英語美文朗讀 第459期 Just do what feels right for you

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Show me your friends and I’ll soon tell you who you are, and what kind of life you will live. Those you CHOOSE to surround yourself with, will play a huge part in the quality of your life, or lack of quality in your life.

給我看看你的朋友，我很快就會告訴你你是誰，你會過什么樣的生活。選擇什么樣的朋友相伴，將直接決定你的生命質(zhì)量。

If you hang around with only angry and negative people… your life will be full of anger and negativity. If you surround yourself with kind, compassionate and positive people, your life will have more kindness, and positive energy. Who you surround yourself with is crucial, and sometimes it is important you reflect on those you are spending the most time with and asking yourself, do I really want these people in my life?

如果你只和憤怒、消極的人在一起，你的生活將充滿憤怒和消極。如果你身邊有善良、有同情心和積極的人，你的生活中將有更多的善良和正能量。你身邊的人是至關(guān)重要的，有時(shí)候，你必須要反省，那些在你身邊時(shí)間最長的朋友，我真的想要這些人在我的生命里嗎?

If you have any of these people in your life, it might be time to rethink how much time you spend with them, if any at all. It might not be easy to limit or end all interaction with these people, if they are friends, or family… but if they are not making your life, or theirs better by you spending time together, maybe it’s time for both of you to move on.

如果你的生活中有下面這樣的人，也許是時(shí)候重新考慮，你到底應(yīng)該花在他們身上多少時(shí)。如果他們是朋友或家人，減少與他們相處的時(shí)間可能并不容易……但是如果你們雙方在一起相處，生活都沒有變得更好，是時(shí)候向前邁進(jìn)一步了。

Number 1: Dishonest People

Number 2: Controlling People

Number 3: Angry, Bitter and Negative People (Victim Mentality)

Number 4: Takers (Never Givers)

Number 5: Those Who Have No Desire To Grow

第一：不誠實(shí)的人

第二：控制狂

第三：憤怒、痛苦和消極的人(受害者心態(tài))

第四：接受者(從不給予)

第五：那些不想成長的人

Let’s talk a little more about each personality so you can spot them, and if needed, limit your time, or end your time with them.

讓我們多談?wù)劽總€(gè)人的性格，這樣你就能發(fā)現(xiàn)他們，如果需要的話，限制你們相處的時(shí)間，或者根本不花時(shí)間在他們身上。

【Number 1: Dishonest People】

TRUST is a major human need for any relationship. Friendships, romantic relationships, family members – if you can’t trust them, limit your time with them. If they lie repeatedly or rarely give you the full story – this is a clear sign they don’t respect you. Address the problem with the person, if you can, and if the situation doesn’t change move on and move forward. Don’t respond with hate, or revenge in mind, just move on, take the high road, and let them play out their dishonesty elsewhere. Remember, if something feels off, it is most likely off.

在人類的任何關(guān)系中，信任都是最基本的需求。友誼，浪漫的關(guān)系，家庭成員——如果你不能信任他們，就減少與他們在一起的時(shí)間。如果他們反復(fù)說謊或很少給你完整的故事——這是一個(gè)明顯的跡象，他們不尊重你。如果可以的話，直接跟他們溝通這個(gè)問題，如果情況沒有改變，那么你該向前邁一步了。不要以仇恨或報(bào)復(fù)來回應(yīng)，只要繼續(xù)前進(jìn)，走上正道，不讓他們的不誠信干擾到你。記住，如果有什么東西感覺不對勁，那么很可能它就是有問題。

【Number 2: Controlling People】

Freedom is a basic human need we all share, and when we feel like another human is controlling us, or trying to, it is very uncomfortable and unnatural. When you limit, or end time with these kind of people, it will feel like a weight has been lifted of your back. That heavy burden you carry around being under someone else’s command is life-draining. Follow your heart, you know those who are right for you.

自由是人類共同的基本需要，當(dāng)我們覺得別人在控制我們，或試圖控制我們時(shí)，會感覺非常不舒服，不自然。當(dāng)你減少或結(jié)束與這些人在一起的時(shí)間時(shí)，你會感覺如釋重負(fù)。別人的控制會逐漸耗盡你的生命。跟著你的心走，你知道哪些朋友才是最適合你的。

【Number 3: Angry, Bitter and Negative People】

It goes without saying that your life will be better without angry, bitter and negative people in it, but you must be able to spot these people, sometimes their behaviour is more subtle than you might think. Constantly judging others, always blaming and living in the victim role, regularly getting into arguments with others… complaining, always finding the negative aspects of any situation… these kind of behaviours are not good for you, if you want to live a true happy, fulfilled life. Find those who see the positive in each situation, who respond with compassion, who can calm and light up any room. Your life will be much better for it.

毫無疑問，如果沒有憤怒、痛苦和消極的人，你的生活會更好，但你必須能夠發(fā)現(xiàn)這些人，有時(shí)他們的行為比你想象的要微妙。不斷地評判他人，總是責(zé)怪別人，扮演受害者的角色，經(jīng)常與他人爭吵……不斷抱怨，總是發(fā)現(xiàn)消極的一面……這些行為對你都不好，如果你想過一種真正快樂、充實(shí)的生活。找到那些在每一種情況下都看到積極一面的人，他們總是充滿同情，他們可以讓生活充滿光明。找到這樣的人，你的生活會更好。

【Number 4: Takers, Never Givers】

It’s pretty self explanatory, but it’s those who always EXPECT things to be given to them, to be done FOR them, but who rarely ever offer the same level of giving in return. It’s the person who calls you when they need you, but doesn’t answer when you need them. The one who will spend time with you when it suits them, but not when it doesn’t. It’s almost like they feel superior, or above you. Well, they are not. We are all equal, and if you find yourself in constant interaction with a taker – end that relationship and notice how good it feels.

這是很不言自明的，有些人總是希望得到別人的東西，總要別人為他們做事，但他們很少給與相應(yīng)的回報(bào)。當(dāng)他們需要你的時(shí)候打電話給你，但當(dāng)你需要他們的時(shí)候卻不接。他們覺得有利可圖時(shí)會跟你一塊玩，反之就離開了。好像他們自己高人一等，但其實(shí)，他們并不高明。我們都是平等的，如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己和這樣的朋友相處——立刻結(jié)束這種關(guān)系，你就會發(fā)現(xiàn)生活真美好。

【Number 5: Those Who Have No Desire To Grow】

If you are someone who is on a constant, never ending search for GROWTH and self development… spending time with those who aren’t can be very draining. You may not need to end your time with these people, they may be family, or life long friends…but to expect your greatest life, when you surround yourself with people who have zero intention of getting better, EVER – that’s insanity.

如果你是一個(gè)不斷追求成長和自我發(fā)展的人……花時(shí)間和那些不追求自我成長的人在一起，可能會讓你筋疲力盡。你可能沒法完全與他們斷開聯(lián)系，他們可能是家人，或者是終身的朋友……但是當(dāng)你和那些不思進(jìn)取的人待在一塊，不要指望自己的生命有什么起色。

At the end of the day YOU CHOOSE who you spend time with, and you choose who you spend the most time with. You don’t have to be rude, or abrupt or disrespectful when limiting or ending time you spend with people – you don’t even have to explain WHY. Just do what feels right for you, because that, is usually what is right for everyone involved.

最終，你選擇與誰共度時(shí)光，選擇與誰共度時(shí)光最多。想要縮短或者停止與他人相處的時(shí)間時(shí)，你不必粗魯、唐突或無禮——你甚至不必解釋原因。你只需要相信自己的直覺，因?yàn)榇蠖鄶?shù)情況，自己的直覺是最正確的。