生活大爆炸 第五季:第21集 為見霍金謝爾頓不顧一切(上)
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So, I got the craziest e-mail this morning.
我今早收到封超瘋狂的電郵
I don't mean to burst your bubble, dude, but those penile enlargement pills do not work.
我不想掃你的興，伙計(jì)，但那些壯陽藥沒用的
Believe me, I know.
相信我，我懂的
The e-mail I got was from the office of Stephen Hawking.
我收到了史蒂芬·霍金辦公室，發(fā)來的郵件
You're kidding. Why?
開玩笑的吧，為啥啊?
He's coming to the university for a couple weeks to lecture, and he's looking for an engineer to help maintain the equipment on his wheelchair.
他要到學(xué)校來進(jìn)行幾周的演講，想找個工程師幫他維護(hù)輪椅
That's amazing. You'll be like his pit crew.
太棒了，你就成他的后勤了
A word of caution: I would not do your Stephen Hawking impression in front of him. You're right.
友情提示，別在霍金面前模仿他。你說得對
I suppose that could be considered offensive.
這么做會很失禮的
Oh, Boy, Sheldon's going to freak out.
哦，老天，謝爾頓會興奮死的
Oh, Yeah, he worships Hawking. I was actually thinking about bringing him along when I go over there so he can meet the great man.
對，他很崇拜霍金。事實(shí)上我準(zhǔn)備去時，帶他一起，好讓他也見見這位偉人
That's really nice of you, Howard.
你人真好，霍華德
It's no big deal.
小事啦
Boy, a restraining order from Stephen Hawking.
來自霍金的限制令
It'll look so nice next to the ones he's already got from Leonard Nimoy, Carl Sagan and Stan Lee.
放在倫納德·尼莫埃（原版斯波克），卡爾·薩根（天文學(xué)家）和，斯坦·李（漫畫家）的限制令旁邊肯定很搭
Leonard, do you recall when I said
萊納德，你還記得我說過
that I was going to revolutionize humanity's understanding of the Higgs boson particle,
我要改變?nèi)藗儗?，希格斯玻色子的認(rèn)識
and you said, "Sheldon, it's 2:00 a.m., get out of my bedroom"?
然后你說"謝爾頓，現(xiàn)在是凌晨兩點(diǎn)，滾出我的臥室"嗎?
Like it was ten hours ago. What about it?
就在十小時前，為啥說起這個?
Well, I believe I've done it.
我相信我成功了
And I'm only saying "believe" to sound modest, because, sweet Sam Houston, I did it.
我說我相信只是出于謙虛，其實(shí)，額滴個娘喲，我成功了
Really? That's incredible. Oh, here.Break out the math.
真的嗎? 那太棒了，來，給我們演算一下
Oh, okay, let me see this.
好的，借用一下
All right, so this particle here is the boson moving forward in time.
好，這粒子表示玻色子隨時間運(yùn)動
Now, I was thinking... Howard, you go ahead and eat. This isn't going to make any sense to you.
我想到...霍華德，你繼續(xù)吃吧，這個你看不懂的
Sheldon, I have a working understanding of physics. Yeah, good for you, and don't stop working on it.
謝爾頓，我有相當(dāng)?shù)奈锢碇R，嗯，很不錯，繼續(xù)努力
Are you still going to tell him about you-know-who? Yep.
你還會跟他提那人嗎?會
Are you still going to introduce him? Not on your life.
你還準(zhǔn)備介紹給他認(rèn)識嗎?門兒都沒有
Please, please, please let me meet Hawking.
求你了，求你了，求你讓我見見霍金吧
I told you, no. But I said I'm sorry.
我告訴你了，不行、但我都道歉了
No, you said, "Would it help if I said I'm sorry? "
不，你說的是"如果我道歉會有用嗎? "
And you never answered me.
你沒有答我啊
So who owes whom an apology now?
現(xiàn)在該誰道歉了?
Sheldon, you're a condescending jerk. Why on earth would I want to do something nice for you?
謝爾頓，你是個傲慢的混蛋，我干嗎要對你好啊?
Um... to go to Jewish heaven?
為了上猶太人的天堂?
Jews don't have heaven. Then to avoid Jewish hell?
猶太人沒有天堂。那為了不去猶太人的地獄?
Have you met my mother? I live in Jewish hell.
你認(rèn)識我媽吧? 我已經(jīng)在地獄里了
Howard, please. This is Stephen Hawking.
霍華德，求你了，這可是史蒂芬·霍金啊
Perhaps my only intellectual equal. Oh, you can't be serious.
智力上唯一可能與我，不相伯仲的人。你真是不可理喻
Try to put yourself in my place. Imagine you're the sole human being living on a planet populated with nothing but dogs.
試著換位思考一下，試想你身處滿是狗狗的星球，你是唯一的人類
And then it turns out there's another human being.
然后你發(fā)現(xiàn)，居然還有另一個人類
Hang on.Are you saying the rest of us are dogs?
等會兒，你是說我們都是狗?
Okay, I can see you're going to take this the wrong way. Let me try again.
好吧，你好像理解錯了，我再來一遍
Imagine you're the sole human being living on a planet populated with nothing but chimps.
試想你身處滿是猩猩的星球，你是唯一的人類
Get out of my lab. Oh, now they're so much smarter than dogs.
滾出我的實(shí)驗(yàn)室。別呀，猩猩可比狗聰明多了
Have you seen them on those little bicycles? Get out.
你見過他們騎單車嗎?滾出去
How about dolphins? Out!
那海豚呢?滾
So, come on, how was the first day with Hawking? It was great.
和霍金的第一天怎么樣?很棒
We talked about movies... I showed him some card tricks...
我們聊了電影...我給他表演撲克魔術(shù)
He even let me read a couple pages from his new book.
他甚至還讓我看了幾頁他的新書
Something got you down there, bunky?
哥們，你唉聲嘆氣個啥?
Howard, please, I'm begging you.
霍華德，我求你了
Raj, you're our group historian. Has Sheldon ever begged before? Three times.
拉杰，我們中你記憶力最好了，謝爾頓，以前求過人嗎?三次
He begged the Fox network not to cancel Firefly.
他求Fox電視臺不要砍掉"螢火蟲"（科幻劇集）
He begged the TNT network to cancel Babylon 5.
他求TNT電視臺砍掉"巴比倫五號"
And when he got food poisoning at the Rose Bowl Parade, he begged a deity he doesn't believe in to end his life quickly.
他在"玫瑰碗游行"時食物中毒，求一位他不信奉的神，快點(diǎn)結(jié)束他的生命
Do you understand how important Hawking is to me?
你知道霍金對我有多重要嗎?
When I was six years old, I dressed up as him for Halloween.
我六歲時，還在萬圣節(jié)扮過他呢
You're kidding. No, sir, no, I took my dad's desk chair,
你搞笑吧?不是開玩笑，閣下，我弄來我爸的辦公椅
attached a Speak and Spell to it and made my sister push me up and down the block to trick or treat.
裝上了兒童點(diǎn)讀機(jī)，讓我妹推去鄰居家"不給糖就搗蛋"
Granted most people thought I was R2-D2, but still, I got a lot of candy.
雖然大多數(shù)人認(rèn)為我是R2-D2（星戰(zhàn)里的機(jī)器人），但我收到了很多糖果
You don't seem to be understanding the English word "no." Maybe a different language will help.
你貌似不明白英語里"不"的意思，換種語言，也許你會明白
Russian: nyet. Chinese: bu.
俄語:不，中文:不
Japanese: iie. Klingon: qo'.
日語:不，克林貢語:沒門
Binary coded Ascii: 0110111001101111.
二進(jìn)制ASCII代碼，0110111001101111
It's actually 01100111. No!
應(yīng)該是，01100111...不行
I'm not asking for me, I'm asking for Hawking.
這不是為了我，而是為霍金
Let me try gansta: Hells naw.
我試試黑話，你丫去死
Okay, look, how about this?
好吧，你看這樣行不?
Just give him my paper on the Higgs boson.
你幫我把那篇，"希格斯玻色子"的論文給他（上帝粒子，霍金不相信它的存在）
If he sees the incredible breakthrough I've made, he'll reach out to me.
看到我驚人的突破，他會主動聯(lián)系我的
What if he doesn't? He will; he's really smart.
如果他不呢?一定會的，他是聰明人
That's an interesting idea.
很有趣
Why don't you give me a minute to talk it over with my friends?
給我點(diǎn)時間，我和我朋友討論下
How do I do that? You walk away. Walking away.
怎么做?走開。馬上走
You do realize you own his ass right now. I do.
你知道他現(xiàn)在可以任你使喚了吧。當(dāng)然知道
You can make him do anything you want.
你可以讓他做任何事
Yeah, I know, I'm just trying to figure out how much I want to punish him.
是啊，我正想該怎么玩他
Well, don't be too mean.
不要太過了
Hey, fellas, I'm thinking about making some freshly brewed iced tea if anyone would like some.
嘿，各位，我要泡杯冰紅茶，你們要嗎?
I wouldn't mind a glass. I wasn't talking to you.
給我泡一杯吧，沒跟你說
Bring him to his bony knees.
玩他個生活不能自理
Sheldon, come on back. Yes, yes.
謝爾頓，乖，過來下。來了，來了
What did you decide?
你們決定好了?
I'll give your paper to Professor Hawking. Great, thank you! Oh, that's terrific!
我會把你的論文給霍金教授。太好了，非常感謝，棒極了
But in exchange, I'd like you to do a few things for me.
但作為交換，我要你為我做些事
What kinds of things?
什么樣的事?
Are you familiar with the 12 labors of Hercules?
你知道"大力神十二難"嗎?（出自希臘神話，大力神成神前的磨難）
Of course. You should be so lucky.
當(dāng)然，你和他比下算幸運(yùn)的
All right. What would you like me to do first?
好的、第一項(xiàng)要我做什么?
Well, I thought I'd start you off by polishing my belt buckles.
從擦我的皮帶扣開始吧
By all means. When I was a boy, I would polish my Mee-Maw's silver.
沒問題。我小時候，會幫我奶奶擦銀器
And she would entertain me with stories about growing up in Oklahoma.
她會用在俄克拉荷馬州的，成長趣事來逗我
Interesting woman. She once killed a prairie dog with a gravy boat. That's nice.
她可有意思了。她曾用調(diào)味瓶砸死一只土撥鼠。真不錯呢
That's a lot of belt buckles.
皮帶扣還真多啊
Funny thing is, I only have one belt.
有趣的是，我只有一條皮帶
Anyway, I'll let you get started.
總之，你還是趕緊開始吧
Oh, by the way, the little marks, uh, that look like water spots—I tend to stand too close to the urinal, so...
那像水漬的痕跡...我站得離便池太近了，所以...
...what you're seeing there is splash back.
那痕跡是濺出來弄的
You make sissy on your belt buckles?
你往皮帶扣上沾尿了?
Mee-Maw's forks never had that.
奶奶的叉子上才不會有呢
Here is a black light to check them. And for your own peace of mind, you might not want to shine that around the rest of the room.
給你這黑光燈，方便觀察，如果你想有個好心情，最好別用來照房間的其他地方
Sheldon, these look great.
謝爾頓，你弄得真不錯
They're like magnificent little crowns to hang over my magnificent little jewels.
它們就像是戴在我"小寶寶"頭上的，華麗小皇冠一樣
How'd you get them so shiny?
你怎么能擦得如此閃亮?
Oh, I-I buffed them with Turtle Wax.
我用龜牌蠟擦的
The man down at Pep Boys says from now on, the urine should just bead up and roll right off.
汽修店那人說，從今以后，尿要是再沾上，就直接滑下去了
Way to go the extra mile. Your Mee-Maw would be proud.
謝謝你的多此一舉，你奶奶會為你驕傲的
My Mee-Maw must never know of this.
這事決不能讓我奶奶知道
Now will you give Professor Hawking my paper?
現(xiàn)在你會把我的論文，給霍金教授了嗎?
Oh, my dear boy, no.Okay.
我親愛的孩子，還不行
Next, this is a sexy French maid costume I bought for Bernadette.
接下來，這是一件我買給伯納黛特的，性感法式女仆裝
I thought it might spice things up and get her to dust my room at the same time,
我想它會增加情趣，同時讓她幫我打掃房間
but I was wrong and really wrong.
但是我錯了，真的錯了
And you want me to return it for you?
你想讓我?guī)湍氵€掉?
No, no, no, mon petit cherie.
不，不，不，我的小心肝（法語）
What are you all staring at?
你們都盯著我干嗎?
You ever seen a man try to get a meeting with Stephen Hawking before?
沒見過千方百計(jì)想見霍金的人嗎?
Hey Hello. It's not Saturday night.Why are you doing your laundry?
嘿，你好。今天不是周六啊，你怎么在洗衣服?
This is not my laundry.
這不是我的衣服
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