng)摘下帽子放在了桌子上。“這鬼天氣可真熱呀。”美國男子說。
“那就喝啤酒吧。”
“來兩杯啤酒！[22]”男子沖著門簾里面喊道。
“大杯的嗎？”一個女人站在門口問。
“是的，兩大杯。”
女人送來了兩杯啤酒和兩個毛氈杯墊，將杯墊和酒放在桌上，看了一眼美國男子和女孩。女孩正在眺望遠處的山脈。艷陽下，山脈泛著白光，而田野卻一片干涸，呈棕褐色。
“那山脈看上去就似一群白象。”女孩說。
“我從沒見過白象。”男子喝了口啤酒說。
“是啊，你不會見到的。”
“也許我見過。”男子說，“光憑你一句話，說明不了什么問題。”
女孩望了望珠簾，“簾子上畫了什么東西。”她說，“上面寫了什么？”
“大茴香酒[23]。是一種飲品。”
“我們能嘗一嘗嗎？”
男子沖著珠簾里面喊：“來人！”女人從酒吧里走出來。
“一共是四個雷阿爾[24]。”
“再來兩杯大茴香酒。”
“加水嗎？”
“你要加水嗎？”
“我也不知道。”女孩說，“加了水好喝嗎？”
“還可以吧。”
“兩杯都要加水嗎？”女人問。
“嗯，加水吧。”
“喝起來有股甘草味。”女孩說著放下酒杯。
“這兒所有的東西都有這種味道。”
“是啊，”女孩說，“樣樣東西都有甘草味。尤其你日思夜想的東西，比如苦艾酒。”
“罷了，這種話就不要再說了。”
“是你自己開的頭，”女孩說，“剛才我還挺開心、挺享受的。”
“好吧，那咱們就試著開開心心享受吧。”
“好的。我正試著呢。我說那些山巒看上去好像白象。難道這樣的話題不開心嗎？”
“是挺叫人開心的。”
“我還想嘗一嘗這種新飲料。咱們就做了這些事，不就是——看看周圍的東西，嘗嘗新飲料嗎？”
“我想是的。”
女孩又眺望對面的山巒。
“多么美麗的大山啊！”她說，“看上去并不像白象。我剛才只是說透過樹木看那些山的顏色是白的。”
“再來一杯怎么樣？”
“好的。”
一陣熱風把珠簾吹得蹭到了他們的桌子。
“啤酒味道真好，冰涼冰涼的。”男子說。
“是挺不錯的。”女孩說。
“這種手術(shù)太簡單了，吉格，”男人說，“其實算不上什么手術(shù)。”
女孩低頭看了看桌子腿周圍的地面。
“我知道你不會往心里去的，吉格。這只是小事一樁，只需吸點兒氧氣就行了。”[25]
女孩沒吱聲。
“我會跟你去的，始終守在你身邊。他們只是叫你吸點兒氧，這事再自然不過了。”
“那么，以后該怎么辦呢？”
“以后一定會把日子過得順風順水的，一如以往。”
“你為何如此肯定？”
“因為咱們所苦惱的就這么一件事，正是這一件事弄得你我心情不暢。”
女孩看看珠簾，伸手抓起珠簾上的兩串珠子。
“你覺得然后一定能平安無事，大家都開開心心的？”
“我知道一定會這樣的，你不必擔心。據(jù)我所知，許多人都做過這種手術(shù)。”
“這我也知道。”女孩說，“手術(shù)過后，男人們倒是挺開心的。”
“好吧，”男子說，“你要是不愿意做，就不做了。我絕不會強迫你干自己不愿意的事情。不過，話又說回來，這種手術(shù)的確簡單極了。”
“這果真是你的意愿？”
“我覺得這是上上策。不過，假如你真的不想做，我也不愿勉強你。”
“如果我做這次手術(shù)，你就會高興，一切都會跟以前一樣，你還會愛我，對不對？”
“我現(xiàn)在就愛著你，這你心里清楚。”
“是的，我清楚。但如果我做了手術(shù)，一切恢復(fù)了正常，我要是說山巒像白象之類的話，你會喜歡嗎？”
“會喜歡的，現(xiàn)在就很喜歡。只不過現(xiàn)在不能想那事。你知道我一旦心煩會怎么樣。”
“我做手術(shù)，你就不心煩了。”
“我不為這個心煩，因為這種手術(shù)簡單極了。”
“好吧，那我就做吧，因為我對自己是不在乎的。”
“你這是什么意思？”
“我是說我是不在乎自己的。”
“可是我在乎。”
“哦，是的。不過，我是不在乎我自己的。我去做就是了，那時就一好百好了。”
“假如這是你的感受，那我可不愿讓你去做。”
女孩站起身，走到了車站的盡頭。鐵軌的另一側(cè)可以看到埃布羅河的河岸上阡陌縱橫、綠樹成蔭。河對岸的遠處則是起伏的群山。云影在田野中穿行。她的目光透過樹木瞥見了埃布羅河。
“你我原本是可以縱情享受這一切的，”她說道，“可以擁有一切美好的感受。而現(xiàn)在，這些一天天變得愈加不可能實現(xiàn)了。”
“你說什么來著？”
“我說你我原本是可以擁有一切美好感受的。”
“現(xiàn)在也可以呀。”
“現(xiàn)在不行了，一切都成了鏡花水月。”
“你我可以擁有整個世界。”
“現(xiàn)在不行了，一切都成了鏡花水月。”
“咱們可以到任何地方去，走遍天涯海角。”
“現(xiàn)在不行了，一切都成了鏡花水月。這個世界不再是我們的了。”
“是我們的！”
“已經(jīng)不是了。一旦失去，就不再擁有。”
“可是，還沒有失去呀。”
“那就等著瞧吧。”
“快回來，到陰涼地來！”男子說，“你不該如此多愁善感。”
“我這不是多愁善感，”女孩說，“而是心中有數(shù)。”
“我可不想勉強你做自己不愿做的事情……”
“也不想勉強我做對我不利的事情。”女孩說，“這我清楚，再來杯啤酒怎么樣？”
“好吧。你應(yīng)該明白……”
“我明白。”女孩說，“這話能不能不說了？”
他們又在桌子旁坐下。女孩望著河谷對面那干涸土地上的山巒，而男子則看著她和桌面。
“你應(yīng)該明白，”他說道，“如果你不想做，我是不愿意勉強你的。假如你覺得此事很重要，我十分情愿陪著你，一陪到底。”
“難道這對你不重要嗎？我們是可以挺過這一關(guān)的。”
“當然重要。我心里沒有別人，任何一個別的人都沒有，只有你。我很清楚，這樣的手術(shù)十分簡單。”
“是呀，是呀，你很清楚這樣的手術(shù)十分簡單。”
“隨你怎么說吧，反正我心里是有數(shù)的。”
“就眼下而言，你能不能為我做些事情？”
“我愿為你赴湯蹈火。”
“我一千遍一萬遍地求求你不要再說了，好不好？”
他沒再說什么，而是看了看靠在車站墻根的行李，上面有各家他們曾在那里度過了許多良宵的旅館的標簽。
“我是不會勉強你的，”他說道，“對此我是無所謂的。”
“我要大聲喊叫了。”女孩說。
酒吧女子端著兩杯酒從珠簾后走出來，把它們放在濕漉漉的毛氈杯墊上。“火車五分鐘內(nèi)就到。”她說。
“她說什么？”女孩問。
“火車五分鐘內(nèi)就到。”
女孩沖酒吧女子嫣然一笑以示謝意。
“我最好還是過去把行李拿到站臺的另一邊。”男子說。女孩對他笑了笑。
“好的。搬過行李你再回來，咱們把酒喝完。”
男子拎起兩個沉甸甸的行李包，繞過站臺，將它們放在了另一側(cè)的鐵軌旁?；貋頃r穿過酒吧，見那兒有幾位等火車的旅客在喝酒，他自己也在吧臺要了杯茴香酒，邊喝邊打量著那幾位旅客。他們都在心平氣和地等待著列車的到來。喝完酒，他掀起珠簾走了出來。女孩在桌旁坐著，沖他莞爾一笑。
“現(xiàn)在感覺好些了吧？”他問。
“感覺很好。”女孩說，“我感覺很好，沒有什么感覺不好的。”
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