雙語·面紗 第十三章

13

The fact was, of course, that he had no charm. That was why he was not popular, and she had not been long in Hong Kong before she discovered that he was not. She remained very vague about his work. It was enough for her to realize, and she did this quite distinctly, that to be the government bacteriologist was no great fry. He seemed to have no desire to discuss that part of his life with her. Because she was willing to be interested in anything at first she had asked him about it. He put her off with a jest.

“It's very dull and technical,” he said on another occasion. “And it's grossly underpaid.”

He was very reserved. All she knew about his antecedents, his birth, his education, and his life before he met her, she had elicited by direct questioning. It was odd, the only thing that seemed to annoy him was a question; and when, in her natural curiosity, she fired a string of them at him, his answers became at everyone more abrupt. She had the wit to see that he did not care to reply because he had anything to hide from her, but merely from a natural secretiveness. It bored him to talk about himself. It made him shy and uncomfortable. He did not know how to be open. He was fond of reading, but he read books which seemed to Kitty very dull. If he was not busy with some scientific treatise he would read books about China or historical works. He never relaxed. She did not think he could. He was fond of games: he played tennis and bridge.

She wondered why he had ever fallen in love with her. She could not imagine any one less suited than herself to this restrained, cold and self-possessed man. And yet it was quite certain that he loved her madly. He would do anything in the world to please her. He was like wax in her hands. When she thought of one side he showed her, a side which only she had seen, she despised him a little. She wondered whether his sarcastic manner, with its contemptuous tolerance for so many persons and things she admired, was merely a fa?ade to conceal a profound weakness. She supposed he was clever, everyone seemed to think he was, but except very occasionally when he was with two or three people he liked and was in the mood, she had never found him entertaining. He did not precisely bore her, he left her indifferent.

第十三章

當然，實際上他沒有魅力，這也是他不怎么受歡迎的原因。她到了香港不久就發(fā)現(xiàn)了這一點，而且對他工作的認識依然模糊，但她能充分認識到，而且毫無疑問地明白，一個政府部門的細菌學家并非什么了不起的人物。他似乎沒有和她討論一下工作——這可是生活的一部分——的愿望。在一開始她還愿意問他一些工作方面的事，也顯得很感興趣，而他打個哈哈就把她敷衍過去了。

“那太枯燥了，完全是技術(shù)性的東西。”他有一次說道，“而且報酬非常低?！?/p>

他非常內(nèi)向。她所知道的有關(guān)他的經(jīng)歷、出生、教育背景，和在遇見她之前的生活，都是她直截了當向他提問才打聽出來的。奇怪的是，似乎讓他唯一不快的就是她冷不丁的一個問題。而那個時候，她天性好奇，會連珠炮似的提問，而他的回答，一個比一個唐突。凱蒂很聰明，知道他答非所問并不是想對她隱瞞什么，而僅僅是出于天性，愿意保留一塊隱秘之地。談論他自己也讓他覺得厭煩，還讓他羞怯和不舒服，他不知道如何向外人敞開心扉。他喜歡讀書，但他讀的書在凱蒂眼中似乎很乏味，他不忙著寫科學論文的時候，會讀一些有關(guān)中國或者歷史方面的書。他沒有放松的時候，她覺得他生性中就沒有放松這根弦。但他也有喜歡的運動和游戲，就是打網(wǎng)球和橋牌。

她納悶他怎么會愛上自己，也無法想象自己怎么會嫁給這樣一個內(nèi)向、冷漠而鎮(zhèn)靜的男人，簡直沒有誰比她更不適合他的了。但是，有一點可以肯定，那就是他瘋狂地愛著她，會不顧一切地取悅她，他有如她手上的熔蠟，可以被她隨心所欲地塑造，她想讓他怎樣他便會怎樣，她都有點兒蔑視他了。她想知道，他冷嘲熱諷的習慣，對她所崇拜的人和事所帶有的某種鄙視的容忍，是否僅僅是一種假象，來掩蓋他骨子里的軟弱。她覺得他人很聰明，大家似乎也都這樣認為。但是少有的幾次他和兩三個自己喜歡的人在一起時興致高起來，除此以外，她從來沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)他真正開心過。確切地說，他并不是厭煩她，而是對她心不在焉。