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霍華德在哪兒?
No "Hi, Raj"? No "How are you, Raj? " Just straight to "Where's the other white guy?" I'm sorry.
不說"你好,拉杰",不說"最近好嗎,拉杰",直接問"另一個(gè)白人在哪兒"對(duì)不起
So, listen, I heard something about him. Can you keep it between us? Ooh, gossip.
我聽到他的一些消息,能不能保密?哦,八卦
When I first got here, I thought you Americans really gossiped around the water cooler.
剛來的時(shí)候,我還以為,你們美國(guó)人愛在飲水機(jī)旁聊八卦
So I hung out there for, like, a month, but the only gossip I ever heard was about some creepy guy hanging out by the water cooler.
所以我有一個(gè)月經(jīng)常在那兒晃,但我聽到的唯一八卦就是,飲水機(jī)旁一直有個(gè)猥瑣男
Bernadette wants to get a prenup.
伯納黛特想簽婚前協(xié)議
Oh, that's a shame he's gonna be devastated.
真悲劇,他會(huì)傷心欲絕的
I never know what to do in these situations. Should I give him a heads-up?
我不知道這種情況該怎么做,要不要提醒他下?
I'm gonna give you the same advice I yell at the TV when the Bachelor's handing out roses.
我的建議和每次電視上"單身漢"(美國(guó)交友真人秀)送玫瑰時(shí),我喊的一樣
Follow your heart.
隨心而行
Check it out. Look at the size of that Rice Krispie Treat! Same price.
來瞧瞧,瞧這大米酥的個(gè)頭。價(jià)格不變哦
Hey, Howard, I need to tell you something. I know, it's not on my wedding diet. I don't care.
嘿,霍華德,我有事跟你說,我知道,我又沒在為婚禮節(jié)食。我無所謂
Uh, l-listen, I... heard that Bernadette's thinking about asking you for a prenup. A prenup?
聽著,我...聽說伯納黛特想讓你簽婚前協(xié)議?;榍皡f(xié)議?
What are you gonna do? I... don't know.
你想怎么辦?不知道
Follow your heart.
隨心而行
You know what, it's... not a big deal.
知道嗎?這也沒啥
She makes more money than me. She wants to protect her financial interests.
她比我賺得多,她也是想保護(hù)她的財(cái)產(chǎn)
It's completely reasonable.
這很合理啊
Good. That's a healthy attitude.
好,這么想很健康
Yeah, actually, it's good for both of us.
嗯,其實(shí)對(duì)我倆都有益
I have assets to protect, too.
我也有要保護(hù)的財(cái)產(chǎn)啊
Like what? I've got some rare comic books.
比如?我有些稀有的漫畫書
The Vespa's almost paid off.
摩托車的分期付款快付清了
And Ma and I have a primo double cemetery plot at Mt.Sinai right near the guy who played Mr.Roper on Three's Company.
我媽和我在西奈山有個(gè),高級(jí)雙墓位,旁邊就是..."三人行"里演羅坡先生那人
Mr. Roper's dead? !
羅坡先生死了?
You can't just spring that on a guy!
你咋能這么突然地向我宣布呢
Here you go.
好了
This is now the only lab with glassware washed by a man with two doctorates
你這實(shí)驗(yàn)室可算獨(dú)一份了,玻璃容器由擁有兩個(gè)博士學(xué)位的人洗
and a restraining order signed by Carl Sagan.
卡爾·薩根還對(duì)他申請(qǐng)了限制令,(著名天文學(xué)家)
Soap spots. Wash 'em again.
皂漬。再洗一遍
Y... You're being ridiculous! Those are perfectly clean.
你太扯了,洗得可是清潔如新的
Sheldon, this beaker used to contain cerebral spinal fluid from an elephant that died of syphilis.
謝爾頓,這燒杯可盛過死大象的腦脊液,它死于梅毒
If it's, in fact, perfectly clean, drink from it.
如果真是清潔如新,用它喝水
Biologists are mean.
生物學(xué)家都好討厭
All right, perhaps this task will be a little bit more up your alley.
好,也許你會(huì)對(duì)這項(xiàng)任務(wù),更感興趣一點(diǎn)
I need you to count the bacteria spores on these petri dishes.
你來數(shù)一下培養(yǎng)皿中,細(xì)菌孢子的數(shù)量吧
There was something wrong with that detergent.
那洗潔精絕對(duì)有問題
That was way too bubbly.
泡泡太多了
I'm sure it was. I intend to write that soap company a strongly worded letter.
那是當(dāng)然,我想跟那家洗滌用品公司,寫封措辭激烈的信
Yeah, good for you.Now, start counting.
嗯,挺好,開始數(shù)吧
You know what this place needs?
知道這里需要個(gè)什么嗎?
A suggestion box. 366... 367...
意見箱。366... 367...
How's it going? How's counting going?
怎么樣了?數(shù)得怎么樣了?
When I was in kindergarten, I recited pi to a thousand places for the school talent show.
我上幼兒園時(shí),曾在學(xué)校才藝秀上,把π背到了1000位
I think I got this. Great.
這我能行。很好
Aw, nuts! One... This is preposterous!
要死。一...這太荒謬了
I think you're giving me these tasks because you're afraid if you give me anything meaningful to do, I'll show you up.
我認(rèn)為你給我這些任務(wù),是因?yàn)槟闩氯绻o我重要的任務(wù),我會(huì)把你比下去
Really? Is that what you think?
真的嗎? 你真這么想?
Yes, that's what I think.
對(duì),我真這么想
And I'm super smart, so it's probably true.
我聰明絕頂,所以這很可能是真的
Hey, I've been training in the field of neurobiology for 12 years.
嘿,我已經(jīng)在神經(jīng)生物學(xué)領(lǐng)域,學(xué)習(xí)了12年
You've been here for three hours, and you've spent one of them in the bathroom.
你才來了三個(gè)小時(shí),其中一小時(shí)還是在洗手間度過的。
I'm sorry! It takes me a while to get things going on an unfamiliar toilet.
不好意思,我進(jìn)你那陌生的廁所之前,也躊躇了一會(huì)兒
Sheldon, I've given you the simplest things to do, and you haven't done one of them right.
謝爾頓,你做的都是最簡(jiǎn)單的活兒,連那活兒你都沒做好
Maybe that's because I'm not being challenged.
也許是因?yàn)槟菍?duì)我沒有挑戰(zhàn)性
It's the same reason Einstein failed math. Maybe the math was too bubbly for him.
這也是愛因斯坦數(shù)學(xué)不及格的原因,也許是數(shù)學(xué)對(duì)他來說,泡泡太多了
You think you're doing science by cutting up that brain?
你以為你切切腦子就算科學(xué)?
They could do the same thing at any Quiznos.
奎茲諾斯的店員也干同樣的活兒,(著名三明治快餐店)
And they'd offer to toast it for me, too. Okay, smart guy.
他們還會(huì)主動(dòng)幫我烤一烤。好,聰明人
I'm about to remove the locus coeruleus, which is incredibly delicate work. Have at it.
我正要切除藍(lán)斑,這活兒需要相當(dāng)?shù)募记?。你來?/div>
All right. I'm no stranger to a little gray matter.
好的。我對(duì)腦灰質(zhì)可不陌生
Locus coeruleus. Locus coeruleus.
藍(lán)斑,藍(lán)斑
You're getting warmer it is, indeed, in the brain.
別叨叨了,它就在腦子里
Hope your hands are steady.
希望你的手能穩(wěn)住
It's the width of a single hair.
它只有頭發(fā)般粗細(xì)
But this is just biology, so I'm sure it's no problem for a genius like you.
但這是生物學(xué)嘛,對(duì)你這天才來說,根本沒問題。
It's not. I'll have you know, in the field of physics, we work with particles so small, they make fat jokes about the locus coeruleus.
確實(shí),給你說啊,在物理領(lǐng)域,我們研究的粒子都超小,見到藍(lán)斑都得笑它胖
I.e., when your locus coeruleus sits around the house, it sits around the house.
比如"如果說藍(lán)斑在家里呆著,那是說它胖得只能發(fā)呆"
Oh...are we nervous, Dr.Cooper?
緊張了嗎,庫(kù)珀博士
No.What you see is a man trembling with confidence.
不,我這是因信心十足而顫抖
Does a locus coeruleus normally bleed that much?
藍(lán)斑一般會(huì)流那么多血嗎?
No.But your thumb does. Oh, dear.
不,但你的拇指會(huì)。娘誒
Yeah, you're a biologist.
是啊,你還真是生物學(xué)家
What are you doing here?
你來這兒干嗎?
I'm on vacation.
我在休假嘛
Social convention dictates that I let my hair down at a local watering hole.
按社會(huì)傳統(tǒng),我該去本地酒吧放松一下
Social convention is stupid.
社會(huì)傳統(tǒng)真蠢
What happened to your thumb?
你的大拇指怎么了?
You know, I have ten fingers and ten toes. If I tell you a story about each one of them, we'll be here all day let's just move on.
我有十個(gè)手指和十個(gè)腳趾,如果每個(gè)我都要講個(gè)故事的話,那得講一整天,還是別說了
What can I get you?
有什么需要嗎?
Ah, seeing as I'm on vacation, uh, pia colada seems appropriate.
既然我在休假,來杯"鳳梨園"應(yīng)該不錯(cuò)
Extra pineapple slices, extra whipped cream, extra cherries, extra umbrellas, and, uh, hold the rum.
多加鳳梨切片,多加鮮奶油,多加櫻桃,多加小傘,別加朗姆酒
Don't let me have too many of those.
別讓我喝太多哦
Hey, what are you guys doing here?
嘿,你倆怎么在這兒?
We're grown men; we drink at bars. No and no.
我們是成年人,在吧臺(tái)喝酒啊。不對(duì),也不對(duì)
Everything okay with you and Bernadette? Oh, yeah, sure.
你和伯納黛特沒事吧?當(dāng)然
You and Amy? Good? Oh, better than good.
你和艾米呢?還好吧?那是相當(dāng)好
You know those girls text me every detail of their lives as it happens. I'm not signing a prenup.
姐妹們都會(huì)把所有事,發(fā)短信給我說的。我不簽婚前協(xié)議
All right, Howard Wolowitz, listen up.
好,霍華德·沃洛維茨,聽好
You sign anything she puts in front of you, because you are the luckiest man alive.
她給你什么你都要簽,因?yàn)槟闶鞘郎献钚疫\(yùn)的男人
If you let her go, there is no way you can find anyone else speaking on behalf of all women, it is not gonna happen; we had a meeting.
如果你跟她分了,你就再也找不到這么好的人了,我是代表全世界女性說的,不可能找到,我們開過會(huì)了
And you, a grown man fainting at the sight of a little blood.
你呢,一個(gè)大男人,見點(diǎn)血就暈
Excuse me, this is a fairly substantial wound. You...
不好意思,那傷可是相當(dāng)嚴(yán)重。你...
Amy? Amy? Amy? What do you want?
艾米?艾米?艾米?你想干嗎?
I was kind of hoping I could continue vacationing in your laboratory.
我希望能繼續(xù)在你的實(shí)驗(yàn)室度假
After all, I did book the whole week.
畢竟我訂了一周呢
Do you honestly think you can just waltz back in here after the way you behaved yesterday?
你真以為昨天你那樣后,還能悠哉地回來嗎?
I was not myself.
當(dāng)時(shí)我已神志不清
I had lost a lot of thumb blood.
我拇指失了太多血
That's not an apology.
這可不算道歉
That is your opinion.
就你這么想
I want a real apology.
我想要個(gè)真正的道歉
I'm sorry that you weren't able to... No.
對(duì)不起你沒能...不行
...that my genius... No. ...that the soap was... Sheldon.
我的才華...不行。那肥皂...謝爾頓
Fine. Sorry. You're forgiven.
好。對(duì)不起。原諒你了
Now, if you want to stay, get started on those beakers. They're still dirty from yesterday.
如果你想留下來,快去洗燒杯吧,昨天你還是沒洗干凈
Next year I'm going to Epcot.
明年我去"未來世界"(主題樂園)
Are you mad at me?
你生我氣嗎?
No. I'm not mad at you. I just... wish you would have come to me, so I didn't have to hear it through the nerd-vine.
沒,我沒生氣,我只是...希望你能提前告訴我,免得我從宅男兄弟那里聽說
So, what are we gonna do?
你打算怎么辦?
You really want me to sign a prenup?
你真想讓我簽婚前協(xié)議?
I don't know.
不知道哦
My dad's pretty insistent on it, though.
不過我爸挺堅(jiān)持的
Why don't I talk to your dad, man-to-man?
我去跟你爸談?wù)劙?,倆男人面對(duì)面
Really? Oh, that'd be so great! Done.
真的嗎? 實(shí)在太棒了!好
I should probably give you a heads-up about a couple of things.
我要先給你提幾個(gè)醒
Even though he's retired from the police force, he still carries his gun.
雖然他從警局退休了,他還是會(huì)帶著槍
But don't worry, he won't shoot it. It's more of a fashion statement. Okay.
但不要擔(dān)心,他不會(huì)開槍,那就算是個(gè)時(shí)尚配件。好
And just to be safe, when you talk to him, don't bring up Jimmy Carter, gardeners, foreign people, homosexuals, Sean Penn, Vatican II,
安全起見,你和他聊時(shí),別提到吉米·卡特,園丁,外國(guó)人,同性戀,西恩·潘,梵蒂岡二次會(huì)議
gun control, organic food, the designated hitter rule, recycling or the fact that you're Jewish.
槍支管制,有機(jī)食品,"指定擊球手"規(guī)則,資源回收,也別提你是猶太人
Got it, got it.
知道了,知道了
Will you e-mail me that list?
列個(gè)表電郵給我吧
So the thing to watch for, if he's shouting at you, you're okay,
還要注意以下幾點(diǎn),如果他沖你大吼大叫,你聽著就好
but if he starts to get real quiet, leave as quickly as you can without making eye contact.
但如果他開始非常安靜,盡快離開,不要做眼神接觸
Not in a straight line throw some zigs and zigs in there.
也別直著跑,盡量左右躲著跑
You know, this isn't that pressing. Why don't I talk to him about it in May.
其實(shí)不用那么急啦,我五月再跟他談吧
In May you're gonna be on the International Space Station.
五月你就上國(guó)際空間站啦
They got a phone.
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