《生活大爆炸》第十季:第12集:元旦假期(下)
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Okay. They told Mary they were living together,there was a fight, he got his feelings hurt,then he put underwear on his head...
好吧，他們把同居的事情告訴了瑪麗然后就吵了一架，他傷心了然后他就把內(nèi)褲穿在了頭上...
On purpose,not the way it used to happen in high school.
故意穿在頭上不是以前高中會(huì)有的那樣
I was acting odd intentionally.
我是故意表現(xiàn)奇怪的
Really? So you can control it?
真的嗎?所以你能收放自如咯?
Okay. Then what happened?
好吧，然后呢?
Well, there's really not much left to tell.
然后也就沒什么好說的了
I decided that my mother views me as a child because I never went through a rebellious phase,
我感覺我媽還把我當(dāng)個(gè)孩子來看因?yàn)槲覐膩頉]有過逆反期
so, I got an earring.
所以，我就去打了耳環(huán)
My mother made me take it out.
我媽逼我把它拿掉了
Amy put alcohol on it.
艾米在耳洞上涂了酒精
And here we are.
然后我們就回來了
What did we miss?
我們錯(cuò)過什么啦?
I couldn't explain it if I tried.
我就是想說也力不從心啊
So tell me, how did Sheldon look with an earring?
謝爾頓戴耳環(huán)看上去怎么樣啊?
Like the pirate who helps the other pirates connect to the Internet.
看上去像那種幫助其他海盜解決IT問題的海盜
So what did you and Leonard do?
那你和萊納德干什么了啊?
Actually, we got in a pretty nasty fight.
實(shí)際上，我們大吵了一架
It might've been the worst one we've ever had.
這可能是我們有史以來吵得最兇的一次了
Oh, my God, what happened?
天哪，怎么回事?
Well, we had started bingewatching Luke Cage together,and it was kind of our thing, and then,
我們一開始一邊喝酒一邊看"盧克凱奇"這向來都是我們一起做的事
I find out that she watched two episodes without me.
然后我發(fā)現(xiàn)她居然趁我不在自己看了兩集
It's like I was excited for a present and got socks.
圣誕節(jié)了你就給我送只襪子
I don't understand how that turns into the worst fight of your life.
我不明白這怎么就成了你們這輩子吵得最厲害的一次了
I don't understand what's wrong with socks.
襪子有什么不好的
To be fair, we may have been on edge because of the Christmas tree.
說實(shí)在的，因?yàn)槭フQ樹的事我們之間氣氛本來就比較緊張
What happened with the tree?
圣誕樹怎么了?
You do make a cute elf.Oh, yeah?
你扮小精靈真是萌的一臉血真的嗎?
And you thought Spock ears were only good for ComicCon.
你還覺得斯波克的耳朵只適合在動(dòng)漫大會(huì)上戴呢
Hey, hey, I just found a farm where they let you chop down your own tree.
嘿，我剛找到了一個(gè)農(nóng)場你可以自己砍自己想要的圣誕樹呢
Oh cool, I'll be like a pointyeared Paul Bunyan.Stupid idea.
太棒了，那我就是尖耳版的伐木巨人了，真是個(gè)蠢主意
No, what's stupid is a physicist who doesn't understand when you swing an axe,you don't let go.
不，蠢的是你這個(gè)物理學(xué)家連揮斧子的時(shí)候手不能放開都不知道
For the tenth time, my mittens were slippery!Ugh.
再說一次，是我的連指手套太滑了!呵呵
It's 70 degrees, you didn't need mittens.
外面有21度呢，根本沒必要戴手套
You know how easily I blister.
你也知道我容易起水泡的嘛
Yes, yes, you bruise, you peel.
是是是，你容易淤青，容易蛻皮
It's like I'm married to an old piece of fruit.
我簡直就嫁了一個(gè)熟透了的水果嘛
Look, we could keep fighting and let it ruin our night,or... or we can stop and try to salvage the evening.
我們可以繼續(xù)吵，把這整個(gè)晚上都?xì)Я嘶蛘?..我們現(xiàn)在停下來還有希望拯救一下這個(gè)晚上
Fine. Thank you.Leonard?Yeah.
好吧，謝謝你萊納德啊?嗯
There's something on the windshield.
擋風(fēng)玻璃上有點(diǎn)東西
You need a break?
你要不要休息一下?
Do not need a break.
不需要
There's no shame in asking for a break.
說要休息一下沒什么可恥的
If I need a break, I'll ask for a break! Ugh.Leonard? Yeah?
如果我要休息的話，我會(huì)說的!好重萊納德啊?干嘛?
There's a tree on you.
你身上有棵樹
You want to decorate it tonight?
你想今晚順便把樹裝飾了嗎?
Yeah, with gasoline and a match? Sure.
好啊，用汽油和火柴嗎?我贊成
I hope it kills us both.
我希望這玩意兒把我倆殺了
By the way, if anyone asks,the elevator shaft always had a tree in it.
對了，如果有人問起來的話電梯廂里一直都有一棵樹
So Bernadette, if I express interest in your baby will you promise not to make me touch it?
那么，伯納黛特如果我表達(dá)了對你的孩子的適當(dāng)關(guān)心，你能保證別讓我摸他嗎?
Sure.Hey, how's life with your baby?
當(dāng)然，嘿，你的娃過得咋樣?
Really? You're never gonna touch their baby?
真的嗎?你永遠(yuǎn)都不打算碰他們的小寶寶嗎?
To this day I've never touched Stuart.
直到今天我都沒有碰過斯圖爾特
It's been wonderful, Sheldon, thanks for asking.
她很好，謝爾登謝謝你的關(guān)心
Oh, please stop crying, I'm begging you!
別哭了好不好，我求求你了!
I don't know what else to do!
我不知道還能做什么了
My boobs are empty. Do you want lasagna?
奶已經(jīng)被你喝光了，你要吃點(diǎn)千層面嗎?
Shh, shh, shh, it's okay, it's okay.Shh.
乖嘛，乖嘛，不哭了，不哭了
What have we done?
我們這是造的什么孽啊?
Hey, I found superhero baby wipes,the perfect way to clean up crime...and tushies.Ugh.
嘿，我找到了超級英雄嬰兒紙巾既能清理犯罪現(xiàn)場，也能用來擦屁屁哦啊
It took me two hours to get her down.
我整整花了兩小時(shí)才讓她安靜下來
Oh, you... you relax, I'll take this shift.
噢，你...你休息吧，接下來就交給我
You know, in India when my baby brother cried like that,the servants would just take him far away so we couldn't hear it.
在印度的時(shí)候，只要我弟弟哭成那樣的時(shí)候仆人就會(huì)把他抱得遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)的這樣我們就聽不見了
Not always, sometimes we'd leave.
但有的時(shí)候是我們走遠(yuǎn)點(diǎn)
Hey, he got her to stop.
聽，他讓她不哭了
That was so fast.
這也太快了吧
Oh, he's really good with her.
他很擅長哄孩子嘛
Yeah, he has a gift.
是啊，很有天賦
What's the matter?
你怎么哭了?
Nothing, these are happy tears. Oh, good.
沒事，我這是喜極而泣，那就好
No they're not, you bozo!
才不是，你這個(gè)蠢貨!
How come Stuart can get her to stop crying, but I can't?
為什么斯圖爾特能讓她不哭，我這個(gè)親媽反倒不行呢?
I mean, it's Stuart.Maybe she's playing possum until he goes away.Not funny.
畢竟他是斯圖爾特，沒準(zhǔn)她是裝死等他走呢。一點(diǎn)都不好笑
She's tired, that was funny.
她只是累了，還是挺好笑的
Everyone's a better mom than me.
所有人都比我會(huì)照顧寶寶
Oh, don't take it so personally,maybe your baby's just a jerk.
嗯，你別往心里去沒準(zhǔn)兒你家寶寶就是個(gè)混蛋呢
Wait, so how does the story end?
等會(huì)兒，所以這故事怎么結(jié)尾的?
Is the baby a jerk or is Bernadette a bad mother?Sheldon!W... What?
是這寶寶混蛋還是伯納黛特不會(huì)帶孩子啊?怎么說話呢，謝爾登!怎...怎么了?
Is there another twist coming?
故事難道還有轉(zhuǎn)折?
Is the baby not theirs at all? Ignore him.
這孩子到底是不是他們的啊?別理他
How did you get the baby to stop crying?
你怎么把寶寶哄不哭了啊?
Oh, I just talked to her.
哦，我就跟她說了說話
I've been told the sound of my voice puts people to sleep.
別人告訴我我的聲音特別催眠
You poor things, you must be exhausted.
你們兩個(gè)可憐的寶寶，累壞了吧
It has been hard to sleep with all the crying.
最近確實(shí)家里哭聲一片，睡不著覺
How can she hate me?
她怎么能恨我呢?
I make her food in my chest!
我奶都給她喝了!
It's like hating a frozen yogurt machine.
就好像恨凍酸奶機(jī)一樣啊
She doesn't hate you, stop saying that.
她不恨你，別這么說啦
Now you hate me too!
現(xiàn)在你也恨我了!
Shh, I don't hate you.
好啦好啦，我不恨你啊
It says here that up to 80% of new mothers experience baby blues.
我手機(jī)上說高達(dá)八成的新媽媽可能會(huì)經(jīng)歷產(chǎn)后抑郁癥
And that the best thing to do is reassure them that they're doing a good job.
最好的辦法就是告訴她們她們做的很好
Bernadette,you are doing a good job.
伯納黛特啊你做的挺好的
Thank you, Sheldon, I'm feeling better now.Thank you, Internet.
謝謝你，謝爾登我現(xiàn)在感覺好點(diǎn)了。謝謝你，互聯(lián)網(wǎng)
I'm telling you, with the right YouTube video,I can give Howard a vasectomy.
我跟你說過了，要是能找到合適的youtube視頻我都能把霍華德輸精管切除了
So things started to turn around?
所以事情開始好轉(zhuǎn)了?
Yeah, eventually I figured out how to get the baby to sleep.
嗯，后來我想出來怎么能哄寶寶睡覺了
Please tell me you didn't use Amy's magic juice.Bernie? Shh.
快告訴我你沒用艾米的迷幻藥，嘿伯尼?噓
She's asleep. Great.And where are you? Down here.Oh.
她睡著了，好。你在哪兒呢?在嬰兒床里呢哦
This is new. I didn't know what else to do.It worked.
這可從來沒見過。我也不知道還能怎么辦了。這樣好像挺管用的
Well, I'd say that's thinking outside the box,but... Come on.
嗯我想說你這是跳出盒子思考了，但是...這盒子啊
Don't make me laugh.Oh.
你別逗我笑啊，嗯好
Do you need help getting out?
要我?guī)湍闩莱鰜韱?
I think I live here now.It's fine.
我覺得我就住這兒了。沒事的
Is it okay if I get some sleep?Yeah, go ahead.
那我去睡一會(huì)兒行嗎?嗯，去吧
Good job, Mommy.I'm proud of you.
干得好，孩兒他媽。我真為你驕傲
Don't make me cry, either.Good night.
也別把我弄哭了啊，晚安
I love both my girls.We love you, too.
家里你們兩個(gè)女人我都愛。我們也愛你
I can't believe you fit in the crib.
真不敢相信你能住進(jìn)嬰兒床去
I could take a bath in the sink.
我都能在水池里洗澡
I don't, but I can.
我沒洗過，但是我能進(jìn)得去
So how were your holidays?
你假期過得好嗎?
Oh, thank you for asking.
哦，謝謝你關(guān)心
Uh, I, uh, went to visit my grandmother.
嗯，我去看我奶奶啦
She's in Bakersfield.
她住在Bakersfield
Uh, usually my brother and sister go...Oh, come on!
通常情況下是我哥哥姐姐去...哦，你們夠了!
That was fun, thank you.Yeah, thanks.
今兒晚上真開心，謝謝你們啦，嗯，謝啦
Our pleasure. See you guys at work.
沒事，班上見啦
Be there bright and early.
早點(diǎn)到哈
Not me, paternity leave. Oh!
我可不去上班，休產(chǎn)假呢，真是的!
A small human wreaks havoc on his wife's genitals and he gets time off.
一個(gè)小人在他老婆的子宮里狂魔亂舞他居然有假放
With pay, sucka!Forgot the baby, still new to this.
還帶薪呢，你們這些笨蛋!忘了寶寶還在這兒呢，原諒我剛開始做爸爸
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