演講MP3+雙語(yǔ)文稿:為什么獲勝未必就是成功？

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【演講人及介紹】Valorie Kondos Field

體操教練Valorie Kondos Field是七屆NCAA冠軍，22屆地區(qū)冠軍和18屆Pac12冠軍UCLA女子體操隊(duì)的退休總教練。

【演講主題】為什么獲勝未必就是成功？

【演講文稿-中英文】

翻譯者 psjmz mz 校對(duì) Yanyan Hong

00:00

OK, I have a question for all of us. Youready? Is all winning success?

好，我要問(wèn)大家一個(gè)問(wèn)題，你們準(zhǔn)備好了嗎？所有的獲勝都代表成功嗎？

00:07

(Murmurs)

（低語(yǔ)）

00:08

Oh.

哦。

00:10

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

00:12

Whoa. OK.

喔，好的。

00:14

I am the recently retired head coach of theUCLA Women's Gymnastics Team, a position that I held for 29 years.

我是最近剛退休的加州大學(xué)洛杉磯分校女子體操隊(duì)的主教練，我在這個(gè)職位任教了 29 年。

00:22

(Applause)

（鼓掌）

00:23

Thank you.

謝謝。

00:25

And during my tenure, I experienced a lotof winning. I led our team to seven National Championships, I was inducted intothe UCLA Athletic Hall of Fame and I was even voted the Coach of the Century bythe Pac-12 Conference.

在我任職期間，嘗過(guò)很多次勝利的滋味。我?guī)ьI(lǐng)我的團(tuán)隊(duì)贏得了 7 次全國(guó)冠軍，我被編入了學(xué)校的運(yùn)動(dòng)員名人堂，甚至當(dāng)選太平洋十二校聯(lián)盟本世紀(jì)最佳教練。

00:39

(Applause)

（鼓掌）

00:42

Winning is really, really, like, really,really fun.

獲勝真的，真的，非常，非常讓人愉快。

00:47

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

00:50

But I am here to share my insight: winningdoes not always equal success. All across America and around the world, we havea crisis in the win-at-all-cost cultures that we have created. In our schools,in our businesses, in politics, winning at all cost has become acceptable. As asociety, we honor the people at the top of the pyramid. We effusively applaudthose people who win championships and elections and awards. But sadly, quiteoften, those same people are leaving their institutions as damaged humanbeings. Sadly, with straight A's, kids are leaving school damaged. With awardsand medals, athletes often leave their teams damaged, emotionally, mentally,not just physically. And with huge profits, employees often leave theircompanies damaged. We have become so hyperfocused on that end result, and whenthe end result is a win, the human component of how we got there often getsswept under the proverbial rug, and so does the damage.

但我在這里想要分享我的見(jiàn)解：獲勝并不總是等于成功。美國(guó)和全世界的人們正處在一場(chǎng)我們自己遭致的危機(jī)中，那就是要不惜一切代價(jià)去獲勝的文化。在我們的學(xué)校，商業(yè)，和政治領(lǐng)域中，大家逐漸接受了不惜一切代價(jià)獲勝的文化。在我們社會(huì)里，我們尊重位于金字塔尖的人。我們過(guò)度地為那些贏得冠軍、選舉和獎(jiǎng)項(xiàng)的人喝彩。但令人難過(guò)的是，往往也是這些人，最后遍體鱗傷地離開(kāi)了原來(lái)的團(tuán)隊(duì)。同樣令人難過(guò)的是，成績(jī)優(yōu)異的學(xué)生在離開(kāi)校園時(shí)背負(fù)著創(chuàng)傷；運(yùn)動(dòng)員獲得榮譽(yù)和獎(jiǎng)項(xiàng)后，也時(shí)常傷痕累累的離隊(duì)，除了身體，情緒和心理上也經(jīng)受著傷痛的折磨。在利潤(rùn)豐厚的公司，員工也時(shí)常選擇身心俱疲地離開(kāi)。我們過(guò)于專(zhuān)注于最終的結(jié)果，當(dāng)最終迎來(lái)勝利時(shí)，那些背后的功臣卻沒(méi)有得到應(yīng)有的表彰，受到的傷害也被隱藏了起來(lái)。

02:16

So I'm calling for a time-out. Time-out. Weneed to redefine success. Real success is developing champions in life for ourworld, win or lose.

所以我要呼吁，暫停一下。暫停一下。我們需要重新定義成功。真正的成功是為世界培養(yǎng)人生贏家，不論輸贏。

02:35

(Applause)

（鼓掌）

02:40

Real success is developing champions inlife, not for your team, not for your business and, I'm sad to tell you, noteven for your Christmas card bragging rights. Sorry.

真正的成功是培養(yǎng)人生的贏家，不是為了隊(duì)伍，也不是為了公司，更不是為了在圣誕卡片上炫耀。抱歉。

02:53

So how do we do this? First of all, you maybe able to dictate your way to a win, but you can't dictate your way tosuccess.

那么我們要如何做？首先，你也許能決定獲勝的方法，卻不能支配你成功的方式。

03:04

Let me take you back to 1990, when I wasfirst appointed the head coach of the UCLA Women's Gymnastics Team. And I wouldlike to share with you that I've never done gymnastics. I grew up in the worldof ballet. I have never done a cartwheel, and I couldn't teach you how to do aproper cartwheel.

讓我?guī)銈兓氐?1990 年，那一年，我剛接手了加州大學(xué)洛杉磯分校女子體操隊(duì)的主教練職位。我想跟你們分享的是，我從來(lái)沒(méi)有練過(guò)體操。我是在芭蕾舞的世界中長(zhǎng)大的。我從來(lái)沒(méi)有做過(guò)側(cè)手翻，也無(wú)法教你怎么做一個(gè)正確的側(cè)手翻。

03:22

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

03:24

It's sadly true. And I knew nothing abouthow to develop a team culture. The best I could do was mimic other coaches whohad won. And so I became tough-talking, tough-minded, relentless,unsympathetic, bullish, unempathetic and oftentimes downright mean. I actedlike a head coach whose only thought was to figure out how to win.

很遺憾，卻是事實(shí)。我對(duì)如何發(fā)展團(tuán)隊(duì)文化一竅不通。我能做的至多是模仿其他獲勝的教練。于是我變得刀子嘴，卻沒(méi)豆腐心，毫不留情，不近人情，氣勢(shì)洶洶，居高臨下，有時(shí)甚至很苛刻。我表現(xiàn)就像個(gè)主教練，只想著要如何獲勝。

03:59

My first few seasons as a head coach wereabysmal, and after putting up with my brash coaching style for a few years, ourteam asked me for a team meeting. Well, I love team meetings, so I said,"Yay! Let's have a team meeting." And for two solid hours, they gaveme examples of how my arrogance was hurtful and demeaning. Yeah, not yay. Theyexplained to me that they wanted to be supported, not belittled. They wanted tobe coached up, not torn down. They wanted to be motivated, not pressured orbullied. That was my time-out, and I chose to change.

我作為主教練的頭幾個(gè)賽季實(shí)在非常糟糕，我的隊(duì)伍在忍受了我?guī)啄曜砸詾槭堑慕叹氾L(fēng)格后，邀請(qǐng)我參加了一個(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)會(huì)議。我很喜歡開(kāi)團(tuán)隊(duì)會(huì)議，所以我說(shuō)，“好?。∥覀儊?lái)開(kāi)會(huì)吧?！闭麅蓚€(gè)小時(shí)，他們列舉了很多例子，讓我知道自己的自大讓他們感到受傷和輕視，這次是“好吧……”，不是“好啊”。他們向我解釋?zhuān)麄冃枰С?，而非貶低。他們想要被督促，而非被摧毀。他們想要被激勵(lì)，而非被施壓或威逼。這是我的暫停，我選擇做出改變。

04:45

Being a dogmatic dictator may producecompliant, good little soldiers, but it doesn't develop champions in life. Itis so much easier, in any walk of life, to dictate and give orders than toactually figure out how to motivate someone to want to be better. And thereason is -- we all know this -- motivation takes a really long time to takeroot. But when it does, it is character-building and life-altering.

做一個(gè)獨(dú)斷專(zhuān)行的獨(dú)裁者，也許會(huì)獲得順從、優(yōu)秀的小士兵，但它無(wú)法培養(yǎng)人生贏家。在生活的各方面，獨(dú)裁和發(fā)號(hào)施令比切實(shí)想出如何激勵(lì)某人，想要去變得更好，要容易多了。原因在于——我們都知道這點(diǎn)——激勵(lì)真的需要很長(zhǎng)的時(shí)間去生根。但一旦扎根，它就會(huì)塑造品格和改變?nèi)松?/p>

05:22

I realized that I needed to fortify ourstudent-athletes as whole human beings, not just athletes who won. So successfor me shifted from only focusing on winning to developing my coachingphilosophy, which is developing champions in life through sport. And I knew ifI did this well enough, that champion mentality would translate to thecompetition floor. And it did. The key ingredient was to develop trust throughpatience, respectful honesty and accountability -- all of the ingredients thatgo into tough love.

我意識(shí)到，需要加強(qiáng)學(xué)生運(yùn)動(dòng)員的整體素質(zhì)，而非只是為了獲勝。所以成功對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，從只關(guān)注于輸贏轉(zhuǎn)向了發(fā)展我的教練哲學(xué)，即通過(guò)體育來(lái)培養(yǎng)人生贏家。我知道如果我做得足夠好，那種贏家心態(tài)將會(huì)在賽場(chǎng)上得到體現(xiàn)，事實(shí)也確實(shí)如此。關(guān)鍵在于通過(guò)耐心，誠(chéng)實(shí)的尊重，以及負(fù)責(zé)去建立信任—— 所有這些關(guān)鍵因素 都可以是嚴(yán)厲的愛(ài)。

06:10

Speaking of tough love, Katelyn Ohashi is aperfect example of this. You may have all seen her floor routine. It has hadover 150 million views. And the consensus is, her performance is pure joy.However, when Katelyn came to UCLA, she was broken in body, mind and spirit.She had grown up in a stereotypical, very high-level athletic world, and shewas damaged. So when Katelyn came to UCLA her freshman year, she found herinner rebel quite well, to the point where she was no longer able to dogymnastics at the level at which she was recruited. And I will never forget ateam meeting we had halfway through her freshman season. We were in there withthe team, the coaching staff, the support staff, sports psychologist, andKatelyn very clearly and unapologetically said, "I just don't want to begreat again."

談到嚴(yán)厲的愛(ài)，凱特琳（Katelyn Ohashi）是一個(gè)很好的例子。你可能看過(guò)她的地板動(dòng)作，她的視頻有 1.5 億次觀看量。大家都認(rèn)為她樂(lè)在其中。然而，當(dāng)凱特琳來(lái)到加州大學(xué)洛杉磯分校時(shí)，她的狀態(tài)很糟。她在一個(gè)刻板的、非常高強(qiáng)度的運(yùn)動(dòng)世界中長(zhǎng)大，她已經(jīng)身心俱疲。所以當(dāng)凱特琳來(lái)到加州大學(xué)洛杉磯分校讀大一的時(shí)候，她的內(nèi)心變得有點(diǎn)叛逆，體操表現(xiàn)也不如剛?cè)腙?duì)時(shí)那樣出色了。我永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)忘記我們?cè)谒律具^(guò)半時(shí)開(kāi)的一次團(tuán)隊(duì)會(huì)議。我們整個(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)都出席了，包括教練組，內(nèi)勤組，運(yùn)動(dòng)心理學(xué)家，凱特琳面無(wú)愧色地說(shuō)：“我就是不想再次變得偉大?！?/p>

07:16

I felt like I got sucker punched. My firstthought was, "Then why the heck am I going to honor yourscholarship?" It was a really snarky thought, and thankfully I didn't sayit out loud, because then I had clarity. Katelyn didn't hate gymnastics.Katelyn hated everything associated with being great. Katelyn didn't want to bea winner, because winning at all cost had cost her her joy. My job was tofigure out how to motivate her to want to be great again, by helping her redefinesuccess.

我覺(jué)得自己仿佛挨了當(dāng)頭一棒。我的第一個(gè)想法是，“那我為什么要給你獎(jiǎng)學(xué)金呢？”這真是個(gè)非?？瘫〉南敕?，幸虧我沒(méi)大聲說(shuō)出來(lái)，因?yàn)殡S后我搞清楚了。凱特琳不是討厭體操。她討厭的是任何與變偉大相關(guān)的東西。凱特琳不想獲勝，因?yàn)椴挥?jì)成本地獲勝犧牲了她的快樂(lè)。我的工作就是要通過(guò)幫助她重新定義成功，激勵(lì)她想要再創(chuàng)輝煌。

08:02

My enthusiasm for that challenge turnedinto determination when one day Katelyn looked me in the eye and said,"Ms. Val, I just want you to know, everything you tell me to do, I do theexact opposite."

而讓我對(duì)這個(gè)挑戰(zhàn)的熱情 變成了決心的是，有天凱特琳看著我的眼睛說(shuō)，“瓦爾女士，我只想讓你知道，我處處都想和你唱反調(diào)。”

08:14

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

08:17

Yeah, it was like, yeah, Katelyn, challengeaccepted. OK.

沒(méi)錯(cuò)。我只好在心里說(shuō)，好吧凱特琳，我接受你的挑戰(zhàn)。

08:20

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

08:22

And further proof that dictating was notgoing to win. So I embarked on the painfully slow process of building trust andproving to her that first and foremost I cared about her as a whole humanbeing. Part of my strategy was to only talk to Katelyn about gymnastics in thegym. Outside of the gym, we talked about everything else: school, boys,families, friends, hobbies. I encouraged her to find things outside of hersport that brought her joy. And it was so cool to see the process of KatelynOhashi literally blossom before our eyes. And through that process, sherediscovered her self-love and self-worth. And slowly, she was able to bringthat joy back to her gymnastics. She went on to earn the NCAA title on floor,and she helped our team win our seventh NCAA championship in 2018.

這進(jìn)一步證明了命令起不了作用。于是我走上了建立信任這條痛苦的漫漫長(zhǎng)路，也為了向她證明我最在乎的是她這個(gè)人本身。我的策略之一是只在體育館里討論體操。在體育館外，我們討論其他任何話(huà)題：學(xué)校，男孩，家庭，朋友，愛(ài)好。我鼓勵(lì)她尋找體育之外能帶給她快樂(lè)的東西?？吹絼P特琳在我們眼前開(kāi)始慢慢綻放，這感覺(jué)真是太美妙了。通過(guò)這個(gè)過(guò)程，她重新發(fā)現(xiàn)了自愛(ài)和自我價(jià)值。慢慢的，她能夠把那種歡樂(lè)帶回到她的體操訓(xùn)練中。她贏得了美國(guó)大學(xué)體育協(xié)會(huì)（NCAA）自由體操比賽的冠軍，并幫助我們隊(duì)在 2018 年贏得了第七次 NCAA 冠軍。

09:32

So --

所以——

09:33

Thank you.

謝謝。

09:34

(Applause)

（鼓掌）

09:38

So let's think about the Katelyn Ohashis inyour life. Let's think about those people under your care and your guidance.What are you telling your kids on the car ride home? That car ride home hasmuch more impact than you know. Are you focusing on the end result, or are youexcited to use that time to help your child develop into a champion? It's verysimple: you will know you're focusing on the end result if you ask questionsabout the end result. "Did you win?" "How many points did youscore?" "Did you get an A?" If you truly are motivated abouthelping your child develop into a champion, you will ask questions about theexperience and the process, like, "What did you learn today?""Did you help a teammate?" And, my favorite question, "Did youfigure out how to have fun at working really, really hard?"

那么讓我們想想你生活中的凱特琳。讓我們想想那些在你的照料和指導(dǎo)下的人。在回家的路上你怎么跟孩子說(shuō)的？接送孩子回家 那段路程的影響超過(guò)你的想象。你是關(guān)注最終結(jié)果，還是會(huì)很興奮地利用那個(gè)時(shí)間把你的孩子變成人生贏家？這非常簡(jiǎn)單： 如果你問(wèn)孩子的是結(jié)果，就說(shuō)明你只在乎最終結(jié)果?！澳阙A了嗎？”“你得了幾分？”“你的成績(jī)是 A 嗎？”如果你是真的想幫孩子成為贏家，你問(wèn)的問(wèn)題就會(huì)是關(guān)于經(jīng)驗(yàn)和過(guò)程。比如，“你今天學(xué)到了什么？”“你幫助其他隊(duì)友了嗎？”而我最?lèi)?ài)的問(wèn)題是，“你在非常，非常努力時(shí)，有樂(lè)在其中嗎？”

10:45

And then the key is to be very still andlisten to their response. I believe that one of the greatest gifts we can giveanother human being is to silence our minds from the need to be right or theneed to formulate the appropriate response and truly listen when someone elseis talking. And in silencing our minds, we actually hear our own fears andinadequacies, which can help us formulate our response with more clarity andempathy.

然后，關(guān)鍵是要專(zhuān)心傾聽(tīng)他們的回應(yīng)。我認(rèn)為我們可以給予別人最好的禮物就是不要覺(jué)得凡事都必須如我們想的那樣正確，也不需要刻意營(yíng)造恰當(dāng)?shù)幕貞?yīng)方式，而是當(dāng)別人講話(huà)時(shí)，用心傾聽(tīng)。擯棄自己的那些想法，能幫助我們聽(tīng)到自己的恐懼和不足，讓我們開(kāi)始思考，該怎樣更清楚、更有同情心的回應(yīng)。

11:26

Kyla Ross, another one of our gymnasts, isone of the greatest gymnasts in the history of the sport. She's the onlyathlete to have earned the trifecta: she's a national champion, a worldchampion and an Olympic champion. She's also not one for small talk, so I was abit surprised one day when she came to my office, sat on the couch and juststarted talking -- first about her major, then about graduate school and thenabout everything else that seemed to pop into her mind. My inner voice whisperedto me that something was on her mind, and if I was still and gave her enoughtime, it would come out. And it did. It was the first time that Kyla had sharedwith anyone that she had been sexually abused by Larry Nassar, the former USAGymnastics team doctor, who was later convicted of being a serial childmolester. Kyla came forward and joined the army of Nassar survivors who sharedtheir stories and used their voices to invoke positive change for our world.

凱拉·羅斯（Kyla Ross），我們的另一位體操運(yùn)動(dòng)員，是同類(lèi)項(xiàng)目體育史上最偉大的體操運(yùn)動(dòng)員之一。她是唯一的一位三冠王運(yùn)動(dòng)員：她是國(guó)家冠軍，世界冠軍和奧林匹克冠軍。她也不喜歡閑聊，所以當(dāng)她有天來(lái)到我辦公室時(shí)，我有點(diǎn)驚訝。她坐在沙發(fā)上，開(kāi)始主動(dòng)交談起來(lái)——首先是關(guān)于她的專(zhuān)業(yè)，然后是關(guān)于研究生院，再然后是其他任何進(jìn)入她腦海中的話(huà)題。我內(nèi)在的聲音告訴我，她心中一定有什么事情，假如我保持安靜，給她足夠的時(shí)間，她就會(huì)吐露心聲。確實(shí)如此。這是凱拉第一次跟別人分享她被前美國(guó)體操隊(duì)隊(duì)醫(yī)拉里·納薩爾（Larry Nassar）性虐待的事，他后來(lái)被判犯有一系列猥褻兒童罪。凱拉站出來(lái)，加入了納薩爾幸存者的陣營(yíng)，去分享她們的故事，并且使用她們的聲音為我們的世界帶來(lái)了積極的變化。

12:50

I felt it was extremely important at thattime to provide a safe space for Kyla and our team. And so I chose to talkabout this in a few team meetings. Later that year, we won the nationalchampionship, and after we did, Kyla came up to me and shared with me the factthat she felt one reason that we'd won was because we had addressed theelephant in the room, the tragedy that had not only rocked the world but thathad liberated the truths and the memories in herself and in so many of herfriends and her peers. As Kyla said, "Ms. Val, I literally felt myselfwalk taller as the season went on, and when I walked onto that championshipfloor, I felt invincible." Simply --

我感到在那個(gè)時(shí)刻，為凱拉和我們的團(tuán)隊(duì)提供安全空間至關(guān)重要。所以我選擇在少數(shù)幾個(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)會(huì)議上討論這個(gè)話(huà)題。同年，我們贏得了全國(guó)冠軍，在我們贏得冠軍后，凱拉過(guò)來(lái)和我分享，她覺(jué)得我們之所以能贏，是因?yàn)橛掠谥泵胬Ь?，這個(gè)悲劇不僅震驚了世界，但也解放了她和她如此多的朋友和同伴們內(nèi)心的 真相和記憶。正如凱拉所說(shuō)，“瓦爾女士，這個(gè)賽季 我覺(jué)得自己更上了一層樓，當(dāng)我步入決賽時(shí)，我覺(jué)得自己是不可戰(zhàn)勝的?！敝皇恰?/p>

13:49

(Applause)

（鼓掌）

14:01

Simply because she had been heard.

只是因?yàn)橛腥嗽敢鈨A聽(tīng)她了。

14:05

As parents, as coaches, as leaders, we canno longer lead from a place where winning is our only metric of success, whereour ego sits center stage, because it has been proven that that process producesbroken human beings. And I emphatically know that it is absolutely possible toproduce and train champions in life in every single walk of life withoutcompromising the human spirit.

無(wú)論是父母，教練，還是領(lǐng)袖，我們不能僅僅以獲勝當(dāng)作成功與否的考量，也不能只考慮到自己的自尊。因?yàn)槭聦?shí)已經(jīng)證明了，那個(gè)過(guò)程只能會(huì)讓他人受傷。我很清楚，我們絕對(duì)可以在生活中的各行各業(yè)都去培養(yǎng)和訓(xùn)練人生贏家，而無(wú)需犧牲人類(lèi)的精神。

14:43

(Applause)

（鼓掌）

14:50

It starts with defining success foryourself and those under your care and then consistently self-examining whetheryour actions are in alignment with your goals.

必須先為你自己和那些受你照顧的人定義成功，并且不間斷地自我檢查你的行動(dòng)是否和你的目標(biāo)一致。

15:08

We are all coaches in some capacity. We allhave a collective responsibility to develop champions in life for our world.That is what real success looks like, and in the world of athletics, that iswhat we call a win-win.

在某種程度上，我們都是教練。我們都承擔(dān)著共同的責(zé)任，去為我們的世界培養(yǎng)人生贏家。這才是真正的成功，并且在運(yùn)動(dòng)員的世界中，這就是我們所說(shuō)的雙贏。

15:31

Thank you.

謝謝。

15:32

(Applause)

（鼓掌）