書蟲三級《伊?！じチ_姆》：7、最后一段行程

7.The last ride
7．最后一段行程

It was about midday when Ethan got home. Zeena was by the fire with a scarf on her head and a book about stomach pains in her hand. She did not move or look up.

伊桑到家時，大概是中午。齊娜裹著頭巾坐在爐火邊，手里拿著本跟胃病有關(guān)的書。她一動不動，連眼皮也沒抬。

Where's Mattie?' Ethan asked.

“瑪?shù)倌兀?rdquo;伊桑問道。

Zeena continued to read her book. 'I guess she's packing her case,' she replied.

齊娜繼續(xù)看她的書，答道：“我猜她在收拾箱子吧。”

Ethan went straight upstairs. Mattie's door was closed. 'Matt,' he said in a low voice. There was no answer, so he gently pushed open the door.

伊桑徑直上了樓?，?shù)俚姆块g關(guān)著門。“瑪?shù)佟?rdquo;他低聲道。沒有應(yīng)聲，于是他輕輕地推開門。

Mattie was sitting on her case in her best dress, with her back to the door and her face in her hands. She was crying. Ethan put his hands on her shoulders.

瑪?shù)俅┲詈玫囊路?，坐在箱子上，背對著門，雙手捂臉，正在哭呢。伊桑把雙手放在她肩上。

Matt — oh, don't — oh, Matt!'

“瑪?shù)?mdash;—哦，不要——哦，瑪?shù)伲?rdquo;

Ethan — I thought you weren't coming back!' she cried, lifting her wet face to his.

“伊桑——我以為你不回來了！”她哭著，抬起滿是淚水的臉看他。

He took her in his arms, and kissed her soft hair. Then they heard Zeena calling, and moved away from each other.

他抱住她，親吻她柔軟的頭發(fā)。接著，他們聽到齊娜的喊聲，于是相互分開來。

He carried her suitcase downstairs, and with every 'tick' of the clock, the pain in his heart grew.

他提著她的行李箱下樓，鐘聲每“滴答”一下，他心中的痛苦就增長一分。

At dinner he could eat nothing. After the meal Zeena sat down by the fire and Mattie began to wash the dishes. Jotham got up from the table and asked Ethan:

午飯時，他什么都吃不下去。飯后，齊娜又坐在爐火邊，瑪?shù)匍_始洗碗碟。喬撒姆從桌邊站了起來，問伊桑：

So what time'll I come round for Mattie?'

“我什么時候來接瑪?shù)伲?rdquo;

You needn't come round; I'm going to drive her over myself,' he answered.

“你不用過來了，我會駕車送她去。”伊桑答道。

Zeena lifted her head. 'I want you here this afternoon, Ethan. You'll have to get the room ready for the new girl. Jotham can take Mattie.'

齊娜抬起頭來。“我想要你下午待在這兒，伊桑。你得給新來的女孩兒準(zhǔn)備好房間。喬撒姆可以送瑪?shù)偃ァ?rdquo;

I'm going to drive her over myself,' he repeated in a hard voice. He turned to Mattie: 'You be ready at three, Matt. I've got business in Corbury.'

“我要親自送她去。”伊桑冷冷地重復(fù)了一句，轉(zhuǎn)身對瑪?shù)僬f：“3點(diǎn)鐘你準(zhǔn)備好，瑪?shù)?。我在科貝里還有事。”

With those words he left the house. He could feel the hot blood beating in his head, as the anger burned inside him. He hurried through his work. then went to get the horse and sleigh. He remembered the day when he had got the sleigh ready in order to fetch his wife's cousin from the station. It was little more than a year ago, on a soft afternoon just like this, with a whisper of spring in the air. And all the days between then and now came back to him, one by one.

說完這話，他離開了家。他胸中一團(tuán)怒火，熱血在腦中砰砰直蹦。他匆匆干完活兒，就去準(zhǔn)備馬和雪橇。他記起了自己備好雪橇去車站接妻子的表妹那天。那是在一年多前，也像今天下午一樣，天氣溫和，空氣中帶有一絲春意。一時間，這一年多來發(fā)生的事情一件一件都浮現(xiàn)在他眼前。

He jumped into the sleigh and drove up to the house. The kitchen was empty, and Mattie's case and coat lay ready by the door. After a moment he heard someone moving about in his study-room. He pushed open the door and saw Mattie standing by the table.

他跳上雪橇，駛到家門口。廚房里沒人，瑪?shù)俚南渥雍屯馓追旁陂T口。過了一會兒，他聽到書房里有人，于是推開門，看見瑪?shù)僬驹谧雷优浴?/p>

What are you doing in there, Matt?'

“瑪?shù)?，你在那兒干嗎?rdquo;

Just looking round,' she replied.

“只是看一看。”瑪?shù)俅鸬馈?/p>

Where's Zeena?'

“齊娜呢？”

Gone upstairs. She said she had her pains again.'

“上樓了。她說她又疼上了。”

Didn't she say goodbye?'

“她沒跟你告別？”

No. That was all she said.'

“沒，她只說了那些。”

They went back into the kitchen. Ethan looked slowly around the room, thinking, 'In a few hours I shall return here alone. I'm looking at Mattie here for the last time.' He could not believe it; it all seemed so unreal.

他們走回廚房。伊桑慢慢地環(huán)視房間，想道：“再過幾個小時，我就要孤身一人回到這里。在這兒看瑪?shù)僮詈笠谎郯伞?rdquo;他不敢相信，一切看起來都不像是真的。

Come on,' he said, opening the door. He helped her into the sleigh, and with a 'Go along!' to the horse, they started off down the hill.

“來吧。”他說著打開了門，扶瑪?shù)偕狭搜┣痢?ldquo;走吧！”他對馬吆喝一聲，向山下駛?cè)ァ?/p>

We got lots of time for a good ride, Matt!' he said, taking her hand in his.

“咱們有時間好好走一程，瑪?shù)伲?rdquo;他說著，握住她的手。

As they left the farm, he did not take the road towards Starkfield, but turned the horse to the right, up the Bettsbridge road. Mattie did not seem surprised.

出了農(nóng)場，他沒走去斯塔克菲爾德的路，而是把馬頭一轉(zhuǎn)，向右奔貝茨布里奇而去?，?shù)俨]感到奇怪。

Are you going round by Shadow Pond?'

“你要繞夏多池塘的那條路嗎？”

You knew, didn't you?' he laughed.

“你早就知道，是不？”他笑了。

The road took them down into a wood, where the trees shone reddish in the afternoon sun, leaving soft blue shadows on the untouched snow. There was a warm stillness in the wood. In the middle was a small icy pond, with sweet-smelling trees all around. It was a quiet, secret place, like the quiet sadness in Ethan's heart. They saw a fallen tree by the icy water, half covered in snow. It was where they had sat once last August, together with a group of young people from Starkfield church.

他們沿路駛進(jìn)一片樹林。午后的陽光下，樹木泛著紅光，在沒有足印的雪地上投下柔和的藍(lán)色陰影。樹林中有種溫暖的寂靜，林中有一個冰封的小小池塘，池塘周圍的樹木散發(fā)著芬芳的氣息。這是一片寂靜、隱秘的地方，就像伊桑沉默、悲傷的心。他們看見冰封的池水旁有一棵樹倒在那兒，一半埋在雪里。他倆還曾在那上面坐過，那是在8月，和一群從斯塔克菲爾德教堂里來的年輕人一起。

They sat down now in the same place, and remembered those few happy moments from that hot summer afternoon. Ethan looked at Mattie's hair, and wished he could touch it again. He wanted to tell her that it smelled of the woods in springtime, but he had never learned to say things like that.

現(xiàn)在他們又在原處坐下，回憶著自那個炎熱的夏日午后以來，曾度過的幾段美好時光。伊?？粗?shù)俚念^發(fā)，希望能再輕撫它。他想告訴她，她的頭發(fā)聞起來有股春日樹林的味道，可他從不會說那樣的話。

When the sun began to go down behind the hill, Mattie said: 'We mustn't stay here any longer.'

太陽開始落山了，瑪?shù)僬f道：“我們不能在這兒待下去了。”

As they drove back towards Starkfield, the sky was turning grey, with a cold red over the western hills.

他們駛回斯塔克菲爾德鎮(zhèn)的時候，天陰了起來，西邊的山上顯出一抹冷冷的紅色。

Matt,' Ethan said at last. 'What'll you do? Can't you ask your father's family for help?'

“瑪?shù)伲?rdquo;伊桑終于說道，“你能干什么呢？就不能讓你父親家的親戚們幫幫忙？”

I don't want to ask them,' she replied, then after a moment added: 'I guess I'll find something.'

“我不想求他們。”她答道，過了一會兒又說，“我想我能找到事做。”

You know I'd do anything for you —'

“你知道，為了你我什么都愿意做——”

Yes, I know.'

“嗯，我知道。”

But I can't —'

“可我不能——”

She was silent, but he felt her shoulder shaking. 'Oh, Matt,' he cried. 'I wish...'

她沉默了，可他能感到她的肩膀在顫抖。“哦，瑪?shù)伲?rdquo;他喊道，“我希望……”

She turned to him. 'Ethan, I found this.' She held out a piece of paper. It was the unfinished letter to his wife, which he had forgotten to destroy. A painful happiness ran through him. Were Mattie's dreams the same as his? He had to know.

她轉(zhuǎn)過身來。“伊桑，我發(fā)現(xiàn)了這個。”她手里拿著張紙，是他寫給妻子的未完成的信，他忘了毀掉它。他心中滑過一陣苦澀的幸福感。難道瑪?shù)俸退氲囊粯?？他必須知道?/p>

Do you feel like that too, Matt? Tell me, Matt, tell me!'

“你也這么想嗎，瑪?shù)?？告訴我，瑪?shù)伲嬖V我！”

Oh, Ethan, what does it matter now?' she cried. With a sudden movement she tore the letter into pieces and threw them onto the snow. For a moment she was silent, then said in a low voice:

“哦，伊桑，現(xiàn)在還有什么意義嗎？”她大聲說道。她猛地把信撕成碎片，拋到雪上。她沉默了一會兒，然后低聲說道：

The first time I thought of you like that was at Shadow Pond. Then I often used to think about you on summer nights when the moon was too bright and I couldn't sleep.'

“我第一次那么想你的時候是在夏多池塘。從那以后，每當(dāng)夏夜里月光皎潔，我睡不著的時候，就常常想你。”

Her words filled Ethan's heart with sweetness. Darkness began to fall and they drove on in silence for a while.

她的話讓伊桑心中充滿了甜蜜。天開始暗了下來，他們默默地行了一段路。

I'm fastened hand and foot, Matt. There isn't a thing I can do,' he began again.

“我完全被束縛住了，瑪?shù)佟Ｊ裁炊几刹涣恕?rdquo;他說道。

You must write to me sometimes, Ethan.'

“你一定要時不時給我寫信，伊桑。”

Oh, what can writing do? I want to put my hand out and touch you. I want to take care of you. I want to be there when you're sick and when you're lonely.'

“哦，寫信又有什么用呢？我想伸出手來，觸摸你，我想照顧你，在你生病、孤獨(dú)的時候陪著你。”

Oh, Ethan, I wish I was dead!' she cried.

“哦，伊桑，我真希望我死了！”她大聲說道。

Don't let's talk that way,' he whispered.

“別這么說。”他低語道。

As they arrived in Starkfield, a sleigh with bells passed them. They heard happy children's voices and saw a group of village boys with sleds. They drove on to the top of the Corbury road. On one side was the tall white shape of the church, on the other were the dark shadows of the Varnum trees. The steep slope lay empty and white below them. An idea came to Ethan, to help himself and her through their miserable last hour. He turned to Mattie.

他們到達(dá)斯塔克菲爾德鎮(zhèn)的時候，一駕馬拉雪橇響著鈴鐺從他們身邊駛過。他們聽到孩子們幸福的叫聲，看到一群村里的男孩兒帶著滑雪橇。他們駛上科貝里的最高處，一邊是高高的白色教堂，一邊是瓦納姆家的樹投下的暗影。腳下的陡坡白雪皚皚，空無一人。伊桑想到一個主意，能讓自己和瑪?shù)侔具^這痛苦的最后時刻。他轉(zhuǎn)身對瑪?shù)僬f：

We never went coasting last night. Shall we go down now? How would you like that?'

“我們昨晚還沒玩滑坡呢，現(xiàn)在玩怎么樣？你愿意嗎？”

There isn't time!'

“可我們沒時間了！”

There's as much time as we want,' he said. 'The hired girl can wait. Look, someone's left a sled under the trees.'

“我們想要多少時間，就有多少時間。”伊桑說，“雇來的女孩兒可以等著。瞧，有人把滑雪橇落在樹下了。”

He helped her out of the sleigh, and took her by the hand towards the sled. They both sat down on it, with Mattie in front and Ethan behind.

伊桑扶瑪?shù)傧铝搜┣?，拉著她的手向滑雪橇走去。兩個人坐了上去，瑪?shù)僭谇?，伊桑在后?/p>

It's so dark, Ethan. Are you sure you can see?'

“天好黑，伊桑，你確信能看得見嗎？”

Oh, I can do this with my eyes closed!' he laughed. She laughed with him, then after a moment he cried: 'Now!'

“嗬，我閉上眼睛都行！”他笑著說，瑪?shù)僖残α?。過了一會兒，伊桑喊了一嗓子：“下去嘍！”

They started off, and soon the sled was flying down the slope, round the corner by the big tree, and down the second slope. They came to a stop, picked up the sled, and began to climb up the hill again.

他們出發(fā)了，不一會兒，滑雪橇就飛速沖下坡去，繞過拐角處的大樹，滑下第二個斜坡。他們停了下來，拿起滑雪橇，又開始爬上山來。

It was wonderful!' laughed Mattie.

“太棒啦！”瑪?shù)傩χf。

Weren't you afraid when we went round the tree?'

“從大樹旁邊滑過的時候你不害怕嗎？”

I'm never afraid with you,' she replied.

“跟你在一起，我從來不怕。”瑪?shù)俅鸬馈?/p>

A deep silence seemed to fall from the starless sky. At each step of their climb Ethan said to himself: 'It's the last time we'll ever walk together.'

天上一顆星星都沒有，一片沉寂彌漫開來。他們每爬一步，伊桑都對自己說：“這是我們最后一次走在一起了。”

When they reached the Varnum trees, Ethan put back the sled. 'I guess this must be Ned Hale's sled,' he said.

走到瓦納姆家的樹叢旁時，伊桑把滑雪橇放了回去。“我猜這肯定是內(nèi)德·黑爾的滑雪橇。”他說。

Is this where Ned and Ruth kissed each other?' Mattie whispered, throwing her arms round Ethan. Her lips found his, and Ethan held her close to him.

“內(nèi)德和露絲就是在這兒互相親吻的嗎？”瑪?shù)俚吐晢柕溃龘ё∫辽?，將嘴唇貼上了伊桑的嘴唇，伊桑抱緊了她。

Goodbye — goodbye,' she said in a shaking voice, and kissed him again.

“再見了——再見了。”她的聲音顫抖著，又親吻了伊桑一下。

Matt, I can't let you go! What'll we do? What'll we do?'

“瑪?shù)伲也荒茏屇阕?！我們該怎么辦？我們該怎么辦？”

They stood holding hands like children. Through the stillness they heard the church clock.

他們站在一起，像孩子一樣手握著手。寂靜中，他們聽到了教堂的鐘聲。

Oh, Ethan, it's already five o'clock. It's time!'

“哦，伊桑，已經(jīng)5點(diǎn)鐘了。到時間了！”

Time for what? I'm not leaving you now. How can we go anywhere without each other, after this?'

“到什么時間了？我不會離開你的。今后，彼此不在一起，我們怎么能去別的地方？”

Suddenly she threw her arms round his neck again.

突然，瑪?shù)僭俅螕ё∫辽５牟弊印?/p>

Ethan! Ethan! I want you to take me down again!'

“伊桑！伊桑！我想讓你再帶我滑下去！”

Down where?'

“滑到哪兒去？”

Down there. Into the tree, to finish it all. Then we'll never have to leave each other again.'

“滑到那兒，撞上大樹，結(jié)束這一切。然后我們就再也不用分離了。”

Matt! What are you saying? Are you crazy?'

“瑪?shù)?！你在說什么？你瘋了嗎？”

No, but I will be crazy if I leave you. Where'll I go without you? You're the only person who's ever been good to me. And there'll be a strange girl sleeping in my bed where I used to lie at night and think of you...'

“不，我沒瘋，但要是離開你我會瘋的。沒有你，我能去哪兒？只有你才對我好。以后會有個陌生的女孩兒睡在我床上，而我曾在夜晚躺在那里，想著你……”

Her words were like pieces torn from his heart. Now at last he knew that Mattie's feelings were as strong as his. How could he go back to that hated house, to the woman who was waiting for him there?

瑪?shù)俚脑捤撼吨男摹，F(xiàn)在他終于明白，原來瑪?shù)俚那楦泻妥约阂粯訌?qiáng)烈。他怎么能回到那個讓人憎惡的家，回到正在那兒等候自己的女人身邊呢？

He held her close and kissed her, but when her face touched his, it was cold and wet with tears. He saw the road down to the station, and through the still air he heard a train. The dark trees covered them in blackness and silence, like a grave. 'Perhaps it'll be like this,' he thought. 'After this I won't feel anything.'

他抱緊她，親吻著她，她的臉觸碰到他時，他感到冷冰冰的，她臉上流滿了淚水。他看著通向車站的路，在寂靜中聽見有火車駛過。黑黢黢的樹像墳?zāi)挂粯?，將他們籠罩在一片黑暗和沉寂之中。“或許就該如此。”他想，“這之后，我就再也不會有任何感覺了。”

Come,' she whispered, pulling at his hand. He picked the sled up, and they took their places on it. This time he made her sit behind him. She put her arms round him, and he turned his head and kissed her. She was right — this was better than being apart.

“來吧。”她低聲說道，拉起他的手。他拿起滑雪橇，兩個人坐了上去，這回，他讓瑪?shù)僮谒竺妗Ｋ龘ё∷?，他轉(zhuǎn)過頭來，親了親她。她是對的——這比起分離要好得多。

Just as they started, he heard his horse whinny. First came the steep drop, and they seemed to be flying through the air, high up into the cloudy night. Then Ethan saw the big tree at the corner of the road, and he said between his teeth: 'We can do it; I know we can do it —'

剛剛向下滑的時候，伊桑聽到他的馬在嘶鳴。接著他們就滑下了陡坡，就像在空中飛行，穿過多云的夜空。然后，伊?？吹搅斯战堑拇髽?，他咬著牙說：“我們能行的，我知道我們能行的——”

As they flew towards the tree, Mattie held him closer and he seemed to feel her heart beating. The tree became bigger and nearer. 'It's waiting for us; it knows,' he thought. But suddenly his wife's face, grim and twisted, appeared before him, and he moved to push the picture away. There was a last moment when the air shot past him like millions of burning stars. And then the tree...

他們沖向大樹，瑪?shù)俦Ьo了伊桑，伊桑感覺得到她的心跳。樹變得越來越大，越來越近。“它在等待我們，它知道的。”伊桑想著?？珊鋈婚g，他妻子那張陰沉、扭曲的臉又出現(xiàn)在他眼前，他動起來，想抹去眼前的畫面。在最后一刻，一陣風(fēng)掃過他的身體，像無數(shù)顆熾熱的星星。然后，是那棵樹……

The sky was still cloudy, but when he looked straight up he saw a single star. What was its name? He used to know, but he couldn't remember. He felt so tired...

天空依然陰云密布，可當(dāng)他直視天空時，卻看到了一顆孤星。它叫什么名字？他本來知道的，可現(xiàn)在卻想不起來。他感到很累……

Through the deep stillness he heard a little animal making a small, frightened sound. He knew the animal was in terrible pain — he could feel its pain shooting through his own body. He reached out his left arm to help the poor animal, and felt something soft under his hand. He tried to move but could not, because there was a rock, or some heavy thing, lying on him. Then he realized that his hand was on Mattie's face, and the sound was coming from her lips...

在一片沉寂中，他聽到有小動物發(fā)出微弱、受驚的聲音。他知道它一定很痛——他能感覺它的疼痛穿過了自己的身體。他伸出左臂，想幫那可憐的家伙一把，卻摸到一堆軟軟的東西。他想動彈，但卻動不了，因?yàn)橛惺^，或者什么重重的東西壓在他身上。這時他意識到，他摸到的是瑪?shù)俚哪槪锹曇羰菑乃谥邪l(fā)出的……

He put his face next to hers, and in the darkness he saw her eyes open and heard her say his name.

他把臉湊到她的臉旁，黑暗中，看見她睜著雙眼，叫著自己的名字。

Oh, Matt, I thought we'd done it,' he whispered; and far away, up the hill, he heard the horse whinny, and thought: 'I ought to give him his supper...'

“啊，瑪?shù)伲乙詾槲覀兂晒α四亍?rdquo;他低聲說道。他聽到遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)的山上馬在嘶鳴，心想：“我該給它喂草料了……”