演講MP3+雙語文稿:一位雙性人的演講：我們理解性別的方式是錯誤

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【演講人】Emily Quinn

【演講主題】我們看待生理性別的方式是錯誤的

【演講文稿-中英文】

翻譯者 J Chen 校對：Sun leying

（本視頻包含成人內(nèi)容）

[This talk contains mature content]

我有一個陰道。

I have a vagina.

（笑聲）

（Laughter）

我只是覺得你們應(yīng)該知道。你們中的有些人可能并不會對此驚訝。我看上去是個女人。我想，我穿著也像個女人。事實上，我也有著睪丸。我需要很多勇氣站在這里和你們談我的生殖器官。或是一點(diǎn)勇氣。但我不是來談勇敢或是勇氣的。我說的是真的——我有睪丸。就在這里，就在你們很多人卵巢所在的地方。我既不是男人，也不是女人。我是雙性人。

Just thought you should know. That might not come as a surprise to some of you. I look like a woman. I'm dressed like one, I guess. The thing is, I also have balls. And it does take a lot of nerve to come up here and talk to you about my genitalia. Just a little. But I'm not talking about bravery or courage. I mean literally -- I have balls. Right here, right where a lot of you have ovaries. I'm not male or female. I'm intersex.

大部分人認(rèn)為人在生理上，要么是男人，要么是女人，但事實遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)比這復(fù)雜。成為雙性人的成因有很多。我的情況是，我出生就有XY染色體，你們也許知道這是男性染色體。我出生就有陰道，而睪丸在我的身體內(nèi)。我對睪丸酮沒有反應(yīng)，所以青春期時，我的胸部增大，但是從未有過粉刺，體毛或是（過多）油脂。你們也許會嫉妒吧。

Most people assume that you're biologically either a man or a woman, but it's actually a lot more complex than that. There are so many ways somebody could be intersex. In my case, it means I was born with XY chromosomes, which you probably know as male chromosomes. And I was born with a vagina and balls inside my body. I don't respond to testosterone, so during puberty, I grew breasts, but I never got acne or body hair, body oil. You can be jealous of that.

（笑聲）

（Laughter）

但是盡管我實際上沒有子宮——我出生時就沒有，所以我沒有月經(jīng)，我不能生孩子。我們根據(jù)人們的生殖器對其分類。甚至在孩子出生之前，我們就問是個男孩，還是個女孩，好像這事實上很重要似的；好像如果孩子沒有你想要的生殖器，你就會對有孩子這件事情不那么興奮似的；好像一個人腿間的東西（生殖器）能告訴你關(guān)于這個人的任何事情似的。他們善良、慷慨、有趣嗎？聰明嗎？當(dāng)他們長大時，他們想成為什么樣的人？

But even though I don't actually have a uterus -- I was born without one, so I don't menstruate, I can't have biological children. We put people in boxes based on their genitalia. Before a baby's even born, we ask whether it's a boy or a girl, as if it actually matters; as if you're going to be less excited about having a baby if it doesn't have the genitals you wanted; as if what's between somebody's legs tells you anything about that person. Are they kind, generous, funny? Smart? Who do they want to be when they grow up?

實際上，生殖器不會告訴你任何東西。但是，我們?nèi)愿鶕?jù)它們來定義自我。在這個社會，我們喜歡將人們分類，彼此互貼標(biāo)簽。這或許讓我們有了一絲歸屬感，教會我們?nèi)绾蜗嗷ソ涣?。但是這有一個很大的問題：生理性別不是非黑即白的。它是在一個區(qū)間上的。

Genitals don't actually tell you anything. Yet, we define ourselves by them. In this society, we love putting people into boxes and labeling each other. It kind of gives us a sense of belonging and teaches us how to interact with one another. But there's one really big problem: biological sex is not black or white. It's on a spectrum.

除了你的生殖器，你還有染色體，性腺，比如卵巢或睪丸。你有內(nèi)部性器官，荷爾蒙分泌，荷爾蒙反應(yīng)，以及第二性征，比如乳房發(fā)育和體毛等等。生理性別的七個方面，都存在著很多的變化，但我們只面臨著兩個選擇：男性或女性。這讓我感到有些荒謬，因為我無法想到任何其他的人類特征，只存在兩個選項：膚色、頭發(fā)、身高、眼睛。你只可以有A類鼻子或B類鼻子，沒有其他選項。

Besides your genitalia, you also have your chromosomes, your gonads, like ovaries or testicles. You have your internal sex organs, your hormone production, your hormone response and your secondary sex characteristics, like breast development, body hair, etc. Those seven areas of biological sex all have so much variation, yet we only get two options: male or female. Which is kind of absurd to me, because I can't think of a single other human trait that there's only two options for: skin color, hair, height, eyes. You can either have nose A or nose B, that's it, no other options.

如果有無數(shù)種方式來呈現(xiàn)我們的身體，來定義我們的思維，來表現(xiàn)我們的個性，那么在生理性別上存在多種選擇，不也就說得通了嗎？你們知道除了XX或XY染色體，你可以同時擁有XX和XY染色體嗎？或是你可以多有一個X——XXY?；蚴嵌鄡蓚€X——XXXY。以此類推。對于那么只有XX或XY的“正?！比藖碚f，這意味著什么？我擁有XY染色體。如果在犯罪現(xiàn)場發(fā)現(xiàn)了我的基因，只是打個比方，但是誰知道呢。

If there are infinite ways for our bodies to look, our minds to think, personalities to act, wouldn't it make sense that there's that much variety in biological sex, too? Did you know that besides XX or XY chromosomes, you could have XX and XY chromosomes? Or you could have an extra X -- XXY. Or two extra -- XXXY. Goes on from there. And for those "normal" people with XX or XY, what does that mean? I have XY chromosomes. If my DNA is found at the scene of a crime -- not saying it will, but, you know, we'll see.

（笑聲）

（Laughter）

如果我的骨骼在數(shù)千年后被發(fā)現(xiàn)，我會被標(biāo)記成男性。真是這樣嗎？我的睪丸會說是的。但我的其他部分呢？如果一個女人得了卵巢癌，不得不摘掉她的卵巢呢？她還算是個女人嗎？那些生來沒有睪丸或卵巢的雙性人，或是只有一種，或是兩者都有的雙性人呢？他們該何去何從？必須得擁有子宮，才能算得上女人嗎？我們中的很多都生來沒有子宮。

If my skeleton is discovered thousands of years from now, I'll be labeled male. Is that the truth? My balls would say so. But what about the rest of me? And what if a woman has ovarian cancer and has to have her ovaries removed? Does she still qualify as a woman? What about other intersex people who are born without balls or ovaries or with just one or a combination of the two? Where do they go? Do you have to have a uterus to be a woman? There's a lot of us who are born without one.

下面是大家喜聞樂見的部分，生殖器：要么是這一個，要么是另一個，對嗎？你要么有這么粗的六英寸長的陰莖，以90度角伸出身體，要么有內(nèi)部這么寬的陰道，和位于陰道口上方半英寸的陰蒂，以及看上去就和它們應(yīng)該看上去一樣的陰唇，就像你某次從色情片里看到的那樣。你應(yīng)該記起來了。如果你一生中有過多于一個的性伴侶，你把他們一個接一個排起來，我保證你可以根據(jù)他們的生殖器認(rèn)出他們。

And everyone's favorite part, genitalia: you either have one or the other, right? You either have a six-inch-long penis that's exactly this thick, jutting straight out of the body at a 90-degree angle, or you have a vagina that's this wide internally and a clitoris that's half an inch above the vaginal opening and labia that look exactly like they're supposed to look like, according to that one porn video you watched that one time. You know the one. If you've been with more than one sexual partner in your lifetime, and you line them up, one by one, I guarantee you can identify them just by their genitalia.

（笑聲）

（Laughter）

想想看吧。繼續(xù)想。

Think about it. Go on.

（笑聲）

（Laughter）

我懂你們。不做評判。只是說說。都不一樣，對吧？

I see you. No judging. Just notice. All different, right?

性和性別這對二元組合在我們的社會里十分根深蒂固，我們每時每刻都會想到。我們自動的把彼此分進(jìn)一個類別，或是剩下的一個類別，好像這真的很重要似的。直到有人讓你對此產(chǎn)生懷疑。如果你們認(rèn)為我是個例外、是個反?，F(xiàn)象、是個非典型案例：人群中有2%的人為雙性人。這和人群中紅色頭發(fā)的人數(shù)比例相當(dāng)。相當(dāng)于大約有1.5億人，這比整個俄羅斯的人口還要多。所以不必多言，我們數(shù)量龐大。我們既不是新產(chǎn)生的，也不是少見的。我們只是隱形罷了。我們在歷史上的每個文化里都存在過。但是，我們從不提及這件事。

The sex and gender binary are both so ingrained in our society, that we never stop to think about it. We just automatically place each other into one box or the other, as if it actually matters. Until somebody comes along to make you question it. And if you're thinking that I'm the exception, an anomaly, an outlier: intersex people represent around two percent of the population. That's the same percentage as genetic redheads. It's about 150 million people, roughly, which is more than the entire population of Russia. So there's a lot of us, needless to say. We're not new or rare. We're just invisible. We've existed throughout every culture in history. Yet, we never talk about it.

事實上，許多人或許不知道他們是雙性人。你們是否參加過核型測試來確定你們的染色體？是否取過一整版的血樣來測試你們的荷爾蒙水平？去年，我的一個朋友在他50多歲時才發(fā)現(xiàn)。interACT這個在美國為雙性人爭取權(quán)利的先鋒組織的執(zhí)行董事，她在41歲時才發(fā)現(xiàn)她是雙性人。她的醫(yī)生們在她15歲時就知道了，但是他們沒有告訴她。他們謊稱她得了癌癥，因為這看上去比說她不“完全”是個女人來的要簡單。這類事情經(jīng)常發(fā)生，即在身體這件事上，雙性人被欺騙，被蒙在鼓里，人們?yōu)榇烁械襟@訝。但是我們生活在這個一點(diǎn)都不談?wù)撔曰蛏眢w的社會里，除非是嘲弄對方。

In fact, a lot of people might not know that they're intersex. Have you had a karyotype test to determine your chromosomes? What about a full blood panel for all of your hormone levels? A friend of mine found out last year, in his 50s. The executive director of interACT, which is the leading organization for intersex human rights here in the US, she found out she was intersex at age 41. Her doctors found out when she was 15, but they didn't tell her. They lied and said that she had cancer, because that seemed like an easier option than finding out she wasn't "fully" a woman. This kind of thing happens a lot, where intersex people are lied to or kept in the dark about our bodies, which comes as a surprise to a lot of people. But we live in a society that doesn't talk about sex or bodies at all, unless it's to mock or shame each other.

我在10歲時發(fā)現(xiàn)了我是雙性人，大部分時間來說，我坦然接受了這一點(diǎn)。這沒怎么讓我驚恐；我那時還在形成我對世界的理解。直到我長得更大了些時，我才意識到我不符合社會對我的期許，我不屬于這里，我是個異類。那時，羞恥感開始產(chǎn)生了。多少次，你看到過孩子們和他們性別“相左”的 玩具玩耍？或是穿上了“不對”的衣服？一直都有，對嗎？孩子們對性別規(guī)范沒有概念，他們不會對他們應(yīng)該成為什么樣的人，或是他們應(yīng)該愛什么樣的人產(chǎn)生羞恥感。他們對這些事情毫不關(guān)心。他們不會感到羞恥，直到我們強(qiáng)加給他們。

I found out I was intersex at age 10, and for the most part, I was fine with that information. It didn't really faze me; I was still developing my understanding of the world. It wasn't until I got older and realized I didn't fit society's expectations of me, that I didn't belong, that I was abnormal. And that's when the shame started. How many times have you seen kids play with the "wrong" toys for their gender? Or try on the "wrong" clothes? All the time, right? Kids don't have these ideas about gender norm, they don't have shame about who they're supposed to be or what they're supposed to like or love. They don't care about any of this stuff. They don't have shame until we put it on them.

我的醫(yī)生們也對我撒了謊。10歲時，他們對我說如果我不移除我的睪丸的話，我就會得癌癥。然后，他們每年都會這么對我說。直至今日，仍有醫(yī)生告訴我要摘掉它們。但是，這背后真的沒有原因。如果一個典型的XY男性，比如你自己，有睪丸的話，而其中一個是未降睪丸，那么這個睪丸很可能會發(fā)展出癌癥——或是有更高的癌癥風(fēng)險。睪丸需要溫控調(diào)節(jié)。所以它們會下降遠(yuǎn)離身體來降溫，或是收縮回升來升溫。我的睪丸不會這么做。它們不對睪丸酮產(chǎn)生反應(yīng)，它們不會產(chǎn)生精子。它們在我的身體里好好的。但是，由于對雙性人知識的匱乏，我的醫(yī)生們永遠(yuǎn)都不知道這其中的差別。他們永遠(yuǎn)都不能真正理解我的身體。

I also had doctors lie to me. At age 10, they told me that I would also get cancer unless I removed my balls. Then they proceeded to tell me that every year. Until today, there are still doctors who want me to remove them. But there's literally no reason. If a typical XY male, like yourself, has testicles, and one is undescended, there's a high chance of it becoming cancerous -- or a higher chance of it becoming cancerous. They need to thermoregulated. So they drop down away from the body to cool off, or they shrink back up to get warm. Mine don't need to do that. They're not responding to testosterone, they're not producing sperm. They're fine right here inside my body. Yet, because there's such a lack of information about intersex people, my doctors never understood the difference. They never really understood my body.

隨著我長大，我遇到另一個醫(yī)生，告訴我，我的陰道需要動手術(shù)。她告訴我，除非我動手術(shù)，除非她主刀，否則我將不能和我的丈夫有 “正常的性行為”。她的原話。最終我沒有進(jìn)行手術(shù)，我十分感激我的決定。我在這就不談我的性生活了。

As I got older, I had another doctor tell me that I needed to have surgery on my vagina. She said that until I had an operation, until she operated, I would not be able to have "normal sex" with my husband one day. Her words. I didn't end up going through with the operation, and I'm incredibly grateful for that. I'm not here to talk about my sex life.

（笑聲）

（Laughter）

其實我的性生活挺不錯的。

But let's just say it's fine.

（笑聲）

（Laughter）

我很好，我的身體也很好。如果我不告訴你們的話，你們實際上不會發(fā)現(xiàn)我和另一個人的區(qū)別；你們不會發(fā)現(xiàn)我是雙性人，除非我告訴你們。但又一次，因為對于身體知識的匱乏，我的醫(yī)生沒法理解其中的區(qū)別。大部分時間來說，我的性生活很不錯。唯一真正的問題是，有時，性情景會勾起醫(yī)生觸碰我時的回憶，從我十歲起，一遍又一遍的觸碰。我很幸運(yùn)能夠逃脫——沒想到我竟然有些不能自已——我很幸運(yùn)能夠逃脫來自那些不必要的手術(shù)的生理傷害。但是雙性人無法避免來自社會的精神傷害，這個雙性人生存的社會，在努力掩蓋他們的存在。我的許多雙性人朋友都做了這樣的手術(shù)。許多時候，他們會移除像我身體內(nèi)一樣的睪丸，盡管我患睪丸癌的概率要小于一個沒有疾病體質(zhì)、沒有家族病史的正常女人患乳腺癌的概率。但是我們不會讓她摘掉乳房，是嗎？

I'm fine, my body is fine. You actually wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between me and another person unless I told you; you wouldn't be able to tell that I was intersex unless I told you. But again, because of the lack of understanding about bodies, my doctor didn't understand the difference. And for the most part, my sex life is fine. The only issue that really comes up is that sometimes, sexual situations bring up memories of doctors touching me, over and over again since I was 10. I've been really lucky to escape -- I didn't think I would get emotional -- I've been really lucky to escape the physical harm that comes from these unnecessary surgeries. But no intersex person is free from the emotional harm that comes from living in a society that tries to cover up your existence. Most of my intersex friends have had operations like these. Oftentimes, they will remove testes like mine, even though my risk of testicular cancer is lower than the risk of breast cancer in a typical woman with no predisposition, no family history. But we don't tell her to remove her breasts, do we?

很難找到?jīng)]有做過手術(shù)的雙性人。很多時候，這些手術(shù)的目的是為了提高雙性人孩子的生命質(zhì)量，但是它們往往起了反作用，造成了更多的傷害和綜合征，既有身體上的，也有心理上的。我不是說所有的醫(yī)生都是壞的或是邪惡的。我只是說，我們生活在這么一個社會，促使醫(yī)生去“修正”我們這些不符合他們定義的正常的人。我們不是需要被修正的問題。我們只是生活在一個需要被教化的社會里。

It's rare to meet an intersex person that hasn't been operated on. Oftentimes, these surgeries are done to improve intersex kids' lives, but they usually end up doing the opposite, causing more harm and complications, both physical and emotional. I'm not saying that doctors are bad or evil. It's just that we live in a society that causes some doctors to "fix" those of us who don't fit their definition of normal. We're not problems that need to be fixed. We just live in a society that needs to be enlightened.

我正在嘗試的一種方法是，創(chuàng)造無性別的青春期指南，在孩子成長的過程中教他們認(rèn)知自己的身體。不是女孩的身體或是男孩的身體——只是他們的身體。我們常常對我們無法控制的身體上的事情有著不切實際的期許。我是說，如果一個人可以長出濃郁的、茂密的、嬉皮士般的胡子，而另一個人只能長出幾撮小胡子，這對于判斷他們是不是男性意味著什么？什么都沒有。最有可能的解釋只有，他們的毛囊細(xì)胞對睪丸酮的反應(yīng)不盡相同。但是，你們何曾聽過多少男人會因為類似的事情感到羞愧嗎？

One of the ways I'm doing that is by creating a genderless puberty guidebook that can teach kids about their bodies as they grow up. Not their girl bodies or their boy bodies -- just their bodies. We often place unrealistic expectations on the things that our bodies do that are outside of our control. I mean, if one man can grow a full, luxurious, hipster beard, and the other can only grow a few mustache hairs, what does that mean about who they are as men? Nothing. It literally, most likely, just means that their hair follicles respond to testosterone in different ways. Yet, how many times have you heard a man ashamed about something like this?

試想這樣一個世界，在這個社會中，人們不會因為身體擁有某個特點(diǎn)，或沒有某個特點(diǎn)，而感到羞愧。我想要改變這個社會上我們對于生理性別的看法——這需要做很多工作?；蛟S你們會說這很勇敢。

Imagine a world where we could live in a society that teaches us not to have shame about the things that our bodies do or do not do. I want to change the way that we think about biological sex in this society -- which is a lot to ask for. You could say it's ballsy, I guess.

（笑聲）

（Laughter）

但是最終我們接受了世界是圓的，不是嗎？我們不再認(rèn)為男同性戀患有精神疾病，或認(rèn)為女同性戀患有癔癥。我們不再認(rèn)為癲癇是惡魔附體，這很好對吧。

But eventually we accepted the world as round, right? We no longer diagnose gay people with mental disorders or women with hysteria. We don't think epilepsy is caused by the devil anymore, so that's cool.

（笑聲）

（Laughter）

我們不斷地改變和演進(jìn)，作為社會也因我們越來越理解開化。生理性別是在一個區(qū)間上的。它不是非黑即白。這樣的知識不僅能夠拯救雙性人孩子免于身體和精神的傷害，而且我認(rèn)為這也有助于所有人。這里有沒有人曾經(jīng)因為不夠女孩子，或是太女孩子氣了，抑或是不夠男子漢，或是太男子氣了而感到?jīng)]有自信或羞恥？我們一直都因人們不按其類別行事而羞辱他們，但是事實是，我認(rèn)為我們羞辱他人是為了讓他人不會意識到我們也沒有按類行事。真相是沒有人真正歸屬于一類，因為類別并不存在。這個雙元的，錯誤的男-女表象只是我們自己構(gòu)建出來的東西。它沒有必要存在。我們可以瓦解掉它。這就是我想做的。你們愿意加入我嗎？

We constantly change and evolve, the more we understand as a society. And biological sex is on a spectrum. It's not black or white. Not only could that knowledge save intersex kids from physical and emotional harm, I think it would help everyone else, too. Who here has ever felt inadequate or ashamed because you weren't girly enough, you were too girly, you weren't manly enough, or too manly? We constantly shame people for not fitting into a box, but the reality is, I think we shame others because it prevents them from seeing that we don't fit inside our boxes, either. And the truth is that nobody actually fits in a box, because they don't exist. This binary, this false male-female facade is something we constructed, we built ourselves. But it doesn't have to exist. We can break it down. And that's what I want to do. Will you join me?

謝謝。

Thanks.

（掌聲）

（Applause）