專四晨讀美文：Marriage Partnerships

Marriage Partnerships
Traditionally, the woman has held a low position
in marriage partnerships.
While her husband went his way
she had to wash, stitch and sew.
Today the move is to liberate the woman,
which may in the end strengthen the marriage union.
Perhaps the greatest obstacle to friendship in marriage
is the amount a couple usually see of each other.
Friendship in its usual sense is not tested
by the strain of daily, year-long cohabitation.
Couples need to take up separate interests (and friendship)
as well as mutually shared ones,
if they are not to get used to the more attractive elements
of each other's personalities.
Married couples are likely to exert themselves for guests—
being amusing, discussing with passion and point—
and then to fall into dull exhausted silence
when the guests have gone.
As in all friendship,
a husband and wife must try to interest each other,
and to spend sufficient time sharing absorbing activities
to give them continuing common interests.
But at the same time they must spend enough time
on separate interests with separate people
to preserve and develop their separate personalities
and keep their relationship fresh.
For too many highly intelligent working women,
home represents chore obligations,
because the husband only tolerates her work
and does not participate in household chores.
For too many highly intelligent working men,
home represents dullness and complaints—
from an over-dependent wife
who will not gather courage to make her own life.
In such an atmosphere,
the partners grow further and further apart,
both love and liking disappearing.
For too many couples with children,
the children are allowed to command all time and attention,
allowing the couple no time to develop liking and friendship,
as well as love,
allotting them exclusive parental roles.