What's happening? Are we finally gonna trash Caroline?
怎么了?你終于要來說卡洛琳的壞話了嗎?
No, I need your help. I watched four chick flicks back-to-back,
不,我需要你的幫忙。我連續(xù)不斷地看了四部愛情爛片,
then I made a list of possible ways to tell Caroline I love her.
想出了幾個告訴卡洛琳我愛她的可行辦法。
I was gonna make more, but I got my period.
我本來還想多列幾個,但我看得月經(jīng)都來了。
Okay, run the choices past me.
好的,把你的選項都跟我說一遍。
Whichever one makes me want to hurl the most, that's your winner.
哪一個讓我聽了最想吐,就是最佳的選擇了。
I could play a song for her outside of her apartment,
我可以在她公寓外放歌,
but keep in mind how hard it is to find a boom box in 2012.
不過都2012年了,大手提收音機很難找。
Yeah, plus, if you do that outside our apartment, you'll be shot. By me.
對啊,而且如果你在我們公寓外面搞這個,你會被我...亂搶射死。
Okay, what about sharing cocoa and a hot dog on the ice rink in central park?
好吧,那在中央公園的溜冰場倆人共喝熱可可,共享熱狗時呢?
Yup, that's it. Makes me want to take my head off and throw it into the street.
行,就這個。讓我想把自己的腦袋扯下來然后扔到大街上去。
Cool. Oh, and, Max,
很好。對了,麥克斯,
I think I'm the only straight guy on earth who knows the difference between Dylan Mcdermott and Dermott Mulroney,
我覺得我是地球上唯一能區(qū)別迪倫·麥克德莫特與德蒙特·莫羅尼的直男了
and that, my friend, is love.
而朋友,這就是愛啊。
Oh, what's that funky-ass smell? Do they finally sell pepperoni febreze?
這是什么狗屁味道?出意大利香腸味的除臭劑了嗎?
Max, this already isn't working.
麥克斯,這樣完全不行。
The stinky salami, the gaudy chandelier? It's like a haunted Quiznos in here.
臭哄哄的蒜味香腸,艷俗的大吊燈。這就像一家鬧鬼的快餐店。
Hey, I'm sending Oleg to Queens to pick up a flat of Fresca. Yeah.
我讓奧列格去皇后區(qū)買一箱柑橘味飲料,沒錯。
There's nothing better with a hoagie than an ice-cold fresca.
冰柑橘飲料配何奇三明治可是最棒的組合。
That's what I wanted!
我就是在想著那個呢
Look... they'll go great with the pickled eggs!
聽著...配上腌雞蛋風味更佳哦!
This just went from my dream to a nightmare.
我的夢想正式變成了惡夢。