雙語·面紗 第三十七章

37

She saw Waddington every day, for he strolled up the hill to the Fanes' bungalow when his day's work was done; and so after a week they had arrived at an intimacy which under other circumstances they could scarcely have achieved in a year. Once when Kitty told him she didn't know what she would do there without him he answered, laughing:

“You see, you and I are the only people here who walk quite quietly and peaceably on solid ground. The nuns walk in heaven and your husband--in darkness.”

Though she gave a careless laugh she wondered what he meant. She felt that his merry little blue eyes were scanning her face with an amiable, but disconcerting attention. She had discovered already that he was shrewd and she had a feeling that the relations between herself and Walter excited his cynical curiosity. She found a certain amusement in baffling him. She liked him and she knew that he was kindly disposed towards her. He was not witty nor brilliant, but he had a dry and incisive way of putting things which was diverting, and his funny, boyish face under that bald skull, all screwed up with laughter, made his remarks sometimes extremely droll. He had lived for many years in outports, often with no man of his own color to talk to, and his personality had developed in eccentric freedom. He was full of fads and oddities. His frankness was refreshing. He seemed to look upon life in a spirit of banter, and his ridicule of the Colony at Hong Kong was acid; but he laughed also at the Chinese officials at Mei-tan-fu and at the cholera which decimated the city. He could not tell a tragic story or one of heroism without making it faintly absurd. He had many anecdotes of his adventures during twenty years in China, and you concluded from them that the earth was a very grotesque, bizarre and ludicrous place.

Though he denied that he was a Chinese scholar (he swore that the Sinologues were as mad as march hares) he spoke the language with ease. He read little and what he knew he had learned from conversation. But he often told Kitty stories from the Chinese novels and from Chinese history and though he told them with that airy badinage which was natural to him it was good-humoured and even tender. It seemed to her that, perhaps unconsciously, he had adopted the Chinese view that the Europeans were barbarians and their life a folly: in China alone was it so led that a sensible man might discern in it a sort of reality. Here was food for reflection: Kitty had never heard the Chinese spoken of as anything but decadent, dirty and unspeakable. It was as though the corner of a curtain were lifted for a moment, and she caught a glimpse of a world rich with a color and significance she had not dreamt of.

He sat there, talking, laughing, and drinking.

“Don't you think you drink too much?” said Kitty to him boldly.

“It's my great pleasure in life,” he answered. “Besides, it keeps the cholera out.”

When he left her he was generally drunk, but he carried his liquor well. It made him hilarious, but not disagreeable.

One evening Walter, coming back earlier than usual, asked him to stay to dinner. A curious incident happened. They had their soup and their fish and then with the chicken a fresh green salad was handed to Kitty by the boy.

“Good God, you're not going to eat that,” cried Waddington, as he saw Kitty take some.

“Yes, we have it every night.”

“My wife likes it,” said Walter.

The dish was handed to Waddington, but he shook his head.

“Thank you very much, but I'm not thinking of committing suicide just yet.”

Walter smiled grimly and helped himself. Waddington said nothing more, in fact he became strangely taciturn, and soon after dinner he left them.

It was true that they ate salad every night. Two days after their arrival the cook, with the unconcern of the Chinese, had sent it in and Kitty, without thinking, took some. Walter leaned forward quickly.

“You oughtn't to eat that. The boy's crazy to serve it.”

“Why not?” asked Kitty, looking at him full in the face.

“It's always dangerous, it's madness now. You'll kill yourself.”

“I thought that was the idea,” said Kitty.

She began to eat it coolly. She was seized with she knew not what spirit of bravado. She watched Walter with mocking eyes. She thought that he grew a trifle pale, but when the salad was handed to him he helped himself. The cook, finding they did not refuse it, sent them some in every day and every day, courting death, they ate it. It was grotesque to take such a risk. Kitty, in terror of the disease, took it with the feeling not only that she was thus maliciously avenging herself on Walter, but that she was flouting her own desperate fears.

第三十七章

她每天都能見到威廷頓，因為他每天忙完工作后，都要溜達到山上，來到沃爾特家的平房做客。所以，一周之后他們變得很熟悉了，而這種關(guān)系要是放在以前的那種情境下，哪怕一年也幾乎不可能這么親密。有一次，當(dāng)凱蒂告訴他說，如果沒有他，她都不知道在這兒干些什么的時候，他笑著回答說：“你瞧，你和我是在這兒腳踏實地走路，十分安靜而又平和的人，而修女們是在天堂里走路，而你的丈夫——是在黑暗中走路。”

雖然她不經(jīng)意地笑笑，但還是想搞清楚他話中的含義。她覺得他快樂的小藍眼睛正在掃視她的面孔，帶著一種和藹可親但又有些困惑的神情。她已經(jīng)發(fā)現(xiàn)了他實際上很精明，而且還有一種感覺，那就是她和沃爾特之間的關(guān)系激起了他的疑心，某種探奇的樂趣讓他躍躍欲試。她喜歡他，也知道他能夠友善地對待她，他既不聰明機智，也不才華橫溢，但是他有種能夠直截了當(dāng)、撥亂反正的能力，而且在禿頭之下，他滑稽的、孩子般的面孔由于大笑而變得扭曲，使得他的話有時格外的離奇古怪。他生活在這個邊遠(yuǎn)村落有很多年了，通常沒有同自己膚色一樣的人來交談，所以他的性格已經(jīng)變得奇特而無拘無束，簡直就是個古靈精怪的人，他的率真也讓人耳目一新，似乎是用一種取樂的精神來看待生活。他對在香港的殖民極盡諷刺挖苦之能事，但他也嘲笑湄潭府的中國官員，甚至嘲笑使得城市死人無數(shù)的霍亂。他講的悲劇故事或者英雄傳奇也往往帶上略微的荒誕色彩。對于在中國二十年間的冒險經(jīng)歷，他有很多奇聞逸事可講，而且從這些逸事中，你能得出結(jié)論，我們所在的這個星球真是個荒誕不經(jīng)、離奇古怪、荒唐可笑的地方。

雖然他否認(rèn)他是個中國通（他發(fā)誓漢語像天書一樣），但他漢語說得很流利。他基本上不讀書看報，他所了解的知識都是從聊天中得來的。然而，他經(jīng)常給凱蒂講從中國小說和歷史書上得來的故事，雖然他講這些故事時是以打趣的口吻，對他來說這種口吻習(xí)以為常，但給凱蒂講時卻是生動活潑的，甚至還有些溫柔。也許對于凱蒂，他無意識地采用了中國人的看法，認(rèn)為歐洲人都是些野蠻人，他們的生活是一出諷刺劇，只有在中國，一個明智的人才能在混亂的生活中區(qū)分出現(xiàn)實。凱蒂從來沒聽到過中國人談?wù)撨^諸如此類的話，他們只談?wù)搲櫬?、骯臟和無法啟齒的話。就好像窗簾的一角被暫時掀了起來，她瞥見了一個豐富的世界，充滿了她從未夢想過的色彩和意義。

他坐在那兒，一邊聊著、笑著，一邊喝著。

“你不認(rèn)為你喝酒喝得太多了嗎？”凱蒂有些唐突地對他說道。

“它是我生活的樂趣?！彼卮鹫f，“而且，它能預(yù)防霍亂呢。”

每次離開她家時，他通常都已經(jīng)喝得醉醺醺了，但他卻從來不嘔吐，使得他非常滑稽，但是還是很和善。

有一天傍晚，沃爾特比平時回來得早一些，邀請威廷頓留下來吃晚飯。發(fā)生了一件稀奇的事。他們吃著魚，喝著湯，然后仆人遞給了凱蒂一份沙拉，雞肉拌新鮮的綠色蔬菜。

“老天，你不要吃那個東西。”當(dāng)威廷頓看到凱蒂正在往盤子里撥一些沙拉時，他喊道。

“沒問題呀，我們每天晚上都吃這個?！?/p>

“我妻子喜歡這道菜。”沃爾特說道。

這道菜被遞到了威廷頓的面前，但是他搖了搖頭。

“多謝了，但我現(xiàn)在還不想自殺?！?/p>

沃爾特冷笑了一下，自己夾了一些沙拉。威廷頓不再吭聲，事實上，他令人奇怪地不怎么愛說話了，晚飯后不久，他就向他們告辭了。

他們每天晚上都吃沙拉倒是千真萬確，在他們到達后的兩天，漫不經(jīng)心的中國廚子就給他們端上了沙拉，而凱蒂沒有絲毫猶豫，就吃了一些。沃爾特很快探過身去。

“你不應(yīng)該吃的，這個廚子真是瘋了，還上這道菜?！?/p>

“為什么不能吃？”凱蒂問道，直視著他的臉。

“吃生菜會有風(fēng)險，這真是瘋了，你會讓自己送命的。”

“我覺得那正好?！眲P蒂說道。

她不緊不慢地開始吃了起來，心里知道自己這樣做并不是勇敢。她用嘲弄的眼光注視著沃爾特，看出他的臉色有點兒變白了，但把沙拉遞給他時，他自己也撥到盤子里開始吃了。廚子發(fā)現(xiàn)他們并沒有拒絕，就天天都給他們準(zhǔn)備沙拉，他們也好像在追逐死亡似的，上來就吃，甘冒這樣的風(fēng)險，也真是稀奇古怪的行為。凱蒂其實對瘟疫怕得要死，吃沙拉時懷著一種心情，她不僅用這種方式對沃爾特進行威脅報復(fù)，而且表現(xiàn)出她對絕望恐懼的蔑視。