三怪客泛舟記：決定去度假

There were four of us-George,and William Samuel Harris,and myself,and Montmorency.We were sit-ting in my room,and we were smoking and talking about how bad we were-ill,I mean,of course.

我們一伙是四個——喬治，威廉·塞繆爾·哈里斯，我，還有“元帥”。那天，大伙兒坐在我的房間里，抽煙、聊天，談到我們的近況有多糟糕——當(dāng)然我指的是病得多糟糕。

We were all feeling in poor health,and we were getting quite worried about it.Harris said that he felt really bad sometimes,and he did not know what he was doing.And then George said that he felt bad,too,and that he did not know what he was do-ing either.With me it was my heart.I knew it was my heart because I had read something in a magazine about the symp-toms of a bad heart.I had all of them.

大家都感到渾身不舒服，心里直發(fā)慌。哈里斯說他常常覺得十分難受，不知道自己在干些什么。喬治說，他也經(jīng)常發(fā)昏，不知道自己在干什么。至于我，是心臟病，因為我在一本雜志上看到過心臟有病的癥狀，我全都有。

It is a most extraordinary thing,but every time I read about an illness,I realize that I have it too-and that my symptoms are very bad!In fact,my health has always been a worry,I remember…

說來真怪，每次看到有關(guān)各種疾病的情況，我就意識到自己也有——而且還病得很重。坦率地說，我的身體一直令人擔(dān)心。我還記得……

One day I had a little health problem,and I went to the British Museum Library to read about it.I took the book off the library shelf,and I began to read.After some time,I turned over the page and I began to read about another illness.I don't remember the name of the illness,but I know it was something really terrible.I read about half a page-and then I knew that I had that disease too.

有一次我有點小毛病，就去了大英博物館查查醫(yī)書。我從架子上拿下書，翻起來。不一會兒，翻到第二頁，又看到另一種病。我記不清叫什么名字，但我知道是種極其兇險的不治之癥。半頁還沒看完，我斷定自己也得了這種病。

I sat there for a time,cold with horror.Slowly,I beqan to turn over more pages.I came to a disease which was worse than the last one.I began to read about it and,as I expected,I had that disease too.Then I began to get really interested in myself,so went back to the beginning of the book.I started with the letter 'a' and I read from 'a' to 'z'.I found that there was only one disease which I did not have.This made me a little unhappy.Why didn't I have that disease too?

我坐在那兒，害怕得一陣陣發(fā)冷。接著又慢慢翻了幾頁，看到比前一個更可怕的病。讀了癥狀，不出所料，我也有這個病。于是我開始對自己可能有的病感興趣了，便翻到開頭，從字母“a”一直查到“z”，發(fā)現(xiàn)只有一種病我沒有，心中還多少有點傷心，我怎么沒把那個病也得了呢?

When I walked into that reading-room,I was a happy,healthy young man.When I left I was a very sick man,close to death…

進閱覽室的時候我還是快樂而健康的年輕人，可爬出來的時候已經(jīng)是病魔纏身，離死神不遠了。

But I was talking about my heart-nobody understood how ill I really was.I had this bad heart when I was a boy.It was with me all the time.I knew that it was my heart because I had all the symptoms of a bad heart.The main symptom was that I did not want to work.Of course,nobody understood that the problem was my heart.Doctors were not so clever then.They just thought that I was lazy!

回頭再說說我的心臟——沒人知道我病得有多重。小時候，心臟就不好，這么多年來，這病一直沒有離身。是心臟有病，肯定沒錯，因為所有病癥我都有，主要一條是不愿意干活。當(dāng)然，他們都不知道這是心臟有病的原因。那時候醫(yī)生也不大高明。在他們看來，我得了懶病。

'Why，you lazy boy,you,'they used to say.'Get up and do some work for once in your life!'they did not understand that I was ill.

“哼!你這個懶家伙，”他們常這么說。“快起來!你就不能干點正經(jīng)活?!”他們哪里明白我有病啊!

And they did not give me medicine for this illness-they hit me on the side of the head.It is very strange,but those blows on my head often made the illness go away for a time.Sometimes just one blow made the sickness disappear and made me want to start work immediately…

還有，他們不給我吃藥，還敲我腦袋。說也奇怪，敲幾下的確管用，病就好一會兒，有時敲一下，病就沒了，我急著逃開去干我的活。

Anyway，that evening,George and William Harris and I sat there for half an hour,and described our illnesses to each other.I explained to George and William Harris how I felt when I got up in the morning.William Harris told us how he felt when he went to bed.Then George stood in front of the fire,and,with great feeling,he showed us how he felt in the night.

書歸正傳，那天晚上我們在屋里坐了半個小時，彼此訴說患病的痛楚。我對喬治和哈里斯講早晨起床時有多么難受;哈里斯告訴我們他睡覺時有多么難受;而喬治站在火爐邊，滔滔不絕地說著他晚上有多么難受。

George always thinks he is ill,but really,there is never any-thing the matter with him,you know.

喬治總以為自己有病，可你知道，其實根本沒有那回事。

At that moment Mrs Poppets,my housekeeper,knocked on the door.She wanted to know if we were ready to have supper.

這時候，管家波貝絲太太敲了敲門，問我們是不是準(zhǔn)備吃晚飯。

We smiled sadly at each other,and then we said that perhaps we should try to eat something.Harris said that a little food helped to prevent illness.So Mrs Poppets brought the supper in.We sat down at the table,and for half an hour we managed to play with some steak and chips-and with a large cake that Mrs Poppets had made.

我們彼此苦笑了一下，說沒辦法，勉強吃點什么吧。哈里斯說吃點東西可以抵抗疾病。波貝絲太太把飯端進來，我們坐在桌邊，足足有半個小時，把牛排，薯條擺弄來，擺弄去，盯著波貝絲太太做的蛋糕看了又看。

When we had made ourselves eat something,we filled our glasses,and we lit our pipes.Then we began to talk about our health again.We were not quite sure what was the matter with us.However,we were all quite certain of one thing-we had been doing too much work.

好不容易強迫自己吃了點什么，我們又斟滿了酒，點上煙斗，繼續(xù)討論我們的健康問題。到底得了什么病，我們也不清楚，但有一點大家都同意的是——我們都勞累過度。

'We need a rest,'Harris said.

“我們需要休息，”哈里斯說。

'A rest and a change,'George added.

“休息，還要換個環(huán)境，”喬治補充道。

I agreed with George,and I said that perhaps we could go to the country.We could find a nice,quiet place and we could sit in the warm summer sun.We could go somewhere peaceful,far away from other people.

我完全同意喬治的建議，我們或許可以去鄉(xiāng)下，找一個美麗、幽靜的地方，遠離塵囂，享受夏天明媚的陽光。

Harris said that he thought that would be awful.He added that he had been to a place like that once.Everyone went to bed at eight o'clock，and he had to walk for an hour to buy cigarettes and a newspaper.

哈里斯說這主意可不怎么樣。他說以前去過這樣的地方，可受不了，大家八點鐘就得去睡覺，要買香煙和報紙得走一個小時。

'No，'Harris said.'If you want a rest and a change,then the sea is best.'

“我不同意，”哈里斯說。“要休息、改變環(huán)境的話，海上旅行是最好不過了。”

I said that this was a terrible idea.A sea trip is fine if you are going for a month or two-but not for a week.I know what it is like…

我說海上旅行的主意簡直太可怕了，要是去一兩個月還可以，如果只有一個星期可沒意思。我知道那會是怎么樣……

You start out on Monday and you think that you are going to enjoy yourself.You wave goodbye happily to your friends.You walk up and down on the ship,like Captain Cook,Sir Francis Drake or Christopher Columbus.On Tuesday you wish that you had not come.On Wednesday,Thursday and Friday you wish that you were dead.On Saturday you are able to drink something.You begin to smile a little at the kind people who ask you how you are.On Sunday you start to walk again,and you eat a little.And on Monday morning,as you stand and wait to get off the ship-you begin to enjoy yourself.

星期一出發(fā)的時候，你滿心想著到海上享受一番，高高興興地和岸上的朋友揮手告別，在船上來來去去地走，就象自己成了庫克船長，弗蘭西斯·杜雷克爵士或哥倫布。星期二，你就有點后悔了，希望沒來這一趟。星期三、四、五，你覺得生不如死。星期六稍稍能喝點東西;好心的旅客問起你的情況，你也能沖他們笑一下了。星期天，你開始走動走動，吃點東西。又到星期一的早晨，你站在船舷上準(zhǔn)備上岸了，這才感到海上旅行有意思。

I remember that a friend of mine once took a short sea trip from London to Liverpool for his health.He bought a return ticket,but,when he got to Liverpool,he sold it and he came back by train…

我記得有次一個朋友休養(yǎng)身體去短期旅行。他買了從倫敦到利物浦的雙程船票，可一到利物浦，他立刻賣掉船票，后來自己坐火車回來了。

So I was against the sea trip-not for myself,you understand.I am never seasick.But I was afraid for George.George said he would be fine.In fact,he said he would quite like it,but he thought that Harris and I would both be ill.Harris said he was never seasick.In fact,he had often tried to be ill,but he had not succeeded.It is very strange,but,when you are on land,you never meet anybody who has ever been seasick!

所以，我堅決反對去海上旅行——當(dāng)然這并不是為我自己，我是從來不暈船的。我是擔(dān)心喬治。可喬治卻說他沒事，他倒是很喜歡這個主意，但是他怕哈里斯和我會病倒?？晒锼拐f他從來不暈船，坦白說，他倒總想生病，可就是總不成功。真是怪事，在陸地上，你甭想碰到哪個人說自己暈船。

So George said,'Well,let's go up the river,then.'He added,'We'll have fresh air on the river.The hard work on the boat will make us hungry,so we'll enjoy our food.We'll sleep well,too.'

喬治說：“好吧，咱們還是到河上玩玩吧。”他又說：“河上也有新鮮空氣，忙忙碌碌的，一會兒就餓了，這樣既增進了食欲又能睡得香甜。”

Harris replied,'Well，you never have any trouble sleeping,anyway.In fact,you're always going to sleep!'

哈里斯答道：“哼!你就沒有睡不著的時候。直說了吧，你總昏昏欲睡的。”

But,in the end,Harris agreed that it was a good idea.I thought that it was a good idea,too.The only one who did not like the idea was Montmorency.

不過，哈里斯還是同意這個主意不錯，我也認(rèn)為是個好點子。唯一不喜歡這個想法的是“元帥”。

'It's different for me,'his face said.'You like it,but I don't!There's nothing for me to do.I don't smoke.I don't like looking at the trees and the flowers,and when I'm asleep you'll play about with the boat and I'll fall over the side!'

“你們想得倒挺美，”它擺出一副面孔，“你們喜歡，我可不喜歡!河上我沒什么事好干。我又不抽煙，又不喜歡看什么樹啊，花啊的。況且，我睡覺的時候你們還一個勁地在船上玩，我會摔到河里去的!”

Montmorency's idea of a good time is to collect together all the most awful dogs he can find and then go round the town,looking for other awful dogs to fight.

“元帥”腦子里最妙的事不過是把所有的癩皮狗聚齊，在城里瞎轉(zhuǎn)，找另外一群癩皮狗開戰(zhàn)。

But we were three to one,so we decided to go anyway.

最后，三比一，我們還是決定出發(fā)了。