Stroeve sighed a little and was silent. His thoughts dwelt among pictures of what might have been, and the safety of the life he had refused filled him with longing.
施特略夫輕輕嘆了一口氣,沉默了一會(huì)兒。他的思想縈回在可能發(fā)生的這些圖景上,他自動(dòng)放棄的這種安全穩(wěn)定的生活使他無(wú)限眷戀。
The world is hard and cruel. We are here none knows why, and we go none knows whither. We must be very humble. We must see the beauty of quietness. We must go through life so inconspicuously that Fate does not notice us. And let us seek the love of simple, ignorant people. Their ignorance is better than all our knowledge. Let us be silent, content in our little corner, meek and gentle like them. That is the wisdom of life.
“世界是無(wú)情的、殘酷的。我們生到人世間沒(méi)有人知道為了什么,我們死后沒(méi)有人知道到何處去。我們必須自甘卑屈。我們必須看到冷清寂寥的美妙。在生活中我們一定不要出風(fēng)頭、露頭角,惹起命運(yùn)對(duì)我們注目。讓我們?nèi)で竽切┐緲?、敦厚的人的?ài)情吧。他們的愚昧遠(yuǎn)比我們的知識(shí)更為可貴。讓我們保持著沉默,滿足于自己小小的天地,象他們一樣平易溫順吧。這就是生活的智慧。”
To me it was his broken spirit that expressed itself, and I rebelled against his renunciation. But I kept my own counsel.
這一番話我聽(tīng)著象是他意志消沉的自白,我不同意他這種自暴自棄的態(tài)度。但是我也不想同他爭(zhēng)辯,宣講我的處世方針。
What made you think of being a painter? I asked.
“是什么使你想起當(dāng)畫(huà)家來(lái)呢?”我問(wèn)他道。
He shrugged his shoulders.
他聳了聳肩膀。
It happened that I had a knack for drawing. I got prizes for it at school. My poor mother was very proud of my gift, and she gave me a box of water-colours as a present. She showed my sketches to the pastor and the doctor and the judge. And they sent me to Amsterdam to try for a scholarship, and I won it. Poor soul, she was so proud; and though it nearly broke her heart to part from me, she smiled, and would not show me her grief. She was pleased that her son should be an artist.
“我湊巧有點(diǎn)兒繪畫(huà)的才能。在學(xué)校讀書(shū)的時(shí)候畫(huà)圖畫(huà)得過(guò)獎(jiǎng)。我的可憐的母親很為我這種本領(lǐng)感到自豪,買(mǎi)了一盒水彩送給我。她還把我的圖畫(huà)拿給牧師、醫(yī)生和法官去看。后來(lái)這些人把我送到阿姆斯特丹,讓我試一試能不能考取獎(jiǎng)學(xué)金入大學(xué)。我考取了??蓱z的母親,她驕傲得了不得。盡管同我分開(kāi)使她非常難過(guò),她還是強(qiáng)顏歡笑,不叫我看出她的傷心來(lái)。她非常高興,自己的兒子能成為個(gè)藝術(shù)家。
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