(雙語)月亮和六便士 第39章(5)

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I really felt something of the emotion that had caught him. I was strangely impressed. It was as though I were suddenly transported into a world in which the values were changed. I stood by, at a loss, like a stranger in a land where the reactions of man to familiar things are all different from those he has known. Stroeve tried to talk to me about the picture, but he was incoherent, and I had to guess at what he meant. Strickland had burst the bonds that hitherto had held him. He had found, not himself, as the phrase goes, but a new soul with unsuspected powers. It was not only the bold simplification of the drawing which showed so rich and so singular a personality; it was not only the painting, though the flesh was painted with a passionate sensuality which had in it something miraculous; it was not only the solidity, so that you felt extraordinarily the weight of the body; there was also a spirituality, troubling and new, which led the imagination along unsuspected ways, and suggested dim empty spaces, lit only by the eternal stars, where the soul, all naked, adventured fearful to the discovery of new mysteries.

激動著施特略夫的那種感情我確實體會到了；他說的這些話奇怪地把我打動了。我好象突然被帶進(jìn)一個全部事物的價值都改變了的世界里。我茫然不知所措地站在一旁，好象一個到了異鄉(xiāng)的陌生人，在那里，一個人對于他所熟悉的事物的各種反應(yīng)都與過去的不同了。施特略夫盡量想把他見到的這幅畫描述給我聽，但是他說得前言不搭后語，許多意思都只能由我猜測。思特里克蘭德已經(jīng)把那一直束縛著的桎梏打碎了。他并沒有象俗話所說的“尋找到自己”，而是尋找到一個新的靈魂，一個具有意料不到的巨大力量的靈魂。這幅畫之所以能顯示出這樣強烈、這樣獨特的個性，并不只是因為它那極為大膽的簡單的線條，不只是因為它的處理方法（盡管那肉體被畫得帶有一種強烈的、幾乎可以說是奇妙的欲情），也不只是因為它給人的實體感，使你幾乎奇異地感覺到那肉體的重量，而且還因為它有一種純精神的性質(zhì)，一種使你感到不安、感到新奇的精神，把你的幻想引向前所未經(jīng)的路途，把你帶到一個朦朧空虛的境界，那里為探索新奇的神秘只有永恒的星辰在照耀，你感到自己的靈魂一無牽掛，正經(jīng)歷著各種恐怖和冒險。

If I am rhetorical it is because Stroeve was rhetorical. (Do we not know that man in moments of emotion expresses himself naturally in the terms of a novelette?) Stroeve was trying to express a feeling which he had never known before, and he did not know how to put it into common terms. He was like the mystic seeking to describe the ineffable. But one fact he made clear to me; people talk of beauty lightly, and having no feeling for words, they use that one carelessly, so that it loses its force; and the thing it stands for, sharing its name with a hundred trivial objects, is deprived of dignity. They call beautiful a dress, a dog, a sermon; and when they are face to face with Beauty cannot recognise it. The false emphasis with which they try to deck their worthless thoughts blunts their susceptibilities. Like the charlatan who counterfeits a spiritual force he has sometimes felt, they lose the power they have abused. But Stroeve, the unconquerable buffoon, had a love and an understanding of beauty which were as honest and sincere as was his own sincere and honest soul. It meant to him what God means to the believer, and when he saw it he was afraid.

如果我在這里有些舞文弄墨，使用了不少形象比喻，這是因為施特略夫當(dāng)時就是這么表達(dá)他自己的。（估量大家都知道，一旦感情激動起來，一個人會很自然地玩弄起文學(xué)詞藻來的。）施特略夫企圖表達(dá)的是一種他過去從來沒經(jīng)歷過的感覺，如果用一般的言語，他簡直不知道該如何說出口來。他象是一個神秘主義者費力地宣講一個無法言傳的道理。但是有一件事我還是清楚的：人們動不動就談美，實際上對這個詞并不理解；這個詞已經(jīng)使用得太濫，失去了原有的力量；因為成千上萬的瑣屑事物都分享了“美”的稱號，這個詞已經(jīng)被剝奪掉它的崇高的含義了。一件衣服，一只狗，一篇布道詞，什么東西人們都用“美”來形容，當(dāng)他們面對面地遇到真正的美時，反而認(rèn)不出它來了。他們用以遮飾自己毫無價值的思想的虛假夸大使他們的感受力變得遲鈍不堪。正如一個假內(nèi)行有時也會感覺到自己是在無中生有地偽造某件器物的精神價值一樣，人們已經(jīng)失掉了他們用之過濫的賞識能力。但是施特略夫，這位本性無法改變的小丑，對于美卻有著真摯的愛和理解，正象他的靈魂也是誠實、真摯的一樣。對他說來，美就象虔誠教徒心目中的上帝一樣；一旦他見到真正美的事物，他變得恐懼萬分。